Posted by methylated_spirit
Thats right, its time to poke fun at chavs, neds, boy racers, goldie lookin' tw@ts, whatever you want to call them! You've seen them, cruising around the one-way system all night in their Fiat Unos with fake air vents glued on, happy hardcore banging away, badly fitted bodykit vibrating obscenely with the poorly balanced top heavy bass, burberry cap balanced upon the forehead, with bleached hair protruding from underneath...post pics of the worst chav car modding attempts you've ever seen!
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[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2005-11-16 14:15 ]
[ This Message was edited by: laffen on 2005-11-17 21:33 ]
Posted by JT
please tell me those cars were photo-shopped
Posted by batesie
no the metro was on ebay not too long ago
WANTED! DEAD OR ALIVE
Posted by defensive
yet another ''official'' thread appears!
here's my contribution to this thread;
Posted by methylated_spirit
An excellent quote from www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk:
The Cruiser Ned: It is unusual to find this ned outside a car unless he is being questioned by the police and they are usually only seen from chest level up wearing a burberry base ball cap. These cruiser neds are dedicated to making their cars look as stupid as possible and they regularly congregate at public parks and waste ground to show off how stupid the cars look and how many unnecessary things they have added to their "motors" that week. These neds consume a lot of money to pursue their hobby and so will protect their cars with their life so it is not advisable to do anything to their cars other than point and laugh. Some people may get mixed up between a "cruiser ned" and a "common ned in a clapped out nova". The main difference between the two is that a cruiser ned will travel in circles for a whole night pumping crap music out of the window where as a common ned in a nova will drive fast for a night then set fire to the car.
Posted by methylated_spirit
Again, from glasgowsurvival.co.uk:
Here I present a treat. This is not a joke, this is real
Now, this car I found in my street and I couldn't believe what I saw. This guy has painted (with normal house emulsion) daft slogans like 'Turbo' and 'Max Power' and 'Kenwood'. He has gone out of his way to write 'NOS' in blue by his tailgate which I presume stands for Nitrous and added a plastic piping above. The worst part of this car (and this is what I cannot get my head around) is the horses head attached on the roof, it's one of those kiddies' galloping toys. Anyway they have drilled a hole in the roof and pushed the whole handle into the back. I presume it's meant to refer to Ferrari or something?
Posted by DickySnapples
Posted by jenbones
[ This Message was edited by: jenbones on 2007-12-26 21:24 ]
Posted by lamont
lol we can tell
Posted by tombadier
Here are some more classic jokes!
Enjoy!!
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"
How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.
What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please?
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand.
What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A
Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4
What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
How many chavs does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they'll screw anything.
What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."
Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash.
Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
A bus full of Chavs was driving through Wales. As they were approaching
Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth >until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde >girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society
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tombadier (+33, -0) Ebay Refs
[ This Message was edited by: tombadier on 2005-11-16 20:06 ]
Posted by lamont
they are f**kin quality!! U'v made mi day mate, im slightly chavvish and still find them amazingly funny, cheers mate!!
Posted by max99
lol
how did i knowe my name wud been in ur post
lol
btw take full name out n just put max99 plz
Posted by EastCoastStar
i take it you two know eachother in person? lol
Posted by lamont
What did the little chav say to the big chav?
"Can you get served?"
Did you hear about a bus full of chavs that careered off a bridge into a river? They all survived because you know how shit floats.
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
What do you call a 30 year old chav?
Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.
What do you do if you shoot a chav?
Reload.
Why did that chav go to prison?
He got caught stealing pens to apply for his dole cheques with
Posted by max99
Nope dn't know each other in person
Posted by Rocky B.
Ah, good old chave bashing. I ranked 2nd on google for 'chav scum' at one point, you know
Posted by methylated_spirit
hahahaha stupid bitch thought this would be classy, i cant believe she spelt her name out on the back of her motor like that....what a chav!
Step back ladies, he's taken...she's one lucky lady!
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Hello, Scroto!
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2005-11-17 10:21 ]
Posted by methylated_spirit
How Professor Steven Hawking likes to unwind after a hard days deciphering the myriad mysteries of the universe...
Posted by methylated_spirit
NED ALERT!
Posted by methylated_spirit
Posted by methylated_spirit
Posted by Sammy_boy
Haha, this is the funniest thread for a long long time!
Here's a few chavved-up motors I found:
A classic Chav/Ned motor
:
One of my favourites, though I suspect even chavs would balk at modding this 'classic' fiat:
I rather liked the Cavalier (had one myself) but would draw the line at this
Prepare to be sick:
Posted by DJcreamz
haha we all know your full name now
Posted by Johnex
What is a chav???
Posted by Cycovision
From wikipedia:
'Chav is a derogatory slang term in popular usage throughout the UK. It refers to a subculture stereotype of a person who is uneducated, uncultured and prone to antisocial or immoral behaviour. The label is typically, though not exclusively, applied to teenagers and young adults of white working-class or lower-middle class origin. Chav is used for both sexes, where a male chav is sometimes referred to as a chavster and a female as a chavette.'
In other words, chavs are complete scumbags
Posted by methylated_spirit
In scotland, known as "neds"
Check out http://www.chavscum.co.uk
Or, for the Scottish equivalent, the ned, check out http://www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk
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[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2005-11-17 16:46 ]
Posted by methylated_spirit
Here is a picture of a delightful young chav, probably been smoking since in the womb. I blame the parents.
EDIT: Ahh, think i've just found the mother!
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Hello, Scroto!
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2005-11-17 16:52 ]
Posted by DickySnapples
Posted by Cornholio_666
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Did that dude crash into Halfords?
Posted by solidsingh
looks like his car is a magnet and everything got attracted to it and stuck on
Posted by Melik
wtf is a chav ?
Posted by Cycovision
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wtf is a chav ? |
Have a look at page number 2 of this thread
Posted by Rookwise
Found this in town today
One for BarryBoys.com I think.
Posted by solidsingh
that is not a chav car
Posted by Rookwise
You didn't see the 17 year old driving it mate.
Within 5 minutes of taking the pics the same car went past me twice. Stereo up and 2 numptie 17 year olds (or very close) in the car. Caps, shellsuit thingy's and a ciggy hangin out of its mouth.
Posted by solidsingh
lol, that justifies it, any chav driving a car, is driving a chav car
Posted by methylated_spirit
hahaha check this chav out! Rumour has it he's an esato member...
Posted by Cycovision
Nice one Max!
Now all you need is a 1.0 litre fiat punto with holes purposely made in the exhaust, a can of magnolia emulsion for the 'go fast' stripes, some stolen hub caps that don't fit properly, copious amounts of foam rubber to form crudely shaped bumpers, a few torches to strap onto the bonnet, several very small bags of cannabis to conceal in the most obvious areas of the car and a couple of pregnant 15 year olds to sit in the back.
Jolly good!
Posted by DickySnapples
www.fat-pie.com/chavs.htm
Posted by haynesycop
OMG!
Posted by DickySnapples
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that is a chav car,to the extreme! bangin mayte!!!!
Posted by Luke-the-magic-man
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holy shit is that jenbones?
Posted by jagger2k
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Posted by marlonski
You could always sh*t in this
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SPURIOUS NONESENSE
[ This Message was edited by: marlonski on 2005-11-30 23:59 ]
Posted by punkbythebook99
Can someone give me the american equivalent to a chav? Im kinda hazy.
Posted by jagger2k
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Posted by punkbythebook99
Think i got it. Kinda sounds like a mix between white trash and a wigger.:-D