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The Esato Chav Banger Thread! |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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Thats right, its time to poke fun at chavs, neds, boy racers, goldie lookin' tw@ts, whatever you want to call them! You've seen them, cruising around the one-way system all night in their Fiat Unos with fake air vents glued on, happy hardcore banging away, badly fitted bodykit vibrating obscenely with the poorly balanced top heavy bass, burberry cap balanced upon the forehead, with bleached hair protruding from underneath...post pics of the worst chav car modding attempts you've ever seen!
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Hello, Scroto!
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2005-11-16 14:15 ]
[ This Message was edited by: laffen on 2005-11-17 21:33 ] |
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JT
Joined: May 13, 2005
Posts: 303
From: Birmingham
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 please tell me those cars were photo-shopped
www.mobileschoice.com - The UK's leading price comparison site for mobile phones. |
batesie
Joined: Feb 13, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: London, UK
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no the metro was on ebay not too long ago
WANTED! DEAD OR ALIVE
[addsig] |
defensive
Joined: Jun 23, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: Cheshire, UK Phones: K750i &
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yet another ''official'' thread appears!
here's my contribution to this thread;
[addsig] |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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An excellent quote from www.glasgowsurvival.co.uk:
The Cruiser Ned: It is unusual to find this ned outside a car unless he is being questioned by the police and they are usually only seen from chest level up wearing a burberry base ball cap. These cruiser neds are dedicated to making their cars look as stupid as possible and they regularly congregate at public parks and waste ground to show off how stupid the cars look and how many unnecessary things they have added to their "motors" that week. These neds consume a lot of money to pursue their hobby and so will protect their cars with their life so it is not advisable to do anything to their cars other than point and laugh. Some people may get mixed up between a "cruiser ned" and a "common ned in a clapped out nova". The main difference between the two is that a cruiser ned will travel in circles for a whole night pumping crap music out of the window where as a common ned in a nova will drive fast for a night then set fire to the car.
Hello, Scroto!
U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly! |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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Again, from glasgowsurvival.co.uk:
Here I present a treat. This is not a joke, this is real
Now, this car I found in my street and I couldn't believe what I saw. This guy has painted (with normal house emulsion) daft slogans like 'Turbo' and 'Max Power' and 'Kenwood'. He has gone out of his way to write 'NOS' in blue by his tailgate which I presume stands for Nitrous and added a plastic piping above. The worst part of this car (and this is what I cannot get my head around) is the horses head attached on the roof, it's one of those kiddies' galloping toys. Anyway they have drilled a hole in the roof and pushed the whole handle into the back. I presume it's meant to refer to Ferrari or something?
Hello, Scroto!
U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly! |
DickySnapples
Joined: Dec 05, 2003
Posts: > 500
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jenbones
Joined: Feb 19, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: london
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[ This Message was edited by: jenbones on 2007-12-26 21:24 ] |
lamont
Joined: Mar 27, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: Manchester, UK
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lol we can tell
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tombadier
Joined: Oct 27, 2004
Posts: 397
From: Derbyshire, UK
PM |
Here are some more classic jokes!
Enjoy!! 
What do you call a Chav in a filing cabinet?
Sorted
What do you call a Chav in a box with a lock on it?
Safe.
What do you call an Eskimo Chav?
Innuinnit.
Why are Chavs like slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
The bride.
You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
What you lookin' at?"
How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint three stripes on it.
Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
A liar.
What do you say to a chav with a job?
Can I have a big mac please?
What do you say to a chav in a suit?
Will the defendant please stand.
What do u call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A
Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
A Nova seats 4
What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
Granny.
How many chavs does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they'll screw anything.
What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A start.
How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."
Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash.
Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
What do you call a Chav at college?
The cleaner.
A bus full of Chavs was driving through Wales. As they were approaching
Llanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth >until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde >girl leaned over the counter and said,
"Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
Two chavs jump off beachy head, who wins?
Society
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 W800i And Sony PSP!
tombadier (+33, -0) Ebay Refs
[ This Message was edited by: tombadier on 2005-11-16 20:06 ] |
lamont
Joined: Mar 27, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: Manchester, UK
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they are f**kin quality!! U'v made mi day mate, im slightly chavvish and still find them amazingly funny, cheers mate!!
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max99
Joined: Nov 24, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Manchester (@ Uni)
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lol
how did i knowe my name wud been in ur post
lol
btw take full name out n just put max99 plz
[addsig] |
EastCoastStar
Joined: Dec 07, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: orlando fl US
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i take it you two know eachother in person? lol
Its good to be back! |
lamont
Joined: Mar 27, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: Manchester, UK
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What did the little chav say to the big chav?
"Can you get served?"
Did you hear about a bus full of chavs that careered off a bridge into a river? They all survived because you know how shit floats.
What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
What do you call a 30 year old chav?
Dunno. Ask her 17 year old son.
What do you do if you shoot a chav?
Reload.
Why did that chav go to prison?
He got caught stealing pens to apply for his dole cheques with
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max99
Joined: Nov 24, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Manchester (@ Uni)
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Nope dn't know each other in person
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Posted: 2005-11-16 15:13
