| Author |
The Limericks Thread |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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Post your limericks here! Dirty, clean, whatever, but no rascist ones!
The duchess when pouring the tea
Once asked "do you fart when you pee?"
I replied with some wit
"Do you belch when you shit?"
And i think that was one up to me!
There was a young lady whose joys
Were achieved with incomparable poise
She could achieve an orgasm
With scarcely a spasm
She could fart without making a noise.
There was a young man from Newcastle
Who tied up a shit in a parcel
He sent it to Spain
With a note to explain
That it came from his grandmothers arsell!
Hello, Scroto!
U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly! |
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dossballs
Joined: Nov 19, 2004
Posts: 0
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Under lime
This message was posted from a T68i |
Burgaz
Joined: Mar 25, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Cwmbranistan, S. Wales
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That's not a furking limerrick??
[ This Message was edited by: Burgaz on 2004-11-19 19:09 ] |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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The threads been ruined already! Thanks!
Welcome to Esato 
Hello, Scroto!
U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly! |
Burgaz
Joined: Mar 25, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Cwmbranistan, S. Wales
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Well Meths yours were pretty funny... The only limmericks i remember are crap ones... |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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Who cares, just post 'em
Hello, Scroto!
U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly! |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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There was a young lady called Alice
Who pee'd in a catholic chalice
The padre agreed
'Twas done out of need
And not out of protestant malice
On a picnic a Scot named McPhee
Got stung in the balls by a bee
He made oodles of money
By oozing pure honey
Each time he attempted too pee!
Said a printer pretending to wit
"There are certain bad words we omit
It would sully our art
To print the word f***
And we never, but never, say s***"
The Rajah of Afghanistan
Imported a Birmingham can
Which he set as a throne
On a great Buddha stone
But he crapped out of doors like a man
_________________
Hello, Scroto!
651 green bottles hanging on the wall...
"meths is da love professor" - Demmy.
Sign up for the Love-Life Boot Camp Today! [url=http://www.esato.com/board/sendpmsg.php?
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2004-11-19 19:16 ] |
Burgaz
Joined: Mar 25, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Cwmbranistan, S. Wales
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Old mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over,
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own
There was a man from Ghent
Who had a penis so long it bent
It was so much trouble
That he kept it double
And instead of coming he went.
There was a man called Dave
Who kept a dead whore in a cave
He said "I admit
I am a bit of a shit
But think of the money I save".
And a personal favorite...
There once was a girl named Madonna
To all the boys she'd ask "Do yo wanna?"
Warren Beatty said no,
called her a "HO"
Now she cries and smokes marijuana.
[ This Message was edited by: Burgaz on 2004-11-19 19:24 ] |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
PM |
A flea and a fly in a flue
Were imprisoned, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "let us flee!"
"Let us fly!" said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
Hello, Scroto!
U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly! |
methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
PM |
There once was a man from Bel Air,
Who was doing his girl on the stair.
When the banister broke,
He doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air.
There once was a man from Madrass
Who's balls were constructed of brass
When jangled together
They played stormy weather
And lightening shot out of his ass!
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a c**t I would f**k it!"
The once was a young girl from Norway
Who hung by her feet from the doorway;
Which worked out quite well,
'Cause when you rang her bell,
It actually turned out to be foreplay!
_________________
Hello, Scroto!
651 green bottles hanging on the wall...
"meths is da love professor" - Demmy.
Sign up for the Love-Life Boot Camp Today! PM me
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2004-11-19 19:30 ] |
goldenface
Joined: Dec 17, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Liverpool City Centre
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There once was a woman from China, who went for a trip on a liner, she slipped on the deck and twisted her neck and now she can see what's behind her.
I have an Irish mother and she is the Queen of Jokes and Limericks, none offensive. :-D.
This message was posted from a T610 |
kimcheeboi
Joined: Dec 19, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Abducted by hot blondes to Les
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@meths-
There once was a lad from Scotland
Who came up with an amazing plan
he didn't need to get paid
But he wanted to help folks get laid
So they wouldn't have to masturbate with their hand!
@JN-
There was a fellow from the Phillipines
Who wanted to join the Marines
He said "If I can't get laid maybe
I'll join the Navy
And play hide the submarine!"
(submarines are full of seamen  )
[addsig] |
kimcheeboi
Joined: Dec 19, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Abducted by hot blondes to Les
PM |
@scotty-
There was a chap from Glasgow
Who once had sex with a cow
he was feeling quite fine
sand thought he'd try something bovine
It turned out her name started with Frau
@mince
There was a man from Alwnick
Who had a friend named Rick
They decided to make love
But it was too rough
Cause Rick had a gigantic prick
_________________
Sign up for love classes now!
3 birds bagged v= 
[ This Message was edited by: kimcheeboi on 2004-11-20 00:21 ] |
kimcheeboi
Joined: Dec 19, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Abducted by hot blondes to Les
PM |
There was a kid who liked hamburgers
perhaps cause his mom was a porker
She laid with his dad in bed
then out popped fatreg
Cause his dad forgot to wear a rubber
[addsig] |
kimcheeboi
Joined: Dec 19, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Abducted by hot blondes to Les
PM |
Once there was a lad named kimcheeboi
who masturbated to pictures of Rob Roy
He went to prison
for his unnatural obsession
and was introduced to "Uncle Floyd"
[addsig] |
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Posted: 2004-11-19 20:05
