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Post Your funny Jokes Here |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
Went to the doctors today, I said "do you treat alcoholics"??
The doctor said "of course we do"
I said "great,get your coat on,I'm f**king skint" 
Phone?? What phone?? |
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masseur
Joined: Jan 03, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Sydney, London
PM |
ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
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BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.
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CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.
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CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
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COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
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DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.
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EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
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HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.
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INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
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MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.
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RAISIN:
Grape with sunburn.
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SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.
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SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
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TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.
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TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labour saving devices of today.
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YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.
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WRINKLES:
Something other people have, similar to my character lines.
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Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
NEW DRINKING WARNING
Vodka & ice will ruin your kidneys
Rum & ice will ruin your liver
Whisky & ice will ruin your heart
Gin & ice will ruin your brain
Pepsi & ice will ruin your teeth
There you have it,ice is f**kin lethal. Warn all your friends lay off the ice & just drink it straight.
You could save a life & don't forget what ice did to the Titanic
Phone?? What phone?? |
ceaser2008
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Posts: > 500
From: Surat, India
PM |
'What ice did to titanic'
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Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
The new Margaret Thatcher film has been rated 12a unsuitable for Miners 
A recent survey discovered that 90% of men don't know how to turn a washing maching on. I always find flowers & chocolates do the trick 
Phone?? What phone?? |
ceaser2008
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Posts: > 500
From: Surat, India
PM |
Two blonds have planned to visit DisneyLand in their car. They read a sign 'DisneyLand Left'. They stopped there, cried a lot and returned home.
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goldenface
Joined: Dec 17, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Liverpool City Centre
PM |
God! I have been laughin me head off at this thread for the past hour.
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tranced
Joined: Jan 19, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Santo Domingo, wonDeRland
PM |
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Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
New version of Viagra out under the name of Mycoxafloppin 
Phone?? What phone?? |
pt020
Joined: Aug 14, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Amsterdam NL
PM |
[ This Message was edited by: pt020 on 2012-05-22 14:05 ] |
alenn
Joined: Nov 07, 2010
Posts: > 500
From: Croatia,Zagreb
PM, WWW
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@Bonovox - another name: Pornalot |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
Have you heard about the Italian chef who died?? He pasta way
Phone?? What phone?? |
goldenface
Joined: Dec 17, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Liverpool City Centre
PM |
That's joke is well pasta it!
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Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
 pasta it's sell by date
Phone?? What phone?? |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
40 gypsies arrived at heaven's gates.
St. Peter said "we've only got room for 12, so decide amongst yourselves who's coming in".
Five minutes later St. Peter says to God. "They've gone".
God says, "What, all 40!?"
St. Peter says, "No... the gates
[ This Message was edited by: Sean72 on 2013-02-01 21:56 ] Phone?? What phone?? |
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Posted: 2011-11-24 22:44
jay0726 | 
