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Post Your funny Jokes Here |
who_am_i
Joined: May 31, 2009
Posts: 0
PM |
Not Really a Joke
But found it very interesting:
Boob Poem
I love boobs, big and small, I love boobs, best of all.
I think boobs are lots of fun, I think boobs are number one.
I think boobs are really neat, they make me want to beat my meat.
I love boobs covered in lace, I love boobs rubbing my face.
I love boobs in leather black, those are huge, do they hurt your back?
I love boobs in bras of silk, make me want to say "got milk"?
I love boobs in a college dorm, and in a nurse's uniform.
I love boobs in tight red sweaters, or stretching against a t-shirt's letters.
I love boobs in t-shirts wet, hey you with the nice boobs, have we met?
I love boobs in skimpy swim wear, I'm sorry, I can't help but stare.
I saw your cleavage from above, with your boobs I am in love.
Your boobs are giving me a stiffy, I'll have my pants off in a jiffy.
Your boobs have given me an erection, I want to do them without protection.
Your boobs have made me want to suck them. I even want to titty-f**k them | |
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goldenface
Joined: Dec 17, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Liverpool City Centre
PM |
A Young man called Ron wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend's
Christmas present. As they hadn't been seeing other for very long he
decided after careful consideration, that a pair of gloves would strike the
right note, not too romantic and not too personal.
He went with his girlfriends sister to Harrods and bought a dainty pair of
white fur lined gloves, the sister bought a pair of knickers (panties) for herself at
the same time.
During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up the two items, the sister
got the gloves and Ron got the knickers. Without checking Ron sealed the
package and sent it to his new girlfriend with the following letter:-
Dear Sasha,
I chose these because I've noticed that you are not
wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for your
sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons but she wears shorter
ones which are easier to remove,
These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me
the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly
soiled at all, I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in
them even though they were a little bit tight on her.
She also said that the pair rubs her ring which helps keep it clean and
shiny, in fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing
them,
I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many
other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again.
When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they
will be naturally a little damp from wearing, just think how many times my
lips will kiss them during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night.
All my love
Ron.
P.S.The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur
showing.
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methylated_spirit
Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
PM |
What's ET short for? He's only got wee legs!!
Hello, Scroto!
U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly! |
goldenface
Joined: Dec 17, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Liverpool City Centre
PM |
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Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
Woman is murdered,she is found with seamen all over her face. The police said she never saw her killer coming  Goldenface that brilliant loved that very well put too 
_________________
I Am The Walrus(goo goo g'joob)[ This Message was edited by: Bonovox on 2010-06-04 23:23 ]
[ This Message was edited by: Bonovox on 2010-06-04 23:29 ] |
mrjulius
Joined: Jun 19, 2009
Posts: > 500
From: Pleasant Hills, Manila
PM, WWW
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2 girls walking...
Girl 1 : Hey sis! your pregnant! Why not have you marry your Boyfriend?
Girl 2: His family does not want it!
Girl 1: Who has not want, father or mother?
Girl 2: none! Only his WIFE! 
Inside the Hospital
Patient: Is the services at the hospital is okey?
Doctor: Of course. Sure it was.
Patient: What if I am not satisfied?
Doctor: Hmm. We returned your sickness
Horseback Riding
Thomas: My wife is so fat, so she wanted to lose weight. She did horseback riding ...
Jorge: So What's the result?
Thomas: It Reduced Ten Kilo's The Horse only  )
[ This Message was edited by: mrjulius on 2010-06-05 02:25 ]  Xperia Arc S, AinoU10i, x10m, c902, k750i,  |
mrjulius
Joined: Jun 19, 2009
Posts: > 500
From: Pleasant Hills, Manila
PM, WWW
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Mrs. Agathe’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you the check. Oh, and by the way…don’t worry about my Doberman. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!”
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Agathe’s apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog simply laid there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.
However, the whole time the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling and name-calling.
Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”
Xperia Arc S, AinoU10i, x10m, c902, k750i, |
AbuBasim
Joined: Nov 04, 2005
Posts: > 500
PM |
Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians.
The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke."
"No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you."
While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and spat in it.
When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."
Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"
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who_am_i
Joined: May 31, 2009
Posts: 0
PM |
Politician having small penis
At a news conference, a journalist said to the politician running for the presidency, "Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis. Would you please comment on this."
"The truth is," replied the politician, "that she has a big mouth." |
goldenface
Joined: Dec 17, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Liverpool City Centre
PM |
A dating agency for chickens has been forced to close. A spokesman said "We have been struggling to make hens meet"
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who_am_i
Joined: May 31, 2009
Posts: 0
PM |
From Gynecologist to Mechanic
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out.
Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial; he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, “I don’t want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade.
“The instructor said, “During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark.
You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark.”
After a pause, the instructor added, “I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I’ve never seen done in my entire career.” |
nicv27
Joined: Oct 15, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: kent
PM |
Been watching the Gadget Show on Dave.
Really looking forward to that Mega-Drive hitting the shelves.
Samsung Galaxy S3 White iPad 2 32gb 3G +16/-0 Twitter.nicv27 |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
 Is that supposed to be a joke about The Gadget Show?????
Phone?? What phone?? |
nicv27
Joined: Oct 15, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: kent
PM |
well it got a score of over 500 on the website it came from so obviously some one liked it..........................
Samsung Galaxy S3 White iPad 2 32gb 3G +16/-0 Twitter.nicv27 |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
Oh right I don't get it 
Phone?? What phone?? | |
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Access the forum with a mobile phone via esato.mobi
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Posted: 2010-05-04 08:37
Xperia Arc S, 
