| Author |
Post Your funny Jokes Here |
who_am_i
Joined: May 31, 2009
Posts: 0
PM |
lil more of a brain teaser.. rockerrrrr
.
.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!" | |
|
Tsepz_GP
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
PM |
LMAO!! Nice one who am i  a bit of a naughty one there!
Phone: iPhone 15 Pro Max Black Ti 512GB
Tablet: iPad Pro 11” 2020 Space Gray 256GB
Watch: Series 3 Nike Edition Space Gray
Droid: Huawei Mate 40 Pro 256GB |
b.metallica
Joined: Aug 03, 2009
Posts: 0
PM |
Yesterday my friend asked me that "how old are you?" .I tought a while and i said "i can't count i am living since i was born!".
This message was posted from a WAP device |
princ3ss777
Joined: Aug 08, 2009
Posts: 0
From: London/Gibraltar
PM |
who_am_i - LOL.. good one! |
goarthur77
Joined: Apr 17, 2009
Posts: 47
PM |
Keep it coming, guys! |
AbuBasim
Joined: Nov 04, 2005
Posts: > 500
PM |
An elderly Irish gentleman named John Shawnessey is lying on his death bed, awaiting the end.
He smells the aroma of chocolate-chip cookies--his favourite.
He decides that, if he must die, he is going to die with the taste of chocolate-chip cookies
in his mouth. He slowly and painfully drags himself from his bed. With tremendous effort,
he crawls down the stairs and into the kitchen, following the delicious aroma. He enters
the kitchen, and spies a plate of chocolate chip cookies on top of the refrigerator.
Summoning the last of his strength, he claws his way up the side of the fridge and takes a cookie.
Just as he is about to put it in his mouth, his wife appears and whacks him over the head with a spoon.
"Get away from those cookies, John Shawnessey!" cries his wife. "Those are for the funeral!"
|
firoz3321
Joined: Aug 29, 2008
Posts: > 500
From: AP, INDIA
PM, WWW
|
k800i photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/firozmohammad/
My k800i stuff: http://firoz3321.4shared.com/ |
occupied
Joined: Feb 24, 2007
Posts: 99
From: Middle of Nowhere
PM |
gay's motto: having fun and be mary.
|
who_am_i
Joined: May 31, 2009
Posts: 0
PM |
perhaps the N th version of the joke that has been going around for long..
none the less.. some of you may still like it
Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy".
"So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.
At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Tiddles legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for God to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Tiddles up to heaven".
Little Lucy seemed to take her Tiddles death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this morning". Fearing something terrible had happened, the father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!"
"Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this morning I saw mommy lying on the floor with her legs in the air and she was shouting, "Oh Jesus!!! I'm coming, I'm coming!!!" and if it hadn't been for the milkman holding her down she would definitely have gone, Daddy". |
occupied
Joined: Feb 24, 2007
Posts: 99
From: Middle of Nowhere
PM |
What do you call a German protester?
Um loud. |
dougiedav
Joined: Sep 16, 2009
Posts: 5
PM |
On 2009-07-31 23:56:38, who_am_i wrote:
lil more of a brain teaser.. rockerrrrr
.
.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"
Now THAT"S hilarious! I called everyone I knew and told them this one. |
shelly58
Joined: Jun 19, 2004
Posts: 373
From: Nottingham UK
PM |
> How Fights Start
>
>
>
> My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping
> channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'
>
> I said, 'Dust.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
> My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A
> Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
>
> "No," she answered.
>
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
>
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying,
> "Yes."
>
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
>
> And then the fight started....
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
> lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
> the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind
> was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio,
> and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
>
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
> I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
> whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
>
> My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"
>
> And that's how the fight started...
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and
> slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
> just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car,
> looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"
>
> So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
>
> *****************************************
>
>
>
> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
>
> I bought her a bathroom scale.
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place
> expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station.
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
> Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
> verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
> home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
>
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
> curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
> enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
>
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
>
> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
>
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
>
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
> I understand she took to drinking right after we split up all those years ago, and I
> hear she hasn't been sober since.'
>
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order
> first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."
>
> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
>
> Nah, she can order for herself."
>
> And then the fight started...
>
>
>
> ******************************************
>
>
>
>
> A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not
> happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look
> old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
>
> The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
>
> And then the fight started.....
>
>
always look on the bright side of life...de dum..de dum..de dum..
Esato Feedback +31
PS3 ID: menalishka |
tranced
Joined: Jan 19, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Santo Domingo, wonDeRland
PM |
...
|
who_am_i
Joined: May 31, 2009
Posts: 0
PM |
i have been dreaming up an animated version of it
ever since i read it
pity!! i dont even know to use photoshop.. forget about moving animation!!
On 2009-09-16 03:03:42, dougiedav wrote:
On 2009-07-31 23:56:38, who_am_i wrote:
lil more of a brain teaser.. rockerrrrr
.
.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"
Now THAT"S hilarious! I called everyone I knew and told them this one.
|
occupied
Joined: Feb 24, 2007
Posts: 99
From: Middle of Nowhere
PM |
INDONESIA JOKE
Department of Justice = Departemen Keadilan? Secretary of Treasury = Sekretaris Perbendaharaan? Departemen Agama = Department of God. Menteri Agama = Secretary of God.
Fashion = Fesyen? Ejaculation = Ejakulesyen?
---
Nama?
Tony.
Nama Lengkap?
Auzubillah minasai Tony rojim
---
Have pun.
FOODNOTE (it's foodnote, not bootnote. don't laugh, i'm baffled!)
apparently many publications speak worse english than me. | |
|
Access the forum with a mobile phone via esato.mobi
|
Posted: 2009-07-31 23:56
jay0726 | 
