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How to stay awake at meetings |
gelfen
Joined: Nov 22, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Melbourne, Australia
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as requested, i have started putting actual jokes in the Post Your funny Jokes Here thread. i don't think this particular one falls into that category. if i'm mistaken, can a mod let me know? 
HOW TO STAY AWAKE AT MEETINGS
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x 5" is a good
size. Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That
will give you 25 one inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
- synergy
- strategic fit
- core competencies
- best practice
- bottom line
- (collective) results
- lessons learned
- 24/7
- out of the loop
- benchmark
- value-added
- capacity building
- win-win
- think outside the box
- fast track
- results-driven
- empower (or empowerment)
- knowledge base
- at the end of the day
- collaborative/team approach
- next steps
- client focus(ed)
- paradigm
- horizontality
- leverage and last but not least
- MOVING FORWARD......
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout, "BULLSHIT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "BullShit Bingo" players:
"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
-Paul D.,Caloundra
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D.,Rockhampton
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us
waited for the fifth box."
- Ben G., Sydney
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours."
- Kathleen L., Canberra
_________________
Gee, does that beat me? I only got two pair - two aces, and another two.
[ This Message was edited by: gelfen on 2003-12-12 04:32 ] | |
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701
Joined: Nov 26, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Romania
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Hahaha well, i wont b able2use it soon cuz i am on vacation already but it'll come a day;-) |
701
Joined: Nov 26, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Romania
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Hahaha well, i wont b able2use it soon cuz i am on vacation already but it'll come a day;-) |
Elrond
Joined: May 14, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Slovakia
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:lol: Wish I had know that this week. Probably I wouldn't be bored during last meeting.
This message was posted from a T300 |
amagab
Joined: Oct 29, 2002
Posts: > 500
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THE 10 TOP THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY AT A MEETING
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a f*ck.
How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ahhh, I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
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*Jojo*
Joined: Oct 15, 2003
Posts: > 500
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I always fall to sleep during meetings . . . but I am surely awake during 'matings' . . . . | |
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Access the forum with a mobile phone via esato.mobi
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Posted: 2003-12-12 04:13
