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tech support . |
*Jojo*
Joined: Oct 15, 2003
Posts: > 500
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This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
== =============
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars..
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry..Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===============
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===============
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
[addsig] |
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Yoruichi
Joined: May 10, 2007
Posts: 82
From: Many Places
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Lmao
Namo Amitabha |
*Jojo*
Joined: Oct 15, 2003
Posts: > 500
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. . . hali-mao !
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max_wedge
Joined: Aug 29, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
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Here's another funny one:
In a tech support department I once worked for, we needed a copy of the customer's backup disc. So we asked them to "send us a copy of your backup".
10 minutes later, we get a fax through. On the fax was a photocopy of a floppy disc. The customer had "sent" use a "copy" of her backup!!
Another more recent funny, one of my own customers tried to tell me that her laptop with wifi card should be able to pick up her home wifi even if she was on the other side of the country "because my internet service provider" told her it could. As it turns out, she was getting home wifi, and wireless broadband mixed up.
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*Jojo*
Joined: Oct 15, 2003
Posts: > 500
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@max - Fanny indeed mate ! When will those PEOPLE learn huh   !
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max_wedge
Joined: Aug 29, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
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Dunno mate. Fortunately it's been a while now since someone on the other end of a phone line told me "I can't click on your computer" when I asked them to "click on My Computer"
Or someone who turns the monitor off and then back on again and says "my computer is still frozen", when I had asked them to "restart the computer" after it had locked up.
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aldrinus
Joined: Jan 16, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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@jojo:
that first post really made my day!
my younger brother works in a contact center here and he often shares with me such stories. yours were also real funny... thanks, mate.
more please.
ps:
i've bookmarked it for sending later via e-mail to my brother... lol
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ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 281
PM |
Lol very funny.
Just think, in 15 years time, these simple questions and answers will be long gone as the youth of today know about all this stuff.
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Cycovision
Joined: Nov 30, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: England
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Nah, it won't stop! There's more technophobes growing up today than there are technophiles.
They're not as bad as my favourite type of customer though; the ones who 'know about computers'. They make a point of telling you that they 'know about computers' and then wrongly diagnose their own problem before telling you how to fix it.
So why not mend it yourself then if you know so bloody much about it?
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ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 281
PM |
LOL so true, I also love the ones "Ye it wasn't working right so I put windows on again"
Ok then,
"ye but there's no sound or internet and games don't work"
"Did you put your drivers on?"
"my what"
They then bring the computer round....only to find, they've now got duel boot lmao, 2 copies of windows on there and when you ask why;
"I don't know, I put windows on again but the old one is still there"
It's great fun when they turn a 30min job into a 2h job because they *fixed* it themselves.
PC World anyone
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Cycovision
Joined: Nov 30, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: England
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Oh my god, yeah! 'put windows on again', I think I'm going to have that engraved on my tombstone.
I had one once who insisted that they actually *HAD* obtained the correct drivers.
Customer:- 'I went to the nvidia site and downloaded the chipset and graphics drivers like you said but it still doesn't work properly'.
Me:- 'Did the drivers install alright? Were there any error messages?'
Customer:- 'Eh?'
Me:- 'After you downloaded the drivers, you double-clicked on them to install them, didn't you?'
Customer:- 'Errrrr....'
Me:- 'Do you know where they are?'
Customer:- 'Yeah, they're on the desktop. Thanks for that, I'll give you call if I get any other problems...'
Me:- 'Ok, good luck!'
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spikeyjac
Joined: May 30, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: west yorkshire! Mobile: w890i
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LMAO
feedback
(+10 -0)
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ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Joined: Feb 03, 2005
Posts: 281
PM |
"Thanks for that, I'll give you call if I get any other problems...' "
Don't call me, i'll call you.
Works on women anyway!
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max_wedge
Joined: Aug 29, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
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check out www.clientcopia.com and laugh your asses off!!! 
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*Jojo*
Joined: Oct 15, 2003
Posts: > 500
PM |
@aldrin - Thanks matey! Just a forwarded mail . . .
@cyco - Nice too  !
@max - link !
[addsig] |
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Posted: 2007-10-19 01:17
