| Author |
Email complain letter |
shithappens
Joined: Sep 17, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
PM |
This is an extract of an email i got from a fren in s'pore....incidentally my fren works for a mobile phone service centre and the following email haf been makin its rounds. It wuz sent in by a customer and its kinda sarcastic.....i can vouch for its genuiness as i haf know my fren for donkey years......u hafta read it to believe it:
Subject: FW: Best Rated Complain Letter!!
For the 8310 user
This is the best rated complain letter I have come across so
far...interesting features of the phone mention as well!
4 April 2002
Dear Sir/Madam
THE INTELLIGENT NOKIA 8310
I would like to commend on the fascinating features of the Nokia
8310. In all the years that I have been using mobile phones, no other
phone has given me the opportunity to take so much time-off from my work in order that I can pay your service center a visit. This routine of visiting your service center has certainly given me the chance to get acquainted with your staff.
I can even recognize them by their faces now!
My Nokia 8310 is an intelligent phone designed way ahead of its
time. Firstly, the intelligent auto-off system that Nokia has
incorporated into my phone has enabled me to look at the people in my surroundings by constantly allowing me to take my eyes off the phone to remind me that I am not living in my own electronic world.
The term "connecting people" certainly makes more sense now. Secondly, it has even got a built-in self-organizing phone book that has assisted me by erasing all the phone numbers in the phone book.
That way I do not have to erase numbers that are no longer in use.
Next, it has even provided me with a good excuse not to return missed
calls by not showing any missed calls and blocking access to the missed calls function of the phone. Last but not least, I would like to commend on the cost savings function that you have incorporated into my new motherboard.
Occasionally, the phone will restrict incoming/outgoing calls and outgoing text messages. This new added feature will definitely reduce my phone bills, as charges are applicable only to callers who send me text messages. Oh yes, it is such joy that I am able to receive text messages!
Today marks the occasion of my 7th visit to your service center in
the 5th month that I've owned the phone. That will shortly be followed by the 8th when I collect my phone. I am really looking forward to sitting in the waiting area again and looking at the nice posters that you have put up for our viewing pleasure. I do have a small request that you would put up new posters for my 9th and 10th visit which I am anticipating as it is not within your company policy to change the S$600+2 years contract lemon that I have purchased from you.
Thank you for your time in reading my mail and you can be sure
that I will do my utmost best to tell my friends about the wonderful features of my Nokia phone. I do wonder if Ericsson phones have such features; guess the only way to find out is to make my next purchase an Ericsson.
-----------------------end of email message------------------------
@moderators: i dun know!! maybe u might wanna move this to the Jokes/Garbage/Rumours section but i really had a good laugh after reading it.....
True Bravery is arriving home late after a boys' nite out, wife waiting with the broom & u ask: "Are u still cleaning or are u flying somewhere" | |
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wapchimp
Joined: Jun 09, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Land of the chimps
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poor chap - but he is right - to be fair a lot of the 8310 probs is SIM related - the software and certain profile sims cause the probs - a work colleague had a new sim the other day & all was ok - perhaps that network isn't as switched on as it should be - these probs were recognised along time ago - they should swap it for a different handset - tight bastards - if u think that letter is bad check this one - it's to a landline/cable operator here in UK:
Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your three-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem and telephone.
During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of
service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.
Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either
pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these
difficulties -- or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.
My initial installation was canceled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat a*se waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website. HOW? I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes -- an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -- such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.
Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15
telephone calls over four weeks my modem arrived .... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35% -- the hours
between about 6 pm and midnight, Monday through Friday, and most of
the weekend. I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made nine calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled boll*ck jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman, and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least
a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle moments to attend to.
Frankly I don't care. It's far more satisfying as a customer to voice
my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue. I thought British Telecom was sh*t; that they had attained the holy p*ss-pot of god-awful customer relations; and that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?
How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable
dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower b*stards you
truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum
incompetents of the highest order.
BT -- w*nkers though they are -- shine like brilliant beacons of
success, in the filthy mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you.
I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort
payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and
catastrophically failed to deliver. Any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief -- quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cat's litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit -- they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.
Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day. May it be the last in your miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.
Love
Reginald Rottingsquid ESQ.
[addsig] |
shithappens
Joined: Sep 17, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
PM |
@ orangeman: OUCH!!! now that's certainly one irate customer.....
True Bravery is arriving home late after a boys' nite out, wife waiting with the broom & u ask: "Are u still cleaning or are u flying somewhere" |
wapchimp
Joined: Jun 09, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Land of the chimps
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yep - one rather pissed jordie
[addsig] |
nookiehunter
Joined: Aug 04, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: My I-Mate JasJar
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thats it?
I Came...
I Saw...
I Kicked Ass... |
swazi
Joined: Oct 07, 2002
Posts: 499
From: Swazi in Bahrain
PM |
Wouldnt like to be his service provider. lol
Email ecollyer@consultant.com
8810 + 7650 + SE T630*HBh-65, i know waiting for P900 to come down in price |
Andy.
Joined: Apr 27, 2002
Posts: > 500
PM |
Sorry but thats a glasscock
This post was posted from a T68i |
wapchimp
Joined: Jun 09, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Land of the chimps
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glasscock???
This post was posted from a WAP device |
Andy.
Joined: Apr 27, 2002
Posts: > 500
PM |
A glasscock is something that has been posted before or an annoying email that you have seen before . See b3ta.com for details
This post was posted from a T68i |
wapchimp
Joined: Jun 09, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Land of the chimps
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no-one else seems to have seen it before - I didn't until it was sent to me.
[addsig] |
ShibbyLicious
Joined: Jul 25, 2002
Posts: 290
From: UK
PM |
neva heard term glasscock b4 but it is true that was sent round the offices here a while back 
still a good read though 
shibby |
pofromchgo
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Posts: 59
From: chicago! DUH!!!
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I'm sure there are irate customers for each and every phone company! I have had alot of problems with my t68i phone, starting with poor gsm reception from at&t, then my first t68I phone had dust under my screen, the first replacement phone i got, had a defective toggle switch on the right side of my phone, the second replacement phone had a bad microphone, the third replacement phone had a sticky key, and the forth replacement phone had a broken internal attenae, I finally got a decent working phone from customer service 2 months later after i first complained and sent them back my first phone!
I was told that after your first month all phone that are sent to you to replace your phone are refurbished phones!! Isnt that crap? we spend good money on a phone and if it breaks down I should get a new one, not a phone that is reconditioned! |
wapchimp
Joined: Jun 09, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Land of the chimps
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Thats the same here-u get a brand new one within 28days of conection-then recoditioned after-it should say that in ur terms and conditions-even some manufacterers do this if u go back to them
This post was posted from a T68i | |
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Access the forum with a mobile phone via esato.mobi
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Posted: 2002-11-13 11:14
