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scotsboyuk's Guide to Outraged Posting |
scotsboyuk
Joined: Jun 02, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: UK
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There have been a few outraged posts on Esato lately so I thought it was time we had a guide on how make such posts.
The seasoned outraged poster will of course have his or her own pet causes to become outarged about, but some of you may not so I have included a list of possible topics to become outraged at below. This is not a definitive list, but if something you feel is important is missing from it then please feel to become outraged about that.
Israeli-Palestinian Conflict (Please choose one side only! One can become far more outraged when one doesn't do something silly like examine the situation from both sides.)
The Iraq War (A lack of understanding about the situation in Iraq as well as a strong anti-American bias will help you achieve maximum outrage levels with this one.)
Iranian Nuclear Situation (A general lack of knowledge about international affairs and the specifics of this situation will ensure outrage levels are increased. Whilst an anti-American bias will be helpful here you could also use a more general anti-Western bias, which should still help you push up those outrage levels.)
The War On Terror (Please be advised that any form of objectivity in relation to international affairs and American foriegn policy in particular will likely severely inhibit your potential for outrage with this topic.)
The Danish Cartoons (A bit of an old one now, but it still has good outrage potential. A hypocritical attitude towards freedom of speech or a lack of understanding of the concept will be a huge bonus when becoming outraged over this issue.)
When you have chosen your topic there are some Do's and Dont's for a successful outraged post:
Don't tie yourself to facts
Don't look at an issue objectively
Don't consider for a second that you may be wrong
Don't listen to anyone who tries to speak reason, they will reduce your outrage
Don't accept another's argument even if it is concrete
Don't go anywhere near a well researched and written history book or news article
Do jump to conclusions
Do make wild assumptions, the wilder the better for maximum outrage
Do use conflicting arguments
Do ignore calls for evidence to support your views
Do make use of conspiracies, these are a very useful tool for the professionally outraged
Do employ a victim mentality, again it's a very useful tool for really stoking those outraged fires
You should now be ready to make your first outraged post, but before you do please remember these important points:
Try to avoid using any objective sources for research, better yet don't research your topic at all! Try to make your post as irrational as possible to impart an even more outraged feel to it. A more advanced technique that you might like to use after some practice is to make your post incoherent.
Troubleshooting
Q. Someone has replied with a reasoned and well thought out argument, what should I do?
A. These people are particularly bothersome because they don't seem to have any capacity to be outraged over biased and half-understood issues. The best thing to do if one of these rotters rears his ugly head is to simply ignore him; just carry on being outraged and hopefully he will stop posting. An advanced tactic for the more skilled outraged poster is to become outraged at the person making the reasoned argument.
Q. I have been making outraged posts on a particular topic recently, but the cause I'm defending has done something that is outrageous, should I make an outraged post directed at them?
A. No. Doing so would mean that you are verging on being fair to both sides and that is a sure fire way of diminishing outrage. There is a simple trick for dealing with such situations though; just ignore it! Remember that you are being outraged for a cause and if the side you are defending does something wrong that means fewer chances for you to make more outraged posts defending them!
Q. I've run out things to be outraged about, what should I do?
A. Make something up! For instance, you could take two exisiting topics and merge them together. Here's an example for you: Climate Change and the Danish Cartoons - the publishing of those cartoons required paper, which required trees to be cut down thus reducing the world's capacity to sink carbon through forests. Hence you can become outraged at Denmark for furthering climate change. There we have it, a brand new topic to outrage you!
_________________
"I may be drunk my dear woman, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly." WSC
[ This Message was edited by: scotsboyuk on 2006-05-02 19:11 ] |
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absinthebri
Joined: Feb 11, 2004
Posts: 476
From: London, UK
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Do you EVER spell-check?  |
scotsboyuk
Joined: Jun 02, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: UK
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@absin
I was too outraged! 
_________________
"I may be drunk my dear woman, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly." WSC
[ This Message was edited by: scotsboyuk on 2006-05-02 19:11 ] |
absinthebri
Joined: Feb 11, 2004
Posts: 476
From: London, UK
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I'm outraged for you, too.
Q. Can you give me advice, wise one? What if I have no principled position on a particular topic but I decide to take a view JUST because someone I don't like holds the opposing view. Should I affect outrage for effect, or am I merely a troll? |
axxxr
Joined: Mar 21, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Londinium
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scotsboyuk i presume all of the above makes me an expert!
[addsig] |
scotsboyuk
Joined: Jun 02, 2003
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From: UK
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Quote:
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On 2006-05-02 20:13:45, absinthebri wrote:
I'm outraged for you, too.
Q. Can you give me advice, wise one? What if I have no principled position on a particular topic but I decide to take a view JUST because someone I don't like holds the opposing view. Should I affect outrage for effect, or am I merely a troll?
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A. There are a few of things you could do here:
Make up a position! This is a nice quick method for getting into outraged posting. This really only works though if you either have little or no understanding of the facts surrounding an issue or are able to ignore the facts if you do know them.
Another possibility is to simply join the other person in their outrage but make your posts even more outraged. This can be tricky because you will have to include as much wild opinionating and as many irrational arguments as you can.
You could always go for an easier route though. You can make an outraged post based on semi-rational arguments. This is a good introduction for the n00b outraged poster who is new to making wild accusations and viewing events through blinkers.
"I may be drunk my dear woman, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly." WSC |
scotsboyuk
Joined: Jun 02, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: UK
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@axxxr
I should have invested in that factory producing aviation goggles for pigs because I do believe we agree.
"I may be drunk my dear woman, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly." WSC |
absinthebri
Joined: Feb 11, 2004
Posts: 476
From: London, UK
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Thank you for your response.
I note that some of the more experienced outraged posters here do not even attempt to back up their positions with anything remotely resembling a reasoned argument or facts. I'd be to ashamed to open myself up to ridicule like that. How can I develop a thicker skin? |
scotsboyuk
Joined: Jun 02, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: UK
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@absin
The seasoned outraged poster uses the slings and arrows levelled at him to become even more outraged. In time, and with enough practice, you should be able to become outraged at just the slightest hint of someone not fully supporting your views.
"I may be drunk my dear woman, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly." WSC |
axxxr
Joined: Mar 21, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Londinium
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scotsboyuk I love your views on \"Outraged Posting\"...i'm already outraged that i did'nt think of this first! 
[addsig] |
Sammy_boy
Joined: Mar 31, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Staffordshire, United Kingdom
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Great post and thread! I'll have to read it properly when I get home and should not be on the work computer when I should be working!
"All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing" - Edmund Burke
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JK
Joined: Feb 24, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: S. Africa - JOZI
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What about nit picking?? |
Debu
Joined: Jan 15, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Colchester, UK
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Blasphemy!!!! 
Us outraged posters are being targeted! We are victims to Slander and Common Sense. Death to Scotsboyuk. Pick up you torches and AK's.
Did you know that Scotsboyuk here, is not what he really seems, It appears he is somehow allied with the infedel Americans, my sources lead me to believe he is infact, none other then BUSH himself, yes it is him, the anti-christ, the son of you-know-who himself, the most evil and foul thing that ever besmirched the face of the planet! And it seems that he thinks valid arguments will turn us away. Never! Death to the infedel.
Ps. Shouldn't this be in Garbage?
Visit My Blog : Debu's Innovations'When nine hundred years old you will be, look as good, you will not' - Yoda |
goldenface
Joined: Dec 17, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Liverpool City Centre
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I wish I could be so outraged! I feel jealous of all these outraged people. Can I please join your masterclass, pleeaaaase!!
I promise to bring new outraged subjects to the classes |
absinthebri
Joined: Feb 11, 2004
Posts: 476
From: London, UK
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Quote:
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On 2006-05-03 14:48:26, goldenface wrote:
I promise to bring new outraged subjects to the classes
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Let's see what you've got then.
[addsig] |
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Posted: 2006-05-02 20:03
