Osama Bin Laden Threatens To Shave Beard

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Osama Bin Laden Threatens To Shave Beard

axxxr

Joined: Mar 21, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Londinium
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Posted: 2006-04-25 10:42

This image shows what Osama bin Laden may look like if he follows through on this threat to shave off his beard.

Al-Qaeda terrorist leader Osama bin Laden issued ominous new threats Sunday, threatening to shave off his beard unless enough money is raised to continue his militant Islamic mission against the Zionist Crusaders of the West.

Osama Bin Laden, in an audiotaped messaged, reportedly announced that he will elimitate all the hair on his radical Islamist face unless he receives sufficient funds that can be used for al-Qaeda's charitable needs, such as the promotion of hatred of the infidel, the purchasing of purifying weapons, and the elimination of the Israeli state.

The fugitive al-Qaeda leader has reportedly not shaven since he escaped Afghanistan in 2001. Some al-Qaeda experts estimate the growth to be up to 9 inches in length at the chin.

In the taped broadcast sent to the Al-Jazeera satellite channel, Osama used this latest opportunity to communicate his Jihadist message of cutting, clipping, and shaving.

"By the grace of God, I will cleanse my face of hair, whiskers, and stubble to fight against the oppressive tyrannical superpowers," said bin Laden. "Let the West know that I am willing to sacrifice my good looks for the good of Islam."

Osama bin Laden hopes his latest message reaches his target and that his Arab and Muslim brethren will open up their wallets, coin purses, and velvet money bags.

"I call on Mujahedin and their supporters, especially in Sudan and the Arab peninsula to send in their pledges," said bin Laden. "I challenge the leaders of Hamas to match the donations of the Taliban. I want to see the Northern Alliance pull out their checkbooks! If these monetary goals are not met, by Allah, I swear my beard will be cut, like the Western funds to the new Palestinian government."

Pakistani intelligence officials doubt the word of Osama bin Laden, saying that the message is nothing more than militant propaganda, and that bin Laden would likely reneg on the offer, and at most trim his beard to a managable, yet still stylish length.

Meanwhile, American officials are quickly denouncing the face-shaving threat.

"We will not submit to this terrorist's fundraising schemes, said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. "We wouldn't pay him 5 dinars to shave his ball sack."

Previous rumours had suggested that Bin Laden would shave his beard in exchange for a truce with the West, but those were quickly denied.

"Not by the hair of my chinny-chin chin!" shouted a defiant Osama bin Laden [addsig]

JiggyJaggy

Joined: May 21, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: London, UK
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Posted: 2006-04-25 10:50

I dont get what shaving his beard off will do to aid the Al-Qaeda movement?

Im suprised Bush doesnt send him a Mac3 and some Gilette! No joke intended but this confuses me.

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axxxr

Joined: Mar 21, 2003
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From: Londinium
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Posted: 2006-04-25 10:54

JiggyJaggy i hope your not taking this seriously?

[addsig]

Debu

Joined: Jan 15, 2003
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From: Colchester, UK
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Posted: 2006-04-25 11:27

Visit My Blog : Debu's Innovations

'When nine hundred years old you will be, look as good, you will not' - Yoda

Sammy_boy

Joined: Mar 31, 2004
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From: Staffordshire, United Kingdom
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Posted: 2006-04-25 17:06

Well if the worst we can fear is a loss of facial hair from Osama and an increase in Gilette's share price then we can call off the war in Iraq!

"All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing" - Edmund Burke

EastCoastStar

Joined: Dec 07, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: orlando fl US
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Posted: 2006-04-25 18:13

can you imagine now many Gillette razors it would take to shave osamas beard?!? hahaha!

Its good to be back!

kk.226

Joined: Nov 04, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: London
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Posted: 2006-04-25 18:33

He's asking a bit much though right?

I wouldn't even imagine getting a fiver for shaving mine...

Pretty sure making a terrorist threat is more likely to get him what he wants then shaving his beard, harldy causing chaos is it?

leeboy13

Joined: Sep 28, 2005
Posts: > 500
From: Brissle - dodgy accients
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Posted: 2006-04-25 19:40

Quote:

"We will not submit to this terrorist's fundraising schemes, said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. "We wouldn't pay him 5 dinars to shave his ball sack."

funniest line of the day!!!!!