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Story: Eric the schmuck ... |
Vlammetje
Joined: Mar 01, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Den Haag
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Now, a way to get of this roof. He turns away from the alley, hopefully this was the sight he'd ever cast on Cheri!!
He walks over to the other end of the roof and notices there is only a small gap to the next one. 'Just like in movies' he thought while jumping over. After crossing the second roof as well, he looked down for a way to get back to the street again. No fire escape this time, so he had to use his imagination.
The only way off of this roof seems to be the open windy a few feet down. 'Can I make it? Is it safe? Won't I hurt my baby?' All these things went through Eric's mind, but there was no other way.
So he ran, leeped...and swung himself right thru the open window.
He looked around....
This was a dominatrix's bedroom!
[ This Message was edited by: Vlammetje on 2003-04-08 20:34 ] | |
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cyanx7
Joined: Jan 02, 2003
Posts: 228
From: Porto, Portugal
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"GET OVER HERE U DANCING QUEER PIECE OF SHIT!!!" said the shemale that judjed the contest (the one that looked like she came out of Xena-the warrior princess show)... she took out a sword and ran after eric screaming obscenities... eric was freightened...
"she did give me a strange look back in the dance contest", eric thought. He got out of the appartment, ran like hell through the hallways, with "Xena" behind him...
"Xena" was gaining on him... So eric stopped and screamed pointing at an appartment's open door and yanking his own hair: "oh my god - IT'S FABIAN AND HE'S NAKED!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
"Xena" stopped, stared at eric and immediatly ran into the appartment yelling: "FABIAN!!! AT LAST WE MEET BAAAABYYYY!!!"
Eric immediatly locked the appartment door and ran away towards the elevator, he proceeded down to the exit in the building elevator... inside he still heard "Xena" crying "OH, FAAAAAABIAAAN!!! COME HERE U HUNK... WHY IS THE F*CKIN DOOR LOCKED? THAT FAGGOT TRICKED ME!!!! AAAAAAAAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Eric swallowed hard... he was out of that tight spot... "Xena" looked sexy, and all but she sounded too violent for his own taste...
then he realised in despair... "oh jeeezus... how can i be soooo stooopid!!!
that bearded cunt must be allready be expecting ME down there!!!..."
he desperatly tries to push another floor button... but it was useless...
too late... Cherie opens the elevator door with a mean look on he's face... There was no escape...
Breeding violently, cherie grasps 4 eric's shirt and grabs him by the neck... He pushes eric towards himself, and then lifts him up in a way that eric's feet lift from the ground...
"YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!! HE'S MINE!!!! I'LL KILL YOU, U WORTHLESS BITCH... I WANT HIM!!!", Cherie shouts, nose to nose to eric.
"what the f*ck are u talking about u schmuck?!?!?", eric replies nervously.
"huh... i thought u were the schmuck...", Cherie answered with a surprised look, still holding eric brutaly above the ground..."
"oh! u're right! sorry... (paused) - what the f*ck are u talking about u dork?!?!?", eric replies again, more nervously then before...
"why are u calling me a dork! that's not nice!", said Cherie with a hurt look.
"i'm sorry... (paused again...) - would u settle 4 bullie, then?..."
"bullie would be allright i guess... i'm kind of bullying u... it's ok..."
"ok then... what the f*ck are u talking about u big bad bully?!?!?"
"why big and bad? couldn't it just be bullie? why did u say it with a 'Y'? just bullie with 'IE', if u don't mind...!"
"Oh... cut the crap, put me on the floor and explain all this to me, will you!!!", eric said with a tired look... Cherie released him and started sobbing.
"it's FIJBERT!!! i love him... he can't be u're fluffer... u have to choose somebody else... i'm jealous!!! how could u do this to me? i thought we were friends...", cryed cherie.
"lighten up guy!!! i gave up on the film... seems health concerns are not a 'priority' to bernardette... and with me bearing a child in my stomach... i can't do it! u do me a favour and tell her i quit... hmmm... a gay punk like u wouldn't have any idea on how a dancing queen like me could make some cool money, now would u?" eric asked.
"if that's the case... if u're leaving FIJBERT alone... i'll help u! but u must PROMISE u will leave that hunk of a man for Cherie here!"
"i promise. u can keep him... as a matter of fact he's all yours... bernardette told me he was straight anyway... straight guys are boring... so limited! but let's talk business: what do u have in mind, hair face?"
Cherie smiled like a child... "u're gonna like the idea... "
_________________
The garbage man is happy as a young maiden losing virginity... 
I GOTTA GARBAGE THREAD WITH MY NAME ON IT! YEAH! 
Shithappens just became my blood brother and Bjerkebanen my blood sister... 
[ This Message was edited by: cyanx7 on 2003-04-08 21:00 ] |
wrecked_porsche
Joined: Jul 01, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: I'm not telling u !
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Cherie then said " Follow me, I know this  factory where U could work part time for peanuts. " But Eric said, " No way man, I wanna work for a brick producing company, lke what's its name again ... ? "
_________________
 www.geocities.com/sanjeevjaya
makes me 
I got the T300 with hard earned $$
2 months later comes the T310 which is
cheaper and better !
Why I oughta 
Nokia here I come
[ This Message was edited by: sanjeevjaya on 2003-04-09 15:43 ] |
Scythe
Joined: Oct 02, 2002
Posts: 124
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Ey Vlamm, since you and cyan must have made a conclusion to the unfinished story at the same time, why don't you write something about the dominatrix's room bit here again...pleeaaaaaaaase *begging*  |
cyanx7
Joined: Jan 02, 2003
Posts: 228
From: Porto, Portugal
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we posted at the same time... V's post landed first, so i altered mine to fit hers...
Eric can meet Xena again!!! 
invent u're way into that... it's simple...
she's allready pissed off with the guy... so they are bound to meet, beeing members of the gay communitie of montreal, and all that...
simply put him in a situation where he's found by the blood thisty xena... it's up to u... after responding to jbendaos posts 4 two hours, my immagination is in a coma... |
Vlammetje
Joined: Mar 01, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Den Haag
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@Scythe, I am desperate for inspiration!! I'll try tomorrow OK
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wrecked_porsche
Joined: Jul 01, 2002
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From: I'm not telling u !
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Then Eric says to Cherie, "I gotta get on the next plane to Finland ! My dream is to work for Blokia !"
But before he could say "Jack Robinson" Kimi Raikonen drives up in his UGLY Mclarren ! Eric's eyes almost pop out when he sees this. 'Wow, talk about luck !' he thinks to himself...
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.  I  Nokia N95 8GB and N82 |
shithappens
Joined: Sep 17, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
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nevermind!!! eric thinks...it cud be far worst.....it cud be a ferrari with shumacher in it......maybe not...then he cud show him a thing or too.......he smiles gleefully while despatching the droplet of saliva from the corner of his mouth..........
True Bravery is arriving home late after a boys' nite out, wife waiting with the broom & u ask: "Are u still cleaning or are u flying somewhere" |
wrecked_porsche
Joined: Jul 01, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: I'm not telling u !
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The UGLY Mclaren disintegrates and falls appart right in front of cherie and Eric ! Cherie laughs at Kimmi and says " Hahahaha... My Harley is way better than your trash you just drove up in ! You little brat of a 'driver' you ! " All of a sudden, Eric starts to cry...
In the distance, there was the war cry of the xenna wanna be ... It was getting louder and louder ...
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I Nokia N95 8GB and N82 |
shithappens
Joined: Sep 17, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
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eric then ponders.......maybe it's not so bad after all......his cried coz he din get to meet shumacher in person...the worthless pile of nuts and bolts called a ferrari din even make it outta the garage.......as usual.......but nevermind...life goes on.....
True Bravery is arriving home late after a boys' nite out, wife waiting with the broom & u ask: "Are u still cleaning or are u flying somewhere" |
hill33fan
Joined: Mar 30, 2003
Posts: 4
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when suddenly, out of a darkness a mysterious man emerges. he silently and swiftly worked on the pile of nuts and bolts left in the garage. using only the things he found in the garage, he is able to painstakingly put the thing back together until, just a few minutes later, the ferrari is back together! sure it was held together by pieces of garden hose, electric tape, and used parts from a discraded lawnmower, but it was running and purring like a jungle cat ready to pounce. eric could not help but break out with a wide grin. as the mysterious man turned to leave, eric had to ask "who are you?" the stranger faces eric, his intense eyes turning into slits and anwered "McGyver".
Eric, astonishly asks "McGyver?" and the strangers says "yes, Menemis Mcgyver"
as the stranger disappears back into the darkness, eric wonders out loud "so thats his first name...Menemis"
when suddenly in the distance, he hears a loud and painful shriek..... |
cyanx7
Joined: Jan 02, 2003
Posts: 228
From: Porto, Portugal
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Xena the violent shemale had just shoved her sword up Michael Schumachers ass!!! The pilot screamed with pain!!! Next, she ripped out Schumie's genitals and ate them with pleasure!!! The world champion fell to the ground, inanimated by pain!!!!
Xena turned to Kimmi, Cherie and Eric and whispered: "I never liked this guy since the moment he said that 'accidents happen' when Ayrton Senna died!!! U CUNTS ARE NEXT!!!", she growled while she removed the sword out of Schumachers ass... Kimmi Raikonen turned to Eric and Cherie and asked: "Quick!!! I can be World Champion now!!!! Where's your car?!?!?!?!"
Xena started cleaning the scatered blood that layed in the blade of her sword with her tongue... She gazed at the three men sadisticly...
Eric screamed in despair: "We haven't got a car... only cherie's bike!!! we're dead!!! and so is the poor child i carry in my stomach!!!"
"And it doesn't carry 3 people!!! only 2... so i'm out of here!!! i have to live to love FIJBERT!!! good luck u guys!!!" Cherie added, while running cowardly towards his harley... Xena saw it... she took a big black dildo in the shape of a boomerang and threw it in Cherie's direction!!! With a loud "SMACK!" it hitted the gay biker in the back of the head!!! Cherie fell like a sack of potatoes... Kimmi runned over to him to try to feel his pulse and announced with panic: "he's dead!..."
Eric screamed: "oh my god, u killed Kenny!... u BASTARD!!!", took the black dildo in his hand and throwed it with all his might at Xena... "CLACK..."
The shemale caught the dildo weapon with her teeth!!!
"U'rs is next, dance queen!", she said with a hateful laugh...
"WE'RE FOOKED!!! let's flee in Cheries bike! - u drive kimmi!! - i don't have a licence!!!"
Kimmi answered... "i don't have a licence too!!! I ONLY DRIVE CARS, U KNOW!... (waittaminute... didn't u just say the biker's name was Kenny?)"...
"forget that! i watched too much TV before dying!!!", Eric stated...
"But u're not dead yet...?", kimmi questioned, with a troubled look...
"oh... but i'm gonna be soon... SHE'S WALKING THIS WAY!!!", Eric shouted in complete panic...
Suddenly a black sports car with red flashing lights came around the corner, tires screeching, with "walk this way" (Aerosmith + Run DMC version) playing surprisingly loud in the radio... The driver shouted: "do u like this song too?! well, hop in, i'll give you guys a lift if u sing along with me!!!"
Kimmi and eric didn't dwell on it as Xena aproached, and immediatly entered the car... The black car screeched suddenly leaving the hollering Xena far behind...
The driver introduced himself, glancing at eric: "HI! i'm MICHAEL KNIGHT, and this is my car KITT! Do u cuties come here often?..."
The garbage man is happy as a young maiden losing virginity...  I GOTTA GARBAGE THREAD WITH MY NAME ON IT! YEAH!  Shithappens just became my blood brother and Bjerkebanen my blood sister...  |
Vlammetje
Joined: Mar 01, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Den Haag
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All snuggled inside the black car curiously called Kitt, they left the scene and Xena behind.
Kitt RACED out of the town of Montreal, onto a deserted highway to middle Canada. As they raced on, a dot appeared at the horizon.
After a few minutes, Eric was able to make out the shape of a large truk driving in front of them. Kitt was heading straigh at it.
'What R U doin' Knight??' squealed Eric, as they came nearer and nearer to the truck. 'U gonna hit that thing!' 'Watch out man!' 'I ain't ready to die!'
The back side of the truck was open and ready for them. With an evil smile, Michael Knight said: 'Step into my office cuties'
They drove straight into the truck, and the truck back doors closed right behind them.
'U R all MINE now' said a deep voice behind them....
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shithappens
Joined: Sep 17, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
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*clap-clap-clap*
all hail cyanx7... i laughed so hard my work mates tot i've gone nuts or something....luckily me boss is not in yet
oh boy!!!! u guys are so good at it.........
now take that ferrari and sanjeev
True Bravery is arriving home late after a boys' nite out, wife waiting with the broom & u ask: "Are u still cleaning or are u flying somewhere" |
Scythe
Joined: Oct 02, 2002
Posts: 124
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'U R all MINE now' said a deep voice behind them.... "NOW, What?" Eric thought. The room they went into was more like a motel room, dimly lit with low-voltaged halogens onthe corner ceiling. The "office" has a heart shaped revolving waterbed for it's center-piece (think Austin Powers) with with a red silk sheet snugly placed over some red satin lined comforter. Sex, sex, and more sex...shag me BABY is definitely what this Michael had in mind when he designed this room. Kimmi and Eric just stood there, Eric half expecting for Kimmy to be petrified with fear of what in Isis' name he got himself into (first the car, then this???).
With Bon Voyage's Kiss My Lips track humming on the background, Micheal starts to strip...
Come on baby kiss my lips
Love me like I want you to
Then Kimmy strips to the sensual beat of the song.
Keep me up all night
If you make it right
Eric then gently fumbles through his jean's buttons, undoing one, then the other, then another all the while keeping his eyes glued onto the two guys before him.
Come on baby kiss my lips
Come on baby kiss
Come on baby kiss my lips come on
With nothing on except their boxers, they just stood there, as though waiting for some signal or sumthin. As the song reaches it's crescendo, Michael shouts, "NOW!" then the three kids jumped on the bed...and jumped...and jumped...higher...and harder...and faster. "Isn't this so much FUN," says Kimmy. "Faster guys, jump harder til this waterbed burst, then THAT would be fun," ordered the chuckling Michael to which the two morons happily complied. They felt they never had so much fun their entire life!
Outside the locked "office," the A.I. running the mobile installation started getting a radar blip while doing surface scans on the freeway landscape over a 2-mile long radius while screams of joy and laughter come through muffled from the closed room... | |
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Posted: 2003-04-08 21:30
Nokia N95 8GB and N82
