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Post Your funny Jokes Here |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
Them scouse jokes were from a mate of mine
Phone?? What phone?? |
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AbnerJack
Joined: Mar 28, 2011
Posts: 0
PM |
Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-revenue family members is exactly where yo daddy has two jobs.Yo mama so lazy she's received a remote control just to run her remote!Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon. |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
My dog went missing last week. I have been looking everywhere for him. The Mrs told me I should look harder. So I shaved my head and got a few tattoos but I still can't find the flipping dog!!
Phone?? What phone?? |
michka
Joined: May 17, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Brussels-Belgium
PM |
A blonde is walking on the pavement. Then she sees a banana skin, and shouts: Oh shit I will fall again. 
Pedestrian: don't run, my car is faster anyway. |
nicv27
Joined: Oct 15, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: kent
PM |
My son had his first swimming lesson yesterday and came home with a 10 meter badge.I said, "Bloody hell, couldn't they give you something smaller?"
Did you know it takes 40 pigs to make 3,000 sausages?It's amazing what you can teach them
[ This Message was edited by: nicv27 on 2011-04-14 22:04 ] Samsung Galaxy S3 White iPad 2 32gb 3G +16/-0 Twitter.nicv27 |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
 I fell out with my neighbours pig. So to clear the air I suggested a game of tennis. He said he was too tired. So I suggested a game of backgammon & he ran off squealing
Phone?? What phone?? |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
Prince William says he does not want the traditional fruitcake at his wedding. Prince Philip has replied by saying he does not give a damn & is still going 
Phone?? What phone?? |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
TEXTING FOR SENIORS:
The kids have all their little SMS codes....like BFF,TTYL,LOL etc. So here are the codes for the seniors:
ATD-At The Doctors
BFF-Best Friends Funeral
BTW-Bring The Wheelchair
FWIW-Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL-Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA-Got Heartburn Again
HGBM-Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO-Is My Hearing Aid On??
TTYL-Talk To You Louder
WAITT-Who Am I Texting??
GGLKI-Gotta Go Laxative Kicking In
[ This Message was edited by: Bonovox on 2011-07-13 19:58 ] Phone?? What phone?? |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
5000 men surveyed were asked why they like blow jobs
1% liked the warmth
2% liked the sensation
3% liked the eroticism
94% just liked the peace & quiet 
[ This Message was edited by: Bonovox on 2011-07-17 18:12 ] Phone?? What phone?? |
ceaser2008
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Posts: > 500
From: Surat, India
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Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
I love to pamper my girlfriend after she's had a stressful day at work. I get her to text me when she is leaving so I can get the hot tap running,swirl around the foam & bubbles & time everything perfectly,so that when she walks through the door,the dishes are piled up & waiting for her
[ This Message was edited by: Bonovox on 2011-07-19 22:33 ] Phone?? What phone?? |
Bonovox
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Posts: > 500
PM |
Just after my wife had given birth,I asked the doctor "how soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
He winked at me & said, "I'm off duty in ten minutes-meet me in the car park"
Phone?? What phone?? |
ceaser2008
Joined: Jul 14, 2008
Posts: > 500
From: Surat, India
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Charlie5
Joined: Jul 13, 2011
Posts: 0
From: esato
PM, WWW
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Q: What do you call an afganistan virgin ? A: Osama mever bin laid on . |
Charlie5
Joined: Jul 13, 2011
Posts: 0
From: esato
PM, WWW
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Q:Hw do you tell if a chick is too fat 2 f**k ?
A: When you pull her pants down her ass is still in them. |
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Posted: 2011-03-26 16:21
