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Post Your funny Jokes Here |
arien617
Joined: Feb 01, 2006
Posts: > 500
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Ahhh that's awful C***n!
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fatreg
Joined: Jul 26, 2003
Posts: > 500
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but funny Arien!
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect"
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jcwhite_uk
Joined: Feb 18, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Dorset, UK Phone:Xperia Z1
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Quote:
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On 2008-07-20 17:44:12, fatreg wrote:
A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment".
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect"
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You listen to wave 105 as well! |
fatreg
Joined: Jul 26, 2003
Posts: > 500
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ermm no, I stole it from another site....
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Cycovision
Joined: Nov 30, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: England
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@reg
A site that rhymes with "Peter" by any chance? 
Two tramps are walking down the road...
"Hey, mick!" says the first tramp. "There's a pile of shit down there!"
"Nah, that's not shit." says Mick.
So the first tramp picks it up and rubs a small piece between his fingers.
"Feels like shit?", he says.
"Nah, it's not shit" says Mick.
So he takes a good, deep sniff and says: "Smells like shit?"
"It's not shit!" says mick.
So he takes a small bite and swills it around his mouth.
"Tastes like shit?" He says.
At which point Mick grabs it out of his hand, squishes it around, smells it, and places a bit in his mouth.
"My god!" exclaims Mick. "You're right! It is shit! Good job we didn't step in it..."
[ This Message was edited by: Cycovision on 2008-07-20 17:16 ] |
fatreg
Joined: Jul 26, 2003
Posts: > 500
PM |
lovely cyco!
I'm still having sex at 87.
It's only across the road from us at number 84, but my wife still doesn't notice.
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pmerryman
Joined: Jun 02, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Oldham,Uk
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FemaleCompassion at it's BEST!
Barry returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his
wife, Carolyn, that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live.
Wiping away her tears, he asked her to make love with him.
Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.
Six hours later, Barry went to her again, and said,
'Honey, now I only have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we
could make love again?' Carolyn agreed and again they made love.
Later, Barry was getting into bed when he realized he now
had only eight hours of life left. He touched Carolyn's shoulder
and said, 'Honey? Please? Just one more time before I die.' She
agreed, then afterward she rolled over and fell asleep.
Barry, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and
he tossed and turned until he was down to only four more hours.
He tapped his wife on the shoulder to wake her up.
'Honey, I only have four hours left! Could we...?'
His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, 'Listen
Barry, I'm not being funny ...but I have to get up in the morning and you
don't.
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Caspa
Joined: Nov 28, 2001
Posts: > 500
From: London, UK.
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HornyNick
Joined: Mar 09, 2008
Posts: 77
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A couple are makng love one afternoon when their 7yo son walks in on them.
His dad laughs, throws a pillow at him and tells him to get lost.
Later that afternoon the dad walks past his sons bedroom and hears moaning, so he goes in to see whats happening.
He is horrified to find his son having sex with his grandma.
The son turns, looks at his dad and says "See, its not so nice funny when its your mother is it?" |
fatreg
Joined: Jul 26, 2003
Posts: > 500
PM |
For my wife's last birthday I paid for her to have 10 sessions with a personal trainer.
Now when I say "heel!" she does as she's told.
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fatreg
Joined: Jul 26, 2003
Posts: > 500
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I'm very proud of my Grandfather. He shot down two German planes. Admittedly that was in 1972 but you can never be too careful.
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fatreg
Joined: Jul 26, 2003
Posts: > 500
PM |
I find women are like lava lamps...
Very pretty to look at, just not very bright
/hides from Wifey..........
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procterdc
Joined: Jun 03, 2005
Posts: 334
From: Lytham St.Annes
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You're playin with fire reggie lol
It ain't about how hard you hit, its about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward - Rocky Balboa |
thomas93
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Posts: 444
PM |
LMAO.
Lol good ones.
_________________
(+8 -0) --Thomas--
K850i,BB 8800, N82,N95,N70,iPhone,PSP,Nano
Addicted to my Crackberry And I'm High from EEE  Me like Apple Pie (Phone)
[ This Message was edited by: thomas93 on 2008-07-25 15:35 ] |
Twometre
Joined: May 12, 2007
Posts: > 500
From: Manzini, Swaziland
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One day Dr Nelson Manndela, former South African president went to see patients in a phsycratic hospita.
He was late and the whole delagation was witing for him such that His welcome speech was as short as possible.
He went from domitre to domitre greeting all the patients.
Then when he was done he saw another man sitting at a distance on his own and he went to greet him because he assumed he was now ready to go home.
"Hi Sir," said Manndela stretching out his hand for a shake.
The man just frounned and look at him and said
"What is your name Sir,"
"Iam Dr. Nelson Manndela." answered Manndela
The man looked at him in great dissapointment and everyone was worried why then he said
"Dont worry Mr. whosoever you are, you will be fine because they work realy good here."
Everyone was worried and he continued
"When I first came here I also used to call myself Michael Jackson"
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Posted: 2008-07-19 00:02
