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Post Your funny Jokes Here |
Cycovision
Joined: Nov 30, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: England
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Police are investigating the bigger picture of
Mark Speight's death.
It was sent in by 11 year
old Susie from Reading.
Hyperlink provided for Taz's benefit 
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KingBooker5
Joined: May 12, 2007
Posts: > 500
From: London, England
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How many dyslexics does it take to change a light blub? |
Danny_BFC
Joined: Jun 18, 2006
Posts: 499
From: Barnsley, Phone,
PM |
1?
Paddy and Mick are throwing stowns at the floor
Paddy Missed...
Im not fussed about phones/gadgets no more. If im online im in the Non-Mobile discussion  |
max_wedge
Joined: Aug 29, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
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On 2008-04-23 22:40:56, KingBooker5 wrote:
How many dyslexics does it take to change a light blub?
neo?
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Trev1982
Joined: Mar 07, 2007
Posts: > 500
From: 192.168.0.6
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funny bugger cyco lol, i watch news just nos soccer lol
BB 8120 |
Cycovision
Joined: Nov 30, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: England
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My mate Sid was a victim of ID theft. He's just called 'S' now...
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pmerryman
Joined: Jun 02, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Oldham,Uk
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She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. The wife was VERY upset!
'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!'
And he replied:
'Hang on just a minute luv, so at least I can tell you what happened'
'Fine, go ahead', she sobbed, ' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And he began:
'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don'twear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair like them..'
He took a quick breath and continued:
'She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said ''Please........do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'
One Day, Men Will Look Back And Say I Gave Birth To The 20th Century. You have to have a piss in the sea, its the law. The A-Z of Trusted Traders[img]http://a-zott.com/images/A-Z |
vladn02
Joined: Sep 17, 2007
Posts: 259
From: Ukraine
PM |
First Day of Vet School
First-year students at Auburn University Vet School were receiving
their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered
around the
surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary
Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a
doctor: The first
is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body."
For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his
finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his
mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but
eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the
dead cow and
sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, "The
second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle
finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.
Life's tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
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pmerryman
Joined: Jun 02, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Oldham,Uk
PM |
Nice one.
One Day, Men Will Look Back And Say I Gave Birth To The 20th Century. You have to have a piss in the sea, its the law. The A-Z of Trusted Traders[img]http://a-zott.com/images/A-Z |
Danny_BFC
Joined: Jun 18, 2006
Posts: 499
From: Barnsley, Phone,
PM |
It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.
As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"
Im not fussed about phones/gadgets no more. If im online im in the Non-Mobile discussion |
pmerryman
Joined: Jun 02, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Oldham,Uk
PM |
Brilliant
One Day, Men Will Look Back And Say I Gave Birth To The 20th Century. You have to have a piss in the sea, its the law. The A-Z of Trusted Traders[img]http://a-zott.com/images/A-Z |
Mige
Joined: Aug 31, 2007
Posts: 453
PM |
nice... cool..
[addsig] |
vladn02
Joined: Sep 17, 2007
Posts: 259
From: Ukraine
PM |
d-_-b
how u make that inverted b?
wait
never mind
these are from bash.org pretty fun stuff there here are some more of my favorites
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
^^^^ LMFAO ROFL!!!!!! THAT IS FUNNNNNY!!
tofunny
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
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Mige
Joined: Aug 31, 2007
Posts: 453
PM |
haha 
[addsig] |
fatreg
Joined: Jul 26, 2003
Posts: > 500
PM |
A man walks into a petrol station and says, "can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch." | |
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Posted: 2008-04-23 20:56
