| Author |
Funny Jokes! |
vampyriaerotica
Joined: Jan 11, 2003
Posts: 341
From: MYS > London, UK
PM |
TEMPTATION...........!
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year,
and
so
>we
> > decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my
friends
> > encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!
> >
> > There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that
one
>thing
> > was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty
years
of
> > age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would
regularly
>bend
> > down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her
underwear.
>It
> > had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone
else.
> >
> > One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the
>wedding
> > invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that
soon
>I
> > was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she
>couldn't
> > overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she
wanted
>to
> > make love to me just once before I got married and committed my
life to
>her
> > sister.
> >
> > I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm
going
> > upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just
come
up
>and
> > get me."
> >
> > I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs.
>When
> > she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down
the
> > stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went
straight
>to
> > the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I
walked
> > straight towards my car.
> >
> > My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his
eyes he
> > hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our
little
>test.
> > We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the
family."
> >
> > The moral of this story is: always keep your condoms in your car.
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shithappens
Joined: Sep 17, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
PM |
@sam12: sorry to hear bout the sacking mate....if u want some jokes, try this thread....there's tons there...cheers dude...
http://www.esato.com/board/viewtopic.php?topic=5322&forum=20
True Bravery is arriving home late after a boys' nite out, wife waiting with the broom & u ask: "Are u still cleaning or are u flying somewhere" |
sam12
Joined: May 27, 2003
Posts: 335
PM |
vampyriaerotica that was quite funny......
you've just made my day..
Any more? |
vampyriaerotica
Joined: Jan 11, 2003
Posts: 341
From: MYS > London, UK
PM |
 Here we go again.....! 
Silly, but Harmless
>
>This only takes a minute and it's fun.
>Please send it onto everyone who might need a smile.
>Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some
>silliness to break up the day.
>Here is your dose...
>
>Follow the instructions to find your new name.
>
>The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants
>and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey: The evil
>Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
>
>Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:
>a = poopsie
>b = lumpy
>c = buttercup
>d = gidget
>e = crusty
>f = greasy
>g = fluffy
>h = cheese! ball
>i = chim-chim
>j = stinky
>k = flunky
>l = boobie
>m = pinky
>n = zippy
>o = goober
>p = doofus
>q = slimy
>r = loopy
>s = snotty
>t = tootie
>u = dorkey
>v = squeezit
>w = oprah
>x = skipper
>z = zsa-zsa
>y = dinky
>
>Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of
>your new last name:
>
>a = apple
>b = toilet
>c = giggle
>d = burger
>e = girdle
>f = barf
>g = lizard
>h = waffle
>i = cootie
>j = monkey
>k = potty
>l = liver
>m = banana
>n = rhino
>o = bubble
>p = hamster
>q = toad
>r = gizzard
>s = pizza
>t = gerbil
>u = chicken
>v = pickle
>w = chuckle
>x = tofu
>y = gorilla
>z = stinker
>
>Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of
>your new last name:
>
>a = head
>b = mouth
>c = face
>d = nose
>e = tush
>f = breath
>g = pants
>h = shorts
>i = lips
>j = honker
>k = butt
>l = brain
>m = tushie
>n = chunks
>o = hiney
>p = biscuits
>q = toes
>r = buns
>s = fanny
>t = sniffer
>u = sprinkles
>v = kisser
>w = squirt
>x = humperdinck
>y = brains
>z = juice
>
>Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Goober Chickenshorts !!
>and Osama bin Laden's is: Poopsie Appletush !!
>
>Now when you SEND THIS ON ... use your new name as the subject and
>remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day, adults
>laugh an average of 4 times a day. Put more laughter in your life!!!
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sam12
Joined: May 27, 2003
Posts: 335
PM |
Nice one ................ |
savvas
Joined: Jan 21, 2003
Posts: 158
From: Cyprus
PM |
Three chinese friends Bu,Chu and Fu went to the USA.They decided to americanise their names. Bu became Buck, Chu became Chuck, Fu decided to go back to china.
Addicted to  |
Eleventy7
Joined: Jul 05, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: the rotten oasis
PM, WWW
|
http://www.esato.com/board/viewtopic.php?topic=5322&forum=20
why waste another thread? particularly in the P800 forum?
|
joebmc
Joined: Jan 03, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Kent
PM |
two oranges sitting at the bar one orange says to the other
"your round"  |
P800_Zen_master
Joined: Apr 01, 2003
Posts: 483
From: ????
PM, WWW
|
These will bring a smile!
Things To Do In An Elevator Mark as unread
1) When there's only one other person in the elvator, tap them
on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile,
and go back for more.
3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the
wrong ones.
4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they
know what floor your on.
5) Hold the doors open and say your saiting for a friend. After
a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day
been?"
6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then
scream, "That's mine!"
7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
 Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on,
ask if they have an apointment.
9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to
play.
10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask
them if they can hear ticking.
11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and exits with the passengers.
12) Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay,
don't panic, they open again!"
15) Swat at flies that don't exist.
16) Tell people that you can see their aura.
17) Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.
21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.
23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then
announce, "I have new socks on".
26) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"
I have a little joke database on my personal site: www.zakeen.com
[ This Message was edited by: P800_Zen_master on 2003-06-12 19:45 ] | |
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Access the forum with a mobile phone via esato.mobi
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Posted: 2003-06-12 17:19
