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Post Your funny Jokes Here |
Oogamous
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 401
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Hope i can type out this joke in my first shot, without editing it..
One fine morning a guy wakes up and goes out for a stroll in his backyard, only to find a Big Gorilla sitting right in the middle of his backyard! The gorilla, equally scared on seeing the guy, quickly climbs up onto the tall tree in the backyard.
This guy is in a state of shock, wondering how to get rid of the gorilla up in his tree. So he looks up in the Yellow pages and finds an entry under "Gorilla Removal Service". Without wasting time, he promptly calls up the phone number...
Guy: Help, i'm calling from 32nd avenue street, please send someone over quick, there's a gorilla in my tree!
Person at the service: Sure sir, we will send a gorilla removal expert as soon as possible. Till then stay away from the gorilla and it shouldn't harm you.
Sure enough within 15 minutes a van from the gorilla removal service arrived and the expert stepped out. The guy showed the expert the tree in which the gorilla was hiding. The expert coolly took out the following tools from his bag.
1) A Long Pole
2) Handcuffs
3) A Tiny Dog.
4) A Shotgun
The expert tells the guy that he would require his help for the plan and lays it down as follows:
"I will Climb up onto the tree, and using this long pole i'll constantly poke the gorilla. The Gorilla will lose his balance and fall on the ground. As soon as it hits the ground, this Dog is so trained that it will launch an attack right at the genitals of the gorilla. The gorilla, would instinctively cover his privates with his hands as soon as he sees the dog approaching, and at that very instant you take advantage and slap the handcuffs on the gorilla."
The man, ponders over the plan, impressed by it's apparent simplicity. Then he looks over at the shotgun, and asks the expert - What's that for then? Doesn't that fit into the plan?
The expert replies: "Oh yeah, if i happen to fall down before the gorilla does, please shoot the damn dog!"
Sony all the way |
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Oogamous
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 401
PM |
One day in the 1st grade, Little Susie stands up in class and says, "Teacher, may i ask you a question?"
The Teacher says, "Of course Susie, go ahead"
Susie asks, "Teacher can my mother get pregnant?" The teacher wonders now why would she ask such a quesion but nevertheless replies, "Susie, how old is your mother?"
Susie: "She's 35 years old"
Teacher: "Of course she can get pregnant Susie."
Susie sits down and the teacher resumes teaching her class.
After 5 min susie gets up again and asks, "Teacher Can i ask you another question?"
Teacher: "Sure Susie"
Susie: "Teacher, can my elder sister get pregnant?"
Teacher: "How old is she?"
Susie: "She is 18 years old"
Eager to satisfy this small girl's innocent curiosity, the teacher gladly replies, "Yes Susie, your sister can get pregnant"
After a while Susie yet again stands up and asks, "Teacher, one last question, Can i get pregnant?"
The teacher, though slightly taken aback, maintains her cool and asks susie "How old are you dear?"
Susie replies "Teacher I'm 6 years old"
The teacher replies, "No, Susie dear, you cannot get pregnant dear."
Susie then says "Thank you teacher" and sits down while the teacher resumes her class..
As soon as she sits down, Little Johnny leans over and whispers in her ear, "See, i TOLD you nothing would happen".
Sony all the way |
whizkidd
Joined: May 14, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: India
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I once had one 2 one with a VIRGIN, she teased me till i had an ERICSSON, sucked me till my face went ORANGE, till i busted my SIEMEN all over her NOKIAS!! 
T230 >> T610 >> Ngage QD >> N73 >> N85 >> Omnia HD >> And countless other review units |
Jake Blues
Joined: May 24, 2004
Posts: > 500
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Dawn French has been arrested 4 possesion of hard drugs, she went through customs with no knickers on... Fell over & exposed 40 lbs of crack. |
Rocky B.
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
Posts: 357
From: Leicester, England
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@ nature:
Ughhhh ... bad images.
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blackspot
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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Host: Ladies and Gentlemen we are glad to have with us tonight one of the richest man in Spain, Senyor Miguel Dela Montana.
APPLAUSE!!!
Host: Sir, what does a rich man like you do in a typical day after breakfast?
Guest: I lie on my veranda.
Host: Sounds very relaxing... How about after lunch?
Guest: I lie on my veranda.
Host: Really?! What about after supper?
Guest: I lie on my veranda.
Host: Don't you also spend time with your wife?
Guest: Senyor, Veranda is my wife.
resistance is futile. |
axxxr
Joined: Mar 21, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Londinium
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"We don't even know if Osama is still alive?
Osama decided to send George W. Bush a letter in his own handwriting
to let him know he was still afoot.Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:
370HSSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he typed it out and e-mailed it to the CIA.No
one there could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the Secret Service.
Eventually, they asked Canada's RCMP for help. The Canadian RCMP cabled the White House:
"Tell the President he is looking at the message upside down."
[addsig] |
Rocky B.
Joined: Jan 15, 2005
Posts: 357
From: Leicester, England
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Now i could see bush doing that. But Billy bob BinLaden speaking leet? Somehow I don't a think so.
Lol anyhow 
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mrao
Joined: Nov 11, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Mumbai, India
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An arab filling out a job application..
Question..Sex: male or female
Answer: 6 times a week..doesnt matter if its male or female..sometimes even camel
 t610 > k700i > p800 > p900 > p910 > k750i > I-mate Jam > Blokia 6681 > HTC Prophet > HTC Wizard & Nokia N73 > E71 > BB 9000 > HTC Desire > Samsung Galaxy S > Samsung Galaxy S II & the Motorola Xoom <br /> Still Shiny but not so n |
Jake Blues
Joined: May 24, 2004
Posts: > 500
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jacksons just got 10 years.
the judge says hes lucky, if he was black he would have got 20. |
leary_donna
Joined: May 16, 2005
Posts: 0
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THAT WAS A GOOD JOKE |
mrao
Joined: Nov 11, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Mumbai, India
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Adam & Eve had the perfect marriage...
Adam didnt have to worry about a nagging mother-in-law...and Eve didnt have to worry about the women in Adams life before marriage 
t610 > k700i > p800 > p900 > p910 > k750i > I-mate Jam > Blokia 6681 > HTC Prophet > HTC Wizard & Nokia N73 > E71 > BB 9000 > HTC Desire > Samsung Galaxy S > Samsung Galaxy S II & the Motorola Xoom <br /> Still Shiny but not so n |
blackspot
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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that reminds of this:
Woman: You don't mind if I have a dark past?
Man: Not at all. I don't have a bright future anyway.
resistance is futile. |
Oogamous
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 401
PM |
Q) What do you get when you cross a French General and a Landmine?
A) Napoleon Blownaparte
Sony all the way |
Oogamous
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 401
PM |
One day, a man walked into a bar. He say's to the bartender, "If I
show you the most amazing thing in your life, will you give me five
free beers?"
The bartender says, "Show me this amazing thing first."
So the man takes out a 10 inch man and a tiny piano.
The 10 inch man starts playing the piano.
The bartender scratches his head and says, "Wow, that is amazing.
Here are your five beers. How did you do that?"
"There is a magic lamp outside. Rub it and a genie comes out and will
grant you one wish."
So the bartender goes outside, finds the lamp, and rubs it. Then the
genie comes out and says "I am the genie of this lamp. I will grant
one wish. Choose carefully."
"I want 10,000,000 bucks." As soon as he made his wish, 10,000,000
ducks came out of nowhere. The bartender goes back into the bar.
"Boy" he says to the man, "that genie sure does have bad hearing." The
man answers: "I know, did you really think I asked for a 10 inch
pianist?"
Sony all the way |
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Posted: 2005-04-25 06:05
t610 > k700i > p800 > p900 > p910 > k750i > I-mate Jam > Blokia 6681 > HTC Prophet > HTC Wizard & Nokia N73 > E71 > BB 9000 > HTC Desire > Samsung Galaxy S > Samsung Galaxy S II & the Motorola Xoom 
