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Post Your funny Jokes Here |
mhorton Joined: Jan 13, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: UK PM |
Sorry I have no more jokes today, Maybe there will be some tomorrow
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Unibond Joined: Jun 23, 2002 Posts: 70 From: Sunny Malta PM |
Here is the site I promised you www2.dumblaws.com
It might be slow or not work at all since they have a lot of traffic lately.
T.M.
[ This Message was edited by: Unibond on 2002-06-24 17:05 ] |
brownjs Joined: May 03, 2002 Posts: 222 From: scotland PM, WWW
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great jokes
the weird laws (mainly) sex ones
some probably are true but i doubt that some of them are true |
mhorton Joined: Jan 13, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: UK PM |
I'll have a look then
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mhorton Joined: Jan 13, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: UK PM |
Last week I was with one of my summer interns in the lobby when
receptionist complained that her printer wasn't working. The intern
horsed around with it and discovered a pen stuck inside the
printer.
He started to jam his fingers down into the printer to get the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabs a piece of paper and starts scrawling on it. I left before he finished the note.
About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.
This is what he found.
Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to.
NOW YOU LOOK AT THE PICTURE........
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mhorton Joined: Jan 13, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: UK PM |
LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK
1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP
2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER
3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY
4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT
5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER
6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YOUR DONG
7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT.
8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY
9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE
10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YOUR PETER
11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YOUR DICK
12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT
13. WHLE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS
14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE
15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER
16. NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER
17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL
18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION
19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL
20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER
21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!
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orang3 Joined: Mar 28, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: Never_never_Land PM, WWW
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tht is a good 1 mate ..
Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you |
Eamonn Joined: Nov 30, 2001 Posts: > 500 PM |
that last one is funny
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mhorton Joined: Jan 13, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: UK PM |
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mixin Joined: Jan 26, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: Notts, UK PM, WWW
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they're quality
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Unibond Joined: Jun 23, 2002 Posts: 70 From: Sunny Malta PM |
Great one mhorton
T.M. |
mhorton Joined: Jan 13, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: UK PM |
Thanks
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josch Joined: Mar 25, 2002 Posts: 133 From: germany PM |
he guys,
now i will try to tell a joke.
2 friends in a bar
the 1 have a blue eys.
the other friend ask , what is happen?
answer
i dont know all what i have said was !! you!!
not more?
no
yesterday i come home. on the table a bottle champ. and 2 glasses. and my wife said again 1 year is offer without sex.
my answer
for you!!!!!!
[ This Message was edited by: josch on 2002-06-25 10:54 ]
[ This Message was edited by: josch on 2002-06-25 10:59 ] |
mhorton Joined: Jan 13, 2002 Posts: > 500 From: UK PM |
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Unibond Joined: Jun 23, 2002 Posts: 70 From: Sunny Malta PM |
The following is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation that
took place in October 1995, between a US Navy ship off the coast of
England, and some British authority. The transcript was released by the
MoD.
BRITS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a
collision.
AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid a collision.
BRITS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the
South to avoid a collision.
AMERICANS: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course.
BRITS: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.
AMERICANS: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
BRITS: We are a lighthouse. f**k off.
T.M.
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