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Author The Official Esato "Im bursting for the toilet and my zip is stuck" Thread
methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2008-01-25 13:19
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Farting is great. I let out what I hoped would be a deep, machismo bellow, when I was standing at the urinals surrounded by other chaps, and it was one of those whiny, over-long ones, the ones that sound like the squeak you get when you're pinching the neck on a balloon. How embarrassing.
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Muhammad-Oli
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From: The NZ of L
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Posted: 2008-01-25 13:35
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Yeah farting sure is great... The first fart I ever did around my girlfriend was when I was lifting her up once. But I lifted her up rather quickly and with this jerky movement, out squeezed a nice loud fart. She didn't realise what it was until she noticed how embarrassed I was!

Its ok though, she was the first one to let rip out of us

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[ This Message was edited by: Muhummad-Oli on 2008-01-25 12:35 ]
max_wedge
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Posted: 2008-01-25 14:10
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On 2008-01-25 13:19:36, methylated_spirit wrote:
Farting is great. I let out what I hoped would be a deep, machismo bellow, when I was standing at the urinals surrounded by other chaps, and it was one of those whiny, over-long ones, the ones that sound like the squeak you get when you're pinching the neck on a balloon. How embarrassing.


yeah that's embarrassing indeed!

Meths what you said about the joy of a good shit, man, your analogies have had me cacking myself for the last half hour.

Usually when in "polite company", and I desparately have to let one out to prevent internal haemorrhaging, I slip a long silent one out. I find it hilarious and usually give myself away by laughing uncontrollably when people look around wondering who did it. If you can prevent your self laughing it's even funnier because you can enjoy it for longer!!

Nothing funnier than making a few stuffed shirts squirm Lifts are good.


max_wedge
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Posted: 2008-01-25 14:23
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I hate spending ages laying freakin' loo paper on the seat, only to sit down and realise you don't need to go after all.

Or needing to go badly, and the only loo available has piss all over the floor, shit on the seat, and you are so desparate to go you wipe the seat, put five layers of paper down, gingerly take your shorts off so that they don't touch your shoes or the floor, hang you shorts on the door latch, (where they could fall any second into the puddle of piss, but all the clothes hooks have been ripped off the wall) then go with a "YEEEHAAH" as you release that curry from the night before, sweat breaking out on your brow. Then, you realise you've used most of the toilet paper on the seat, wipe using two squares and your undies, stand up and peeling the five layers of TP from your arse, carefully put your pants back on sans undies, flush, and get the f... out of there! And through all that you are sweating you'll fumble and drop your mobile at any second into the pit of despair under your arse and around your ankles...
Muhammad-Oli
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Posted: 2008-01-25 14:32
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@max_wedge: Hahahahaha, that was hilarious! You had me laughing uncontrollably there!

I absolutely hate public toilets. It always seems to be that you can judge a place by how nice and clean the toilets are.
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methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2008-01-25 14:38
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What makes me sweat are the ones that are a little too wide for comfort, the ones that you do with a look of apprehension on your face.
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
max_wedge
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Posted: 2008-01-25 14:46
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that's the true look of fear. You know you have to push it out, but you don't want to...
fatevdestiny
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Posted: 2008-01-25 14:49
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I hate it when you go into a public toilet and ur at the urinal but u cant do a p!ss until you have a fart lol

methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2008-01-25 15:21
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Just had quite an aggressive "bungles finger" there
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
Sammy_boy
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Posted: 2008-01-25 20:03
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I really shouldn't be reading this thread whilst eating...
"All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing" - Edmund Burke

max_wedge
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Posted: 2008-01-27 12:22
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nah, I enjoy eating too much. I can eat pretty much no matter what's going on. Fart jokes, foul smells, naked ugly people, baby shit on the walls, you name it
Trev1982
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Posted: 2008-01-27 12:48
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my friend has a habit of setting his farts on fire, but 5 times out of 10 he follows through he's such a tool
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max_wedge
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Posted: 2008-01-28 01:19
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my arse is too hairy to try setting my farts on fire. I'd end up with third degree burns for sure
methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2008-01-31 12:00
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Not really urinary or faecal in nature, but i twisted a bollock and spent Tuesday in hospital. So embarrassing
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
Muhammad-Oli
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From: The NZ of L
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Posted: 2008-01-31 12:06
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Twisted a bollock... How did you manage that?
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