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The continuing story thread |
kimcheeboi
Joined: Dec 19, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Abducted by hot blondes to Les
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"I'm yo daddy!" said Ronald. "Now godammit stop fu*king with my head and tell me who you are!"
Jesus replied, "Son, I AM JESUS, and if you dont believe me i'll beat the living shit out of you!"
"Ok, fine," Ronald replied, "But i gotta warn you - people will use your crucifixion day to give each other presents and all that other stuff!"
"Oh god damn it i give up!" said Jesus and shot himself in the head.
[addsig] |
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Egbert Nosh
Joined: Dec 30, 2003
Posts: 63
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Ronald immediately realised the gravity of what he had done. If there would be no Jesus, there would be no tinsel in the world. Therefore he decided he would have to act the part himself. He quickly grabbed the sandals just in time to hear a shout behind him from a Roman: |
kimcheeboi
Joined: Dec 19, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Abducted by hot blondes to Les
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"Hey Jesus, would you like to participate in some Romanism?"
Ronald had no clue what that was, but being adventurous, he said,
"Certe! Peroptato amori! OH snap! I can speak Latin!"
[addsig] |
Egbert Nosh
Joined: Dec 30, 2003
Posts: 63
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All of a sudden there was a flash and Ronald found himself back on the Opal ship.
"Ha! We managed to timewarp you back" said Sonia.
Ronald as quick as a flash jumped up and pressed the warp button before Sonia could get his clutches on him.
He immediately found himself in a sports car in the back seat. The car seemed to be going very fast in some sort of tunnel. There was an indian man driving and a blonde, short haired lady in the passenger seat.
The driver was just saying "Oh Diana, just wait until you try my mother's chappatis" when he noticed Ronald in the rear-view-mirror.
"My goodness gracious me", he said. "It's Ronald Christ in the back seat!"
He was so shocked that he lost control of the car and it crashed, killing both him and Diana. Ronald miraculously was not hurt.
Ronald realised he had to get away from the scene - and fast. He came up with an ingenious plan...
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blackspot
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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Before somebody finds out about the crash, Ronald managed to drag himself to a nearby forest and hide. He also made sure he covered his tracks and was careful that no blood from his wounded head dripped on the ground.
He stayed on the forest until he was strong enough to execute his plans. He survived using the herbs that he could find to heal his woulds and to nourish himself, feeding also on insects and occasional small animals that wander around the forest.
After three days...
resistance is futile. |
wrecked_porsche
Joined: Jul 01, 2002
Posts: > 500
From: I'm not telling u !
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he awoke to a dog licking his face. The dog was purple in colour, had a square head, had one eye and was wearing a bright green bra. Ronald thought to himself " Oh no! Those damn aliens sent one of their dog thingys to track me down!"
In a fit of panic, he... |
blackspot
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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tried to run as fast as he could but a beam of light was already all over him and he disintegrated into photon particles and disappeared.
He rematerialized in a holding chamber back in Opal 1.
"Welcome back Ronald" the green scaly alien who was standing outside the chamber greeted him.
resistance is futile. |
Egbert Nosh
Joined: Dec 30, 2003
Posts: 63
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"frickin' nora!" exclaimed Ronald. "What have I done to deserve this?!"
In f ront of him was a large screen. In immediate response to his question an image appeared on the screen.
"My name is Basil Finklefeffer. After drinks all will be explained. But first please remove your turban"
Ronald felt his head, and sure enough he was wearing a turban! But he was a Protestantitute!
... |
blackspot
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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"Huh, where did this turban come from? This isn't mine."
"That's mine." a bearded human in another holding cell in front of him replied! "It must have been mixed up when we were transported together. See, I believe this is your Adidas I'm wearing now"
Ronald looked at the man and was surprised when he recognized the bearded man...
resistance is futile. |
Egbert Nosh
Joined: Dec 30, 2003
Posts: 63
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"Obi-wan-kenobi! Since when did you become a Sikh?" asked Ronald. |
blackspot
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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"Pardon me, but I'm not... Oh, sorry I thought you said SITH. Actually since I was 15" Obiwan replied.
"Enough of this nonsense!" Basil Finklefeffer, interrupted. "Let's move on to more important matters."
resistance is futile. |
Egbert Nosh
Joined: Dec 30, 2003
Posts: 63
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Then Basil said something which made no sense to Ronald,
"YO MAN RASTA-BLASTA ME NO WAN NUN O DAT PUM PUM BIZNESS YO CHILL MA MAIN MAN" |
blackspot
Joined: Sep 06, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Philippines
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Ronald thought for a minute... "What did you say?"
Basil just laughed "Hahahahaha! You earthlings are pathetic!"
"Oh yeah?" Ronald replied. He started smuttering some gibberish of his own, "Ilid ok akam tobas omin, gnaob nam ilagnit ak! Itab ap ak gu gnowan, ogob ap duyig!"
"Well said!" Obiwan shouted.
Basil's eyes turned red, his head started to enlarge, steam came out of his nostrils and ears, and suddenly...
resistance is futile. |
DJcreamz
Joined: Jul 09, 2004
Posts: 463
From: Luton / UK
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his nose fell off, severed by obi wans hidden light saber he had cleverly concelled in his trousers
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gerardsalvador
Joined: Dec 27, 2004
Posts: 83
From: Melbourne, Australia
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"Ahee hee!" squealed Basil "Ah Cha'mone!" he kicked the air and moonwalked around the room. His voice changed to a very feminine one and said, "I think you kids ought to know who i really am..." Basil then took hold of his hair and ripped a mask off revealing his true identity: MICHAEL JACKSON!
[NOT A PHONE JUNKIE!]
Phone Resume:
T100, T300, K500i, J200, Z550i. |
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Posted: 2004-12-23 21:56
