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Author mince-inside is feeling low.
methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2004-09-02 15:02
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He's feeling a little down today, so its our duty to cheer him up. Here's a poem i composed:

There once was a man from Newcastle,
Who tied up a shit in a parcel.
He sent it to Spain,
With a note to explain,
That it came from his grandmothers' arsell.
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
*Jojo*
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Joined: Oct 15, 2003
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Posted: 2004-09-02 15:19
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@methylated_spirit - What's the reason mate !
energetic
Aino Black
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From: Athens, Greece, Europe, Earth,
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Posted: 2004-09-02 15:21
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What is wrong with mince-inside?

_________________
My Honda S2000
Bush's stamp
Chain game!

[ This Message was edited by: energetic on 2004-09-02 14:23 ]
mince-inside
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From: Made in Alnwick living in Scot
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Posted: 2004-09-02 15:32
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Work is too busy
And I'm all of a tizzy
My Lawyer has warned me
of a pending 'financal catastrophe'
Funny I thought that was the job of my accountant!

PS not very good at limericks

Thanks for the thread - very astute young Jedi @meths


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Pictures in my head
Worst job ever! v's Dream Job

[ This Message was edited by: mince-inside on 2004-09-02 14:34 ]
*Jojo*
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Joined: Oct 15, 2003
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Posted: 2004-09-02 15:56
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@mince-inside -

Maybe you are just
Worried 'bout the buzz
Don't let this get into you
As we have a frind here in the name of @scotsboyu -(k)
I know he can help you here
With your pending crisis he will adhere
Just don't forget to pay him his talent fee
As he will not let you scot(sboyuk)-free!


methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2004-09-02 16:01
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There was a young Scot named Mcphee
Who got stung in the balls by a bee
He made oodles of money
By oozing pure honey
Each time he attempted to pee.

Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
switchbitch
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From: ELF Pap Cop (Avatar pending)
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Posted: 2004-09-02 16:28
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Old mrs hubbard
went to her cupboard
to fetch the old dog a bone.
when she bent over,
old rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own. [addsig]
methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2004-09-02 16:30
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There was an old man from Bengal,
who was invited to a masquerade ball.
Arrayed like a tree,
he failed to forsee,
his abuse by the dogs in the hall.
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
energetic
Aino Black
Joined: Jan 13, 2003
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From: Athens, Greece, Europe, Earth,
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Posted: 2004-09-02 16:48
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A joke dedicated to mince-inside to keep a smile-inside him.

One night a thief decided to enter a house to rob. As he was searching the place with his search light for some goodies a voice is heard:

"Jesus is watching and he's going to punish you!"

The thief stalls for a second and turns around but he see nothing, so he continues his search.

The voice is heard again:

"Jesus is watching and he's going to punish you!"

He turns suddenly and decides to turn on the lights in order to find out what is going on. As soon as he turns the lights on, he sees a parrot looking at him.

The thief asks the parrot:

"Did you said that?"

"Of course!", the parrot says.

The thief asks him: "What is your name?"

"Homer", the parrot replys.

The thief asks him: "What kind of a name is that for a parrot?"

"Why? Is the name Jesus a good name for a Doberman?", said the parrot!


mince-inside
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From: Made in Alnwick living in Scot
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:02
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A German Shepard and Poodle sitting in the vets

German Shepard: Why do you look so down??
Poodle: I'm here for castration
German Shepard: Why?
Poodle: Well, I jumped the fence and gave Fifi the Poodle next door a good seeing to.
German Shepard: Good on ya mate!
Poodle: Why are you here?
German Shepard: Well, my mistress came down stairs last Sunday morning in JUST a tiny T-shirt and as the bent over with my water bowl I just could not help myself…
Poodle: Ah, so you're also here for castration?
German Shepard: No, just my nails to be clipped
methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:23
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Why doesnt michael barrymore have any ashtrays in his house?


He throws his fags in the pool
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
mince-inside
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Joined: May 09, 2004
Posts: 452
From: Made in Alnwick living in Scot
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:27
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The shortest joke:
A baby seal walked into this club...
methylated_spirit
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From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:34
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have you seen stevie wonders wife? Neithers he!
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
RichLok
Sony Xperia S
Joined: Jun 06, 2002
Posts: 331
From: Los Angeles, CA
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:54
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A train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter.

St.Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact
with a male's privates?" She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once
touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.

St. Peter says, "Ok, dip the TIP OF YOUR FINGER in The Holy Water
and pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer have
you ever had any contact with a male's privates?" The girl is a
little reluctant but replies, "Well once I fondled and stroked one."

St.Peter says "OK, dip your WHOLE HAND in The Holy Water and
pass through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl
is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front
of the line

St. Peter says "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"

The girl replies "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy
Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her butt in it."
methylated_spirit
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Joined: Jul 07, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Bonnie Scotland
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Posted: 2004-09-02 17:56
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whats the difference between Australian soap opera Neighbours, and Prince Charles?

One has a mrs. Mangle, and the other has a mangled mrs. !!
Hello, Scroto!

U.G.L.Y. You ain't got no alibi, you ugly!
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