| Author |
Pinoy Funny Jokes |
clark27
Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 141
From: Napoleon hik!
PM |
Si Ahmed ay isang high-ranking official sa korte ni Haring Akbar.
Matagal nang pinakamimithi ni Ahmed na pagsawaang madede ang malulusog na dibdib ng Reyna. Tuwing mapapadaan si Ahmed sa harapan ng Reyna ay gayon na lamang ang pagkasiphayo ng kanyang kalooban. Isang araw, ipinagtapat ni Ahmed ang kinikimkim niyang pagnanasa sa pangunahing tagapayo ng Hari, si Birbal. Umiiyak na nagmakaawa si Ahmed kay Birbal upang tulungan siya sa kanyang suliranin. Pinag-isipan ni Birbal ang bagay na iyon, at pumayag siyang tulungan si Ahmed sa kondisyon na kapag natupad ang ninanasa ni Ahmed ay babayaran siya ni Ahmed ng 1,000 gintong kuwalta. Agad na sumang-ayon si Ahmed. Humingi si Birbal kay Ahmed ng kalahating tasang laway nito. Isinangkap ni Birbal ang laway ni Ahmed sa mahiwagang losyon. Kinabukasan, habang naliligo ang Reyna,
ipinahid ni Birbal ang mahiwagang losyon sa bra nito. Matapos isuot
ng Reyna ang bra ay nagsimulang mangati ang mga suso nito. Habang nagtatagal ay lalong sumisidhi ang pangangati ng boobs ng Reyna, kaya ganoon na lamang ang pag-aalala ng Hari. Hindi makatulog ang Reyna dahil sa pangangati ng kanyang boobs, at syempre pa ay bwisit na bwisit ito. Kung sinu-sino ang kinunsulta ng Hari, kabilang si Birbal, at nagkaisa sila na ang makagagamot sa karamdaman ng Reyna ay isang espesyal na laway na kailangang ilagay sa loob nang apat
na oras. Isiniwalat ni Birbal na ang espesyal na laway ay matatagpuan
sa bibig ni Ahmed. Ipinatawag ni Haring Akbar si Ahmed, at inatasan itong dedehin nang apat na oras ang dibdib ng Reyna. Apat na oras na singkad na nagpapasasa si Ahmed sa suso ng Reyna na mistulang asong ulol. Dinilaan niya iyon, kinagat, pinisil-pisil, nilamas, nilamutak. Nakamit ni Ahmed ang matagal na niyang hinahangad. Pagkalipas ng apat na oras ay masayang-masaya si Ahmed. Nang magtagpo sila ni Birbal at sinisingil siya nito, tumangging magbayad si Ahmed at ipinagtabuyan niya si Birbal. Alam ni Ahmed na hindi makapagsusumbong si Birbal kay Haring Akbar. Minaliit ni Ahmed ang talino ni Birbal. Kinabukasan, ipinahid ni Birbal ang mahiwagang losyon sa underwear ni Haring Akbar. Muling ipinatawag ni Haring Akbar si
Ahmed...
Tuloy ko pa bang kuwento? |
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zairak
Joined: Feb 07, 2003
Posts: 107
From: philippines
PM |
wala ka na namang magawa clark pero sige tatawa na rin ako  |
Lopio
Joined: Feb 07, 2003
Posts: 266
From: Cebu City, Philippines
PM |
bwahahaha
This message was posted from a P800 |
doctabako
Joined: Feb 10, 2003
Posts: 286
From: Philippines
PM |
Nice one clark, keep it coming :-D
This message was posted from a T68i |
clark27
Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 141
From: Napoleon hik!
PM |
@doc: tnx tom naman para d maubusan ng bala  |
kylerix04
Joined: Apr 29, 2002
Posts: 33
From: me to you...
PM |
clark anu na nman ba itu???? barker ka muna....... hehehehehehe 
galaw2 ka bka ka mastroke kagaya ni zairak..... peace!!! |
Vlammetje
Joined: Mar 01, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Den Haag
PM, WWW
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This thread just came outta nowhere....  i guess it must be 'real' garbage!
Anyway I could only understand one post anyway: 'bwahahaha' by Lopio......
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nocturnalchipmunk
Joined: Jan 16, 2003
Posts: 364
From: California, USA
PM |
how did they make a new post here? you cant create new topics.. maybe it was real garbage and laffen put it here.. well.. we welcome you to our section of this forum! 
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clark27
Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 141
From: Napoleon hik!
PM |
@nocturnalchipmunk: tnx!!!! maybe our asian moderator transferred it here before it was posted under asia pacific since its contents are more jokes that why it's suited on this index and u can't create directly a new thread under garbage.
Mabuhay tayong mga Pilipino!!!
This is a true incident:
A 70 year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson
to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA interview. The lolo spoke
not a word of English so the grandson translated for him.The consul
told the young man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to
the States. "Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?"
the grandson translated. "Sabihim mo gusto kong makita yung mga
anak ko doon." "He said he wants to see his children there."
Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated.
The consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to go
there? Why can't his children just come and visit him here?"
The grandson translated this in Tagalog.
Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga
anak ko. Nakita na nila and Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang
Amerika bago ako mamatay." (Translation: "Tell him, my children
were born here. They've seen the Philippines already. I just want
to see America before I die.")
The heartless consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any
emotion, that he was rejecting the visa application because the
applicant was unable to speak a word of English.
"Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles."
The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag
mong papalitan ang sasabihin ko. P_____ ina niya, bakit siya nandidito
eh hindi naman siya marunong mag-Tagalog."
Translated: "He said- you son of a bitch, how come you are here...
you do not know how to speak in Tagalog."
Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and
approved lolo's visa application in pronto.
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nocturnalchipmunk
Joined: Jan 16, 2003
Posts: 364
From: California, USA
PM |
haha these guys are hilarious!! (what are they saying? )
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Vlammetje
Joined: Mar 01, 2003
Posts: > 500
From: Den Haag
PM, WWW
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tom_riddle
Joined: Sep 24, 2002
Posts: 292
PM |
ang galing galing ni clark!!! idol talaga kita!!
Translation:
clark is great, clark is good!!!! he is my idol!!
(note: he gave me a brand new T68i to post that)
are you on the list? |
nocturnalchipmunk
Joined: Jan 16, 2003
Posts: 364
From: California, USA
PM |
ang galing galing ni clark!!! idol talaga kita!!
(now.. where's my t68i?  )
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clark27
Joined: Jan 10, 2002
Posts: 141
From: Napoleon hik!
PM |
forwarded to me by my friend through email
@tom: don't mention it pare!!!!
Subject: A guy from prison
A prisoner escapes from his prison where he had been kept for 15
years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it.
He finds a young couple in bed. He gets the guy out of bed, ties him
up on a chair, ties up the woman to the
bed and while he gets on top of her, he kisses her on the neck, then
gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy is a prisoner, look at his clothes!
He probably spent a lot of time in prison,and has not seen a woman in
years. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, give him satisfaction. This guy must be dangerous, if he gets
angry, he will kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you" To which the wife responds, "I am glad you think that way. Sure, he
has not seen a woman in years, but he was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom... Be strong, honey. I love you too." |
nocturnalchipmunk
Joined: Jan 16, 2003
Posts: 364
From: California, USA
PM |
deja vu! just kidding!
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Posted: 2003-05-20 12:59
Taste the rainbow, sweetheart!
