| Author |
Share Your Written Work |
SE4NICK
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
PM |
Ok here is a thread where you can show your work (poetry, song lyrics, short stories, extracts from things you have written). ATM I am looking for somewhere to host members writings so instead of writing being scattered all through the thread you can just click a link (that I will post here) and you will be able to see the writers work easily...Let me know if u have any ideas...
STRICTLY NO PLAGIARISM !!!
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Wine Of The Dead & Dying...
The table overturned,
the glasses crash to the floor.
The blood red liquid already seeping through the cracks inbetween the maple floorboards.
Griffin smashes the glistning bottle on the end table.
He turns towards me, rage filled eyes that almost pierce my skin.
I stand my ground, without even thinking I remove a gleaming, silver dager from the dark leather holster on my waist.
My hand poised towards Griffin, the dagger shimmering in the candle light.
I take a step towards him, the tiny flames dancing, as if they were daring me to lunge at him.
My heart pounding, sweat dripping of my forehead.
I try to picture what my oponent is contemplating.
Suddenly, without warning, something from behind knocks me to the ground.
The dagger launched into the table, lodging itself there.
I look up, MY OWN BROTHER, Skye, towers above me.
I fail to make sense of the situation, expecting to wake up any moment now.
I hear Griffin's footsteps shuffle closer towards me.
In one swift movement Skye pins me down, hard agains the cold floorboards.
The shuffling stops, Griffin now above me in Skye's place.
In a split second, Griffin launches the half-wine bottle into my thigh.
I scream and struggle, no one can hear me.
The wine bottle is removed from my thigh, Griffin discards it with a sickening smirk on his face.
Skye releases me, already I feel weak from blood loss, I cant get up.
The pain is unbelievable, never have I expierienced a pain like this before.
Not just my thigh, but the betreal of my brother and only friend is equally as hurtful as the flesh wound itself.
Griffin & Skye, not showing any remorce,
leave me, shaking on the floor.
More red liquid now finding its way through the gaps in the floorboards, only this time it's the wine of the Dead.
A car outside pulls away with an erie screach, at that very moment a gust of wind blows through the open window, extinguishing the dancing flames...
NICK D
[ This Message was edited by: SE4NICK on 2007-11-06 06:44 ] | |
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gola
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Posts: > 500
From: South Africa
PM |
fantastic,after reading the first few lines i just felt like i had to finish the whole passage...nice stuff mate,does it come naturally?
"Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!"
Proverbs 4: 7 |
arien617
Joined: Feb 01, 2006
Posts: > 500
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Superb passage.
A good read!
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Sammy_boy
Joined: Mar 31, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Staffordshire, United Kingdom
PM, WWW
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Gripping poem there - there's the odd spelling error if I get picky but nice imagery there! Quite a dark poem, makes you wonder why this happened and what happens next.
"All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing" - Edmund Burke
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gola
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Posts: > 500
From: South Africa
PM |
poem?
"Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!"
Proverbs 4: 7 |
Ridahz
Joined: Oct 22, 2004
Posts: > 500
From: Manchester
PM |
Me likes 
Ridahz Feedback +29 -0 Titanium Trader  |
SE4NICK
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
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Well i am slightly let down about the lack of feedback, however I am really glad that the few who read it liked it !
No the question "Does It Come Naturally" well some of the things I write do come naturally however other things take more thought....yes there are others.................
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deluded
Joined: Sep 14, 2005
Posts: > 500
PM |
@SE4NICK, great piece of writing there. I particularly liked the "wine of the dead" metaphor. I used to do a bit of writing myself, but it's been a while now. I hardly have time these days. Here's something I wrote sometime back, hope you don't mind me sharing it here.
Restless
The meadow weeps as dawn breaks.
Tears roll down the glittering leaves.
The sun rises, fiery red.
A sight of magnificence.
Yet.
A moment too short,
A moment too soon.
The moment passes,
A sight etched only in memory.
Ahead lie uncertainties.
Will I see the sun rise again tomorrow?
Night falls, all is quiet.
The thumping of my heart is all I hear.
The shadows on the walls,
Slowly engulf my sanity.
There will be no rest tonight.
Again.
By: deluded@Esato
Just a suggestion, maybe you could make this thread a place where people can share their works if they wish to. Cheers!
[ This Message was edited by: deluded on 2007-11-12 12:13 ] |
fatevdestiny
Joined: Oct 22, 2007
Posts: 336
From: Glasgow
PM |
Both poems were amazing 
Very talented indeed |
*Jojo*
Joined: Oct 15, 2003
Posts: > 500
PM |
Those LINES can be USED as lyrics in a song . . .
[addsig] |
deluded
Joined: Sep 14, 2005
Posts: > 500
PM |
@fatevdestiny, jojo, thank you both for the kind comments. @SE4NICK, I liked your piece of writing, if you've got more, do share with us! Cheers!
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. |
SE4NICK
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
PM |
GOOD work deluded !
I will share some more of my work and change the thread nowish...
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SE4NICK
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
PM |
Ok here is one of many others I have written.
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Untitled - Nick D
I press on through the soothing darkness, alone.
With every step, I grow colder.
I pull my bloodstained blazer even tighter around me, keeping one hand on the bullet wound.
I soon hope to find a way out of this mess of a world !
Trying to forget you, I remember more.
I now realise what a bitch you were.
The other bastards were fearful, cowering when you passed.
I, was the one.
I would have killed for you.
I always stood through it all.
NOW !
It has come to this,
I can walk no further, my clothes now drenched in blood.
I take one last look at the stars as EVERYTHING drifts further and further away.
I remove the cross from my neck,
throwing it with the last ounce of my strength.
It lands, glistening RED, in the snow.
I then collapse into the crimson pool of blood and snow beneath me.
I hear the WHISPER OF SIN creeping up on me...
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deluded
Joined: Sep 14, 2005
Posts: > 500
PM |
@SE4NICK, nice one! Thanks for taking my suggestion about making this thread one where we can all contribute. I hope there'll be others willing to put up their works here. Don't be shy! I know it's not easy to put one's works up for fear of criticism, but I think it's a good way to improve. I also hope everyone won't be too critical of the contributors as I'm sure we've all put a fair amount of thought into our works and they mean something to us.
Here's the first piece I wrote many years ago:
Silence.
It is the most precious of things.
It is the most melodious song.
Silence speaks without a word,
Yet it says a thousand.
Silence is tranquil,
Yet it stings like a resounding echo.
Reverberating through itself,
Making itself heard without any effort.
By: deluded@Esato
By the way, Nick, I realised both your pieces are quite dark, are they usually like that? Mine are too, most of the time, I've realised.
[ This Message was edited by: deluded on 2007-11-08 16:39 ] |
SE4NICK
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Posts: > 500
From: Australia
PM |
All my pieces are dark.........never written a happy piece in my life lol...
Anyway ur last one was really really good, even though it was soo short it was wonderfull and conveyed sooo much !
Still lokking for sort of a "poem" hosting thing explanation in first post..
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Posted: 2007-11-04 04:30
