Posted by scotsboyuk
Tonight we go in search of that most common of creatures, the methylated_spirit. Join me as I travel into the deepest darkest depths of the Rubbish threads (known to the natives as Garbage) as we search for this brazen beast.
Our journey takes us to the vast wildnerness of the mince & meths advice thread. A vast plain of rubbish and incoherence. Here, lurking amid the filth and squalor we hope to sight a methylated_spirit.
It isn't too long before we catch sight of this creature. Here we can see him lurking by a thread waiting for someone to reply. The feeding habits of this creature are particuarly interesting. After slaking his thirst at the tea hole he wanders over to one of the many feacal threads he leaves lying around. These droppings attract other Esato creatures and it is here that the methylated_spirit renews the cycle of feeding and excrement.
The creature waits impatiently as an unsuspecting Esatonian approaches, obvlious to the danger. The poor Esatonian approaches the newly created thread and hesitantly looks it over. The methylated_spirit sees his chance and before the poor creature realises what has happened, he has posted.
Over the next few hours we several more Esatonians caught in this trap. Attracted to the excrement that is the methylated_spirit's threds these poor creatures become trapped in a never ending thread of muck.
The methylated_spirit will slowly feast upon these poor unfortunates at his leisure. Suddenly from out of the bush we see a moderator approach, heavily armed to deal with this most dangerous of beasts. A few shots are fired and the thread is closed. It is too late for the poor creatures trapped inside, but that is the way of the jungle.
Our creature, scared off by the moderator, soon meets up with a mate, a mince-inside. The mating habits of these creatures are far too repulsive and graphic and slobbery for us to depict in this family thread.
It is time to leave this creature alone now. One has to respect the beast and know when to leave it in peace.
Until next time ...
_________________
"I may be drunk my dear woman, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly." WSC
[ This Message was edited by: scotsboyuk on 2005-07-15 20:16 ]
Posted by Jim
Hahahahahahaha
Posted by Miss UK
lmao
Posted by parsnip
Posted by PeterKay
Posted by Qoastro
Great one!
Posted by ten18
ah yes marvalous, and where were you hiding when thy incident took place scotsboy? perhaps in thy legendary esato tree with a pair of binoculars and a trusy k750 by your side yes? did thy manage to get any snapshots of the beast in action?
Posted by Cycovision
Nah, scots is much more experienced than that. He was hiding behind one of my god awfull PC advice threads, dodging occasionally between some of the even bigger piles of crap that a certain newish member (who's name shall remain un-uttered) seems to be leaving behind in an blatent attempt to get his post count up
_________________
'He who laughs last, laughs longest. Or didn't get the joke...'
[ This Message was edited by: Cycovision on 2005-07-15 21:08 ]
Posted by scotsboyuk
@ten18
I'll see if I can find a picture of me on safari for you.
Posted by parsnip
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_________________
The following may or may not be my signature:
_-_Nitro_-_
ESATO CHAT ROOM
[ This Message was edited by: [T2K]Nitro on 2005-07-15 21:14 ]
Posted by Cycovision
I most likely do smell Nitro, the weather is flipping hot at the moment!
But it wasn't you I was refering to, you're not a post count junky
So who is it?
Posted by scotsboyuk
In the middle of the great Esato plains we seek out the ancient and decrepit beast known as a masseur.
A placid creature, its diet mainly consists of Sony products and Wi-Fi applications. Even thought this is gentle creature, advanced age has made it somewhat senile and we stand the risk of being charged down by one.
To track this ancinent creature down we must first look for a tranquil. The masseur uses this younger creature to help guid it around Esato and the tranquil acts as a sort of surrogate mother, propping up the old creature.
We first catch sight of the tranquil-masseur pairing at a thread created by one of Esato's newer members. This is how they prefer to feed, by taking a thread off-topic as they playfully frolick with one another.
Neither creature has ever been seen mating in the wild it is believed that they travel to a wild and inaccessible part of Esato, mysteriously known as the Moderator Forum, to procreate.
It is believed that these creatures are also related to the much rarer Cytech and arnoldc and the now extinct jh67. Palaeantologists have postulated that all these creatures have a common ancestor in the mythical laffen.
Now as we appraoch the pair from out of the reeds the wind changes and they catch sight of us. They have a unique defense mechanism to deal with danger, the baility to lock threads. Undeterred we track them to another thread, this time it appears that the much older masseur beast cannot keep up with the tranquil and he quickly falls by the wayside.
We decide it is time to back away and leave this pair alone.
Until next time.
Posted by mustafabay
For both episodes: rotflmaoapaotp.
Posted by parsnip
Lol btw @cyco are u talking about amd1..
Posted by scotsboyuk
No accusations or insinuations over people's posting habits in this thread please.
Posted by paulbang
@cyco its me right?
@scots hey i was right behind you while you were observing all of this.
to busy with meth and mass scots forgot to observe djcream lurking in the dark,trying to get noticed and failing miserabaly.this creature has peculiar habits. He loves hanging around meth and enjoys it when meth shits on his chest.hey also takes immense pleasure in holding a sledge hammer incase a certain paul comes posting.
i was shaken with laughter when i saw this creature move-a cross between a frog and a snake it seemed so confused but managed to get to somewhere eventually.its feeding habits are weirde to- opens his mouth and hopes for nicely aimed bird droppings to fall his way. Sometimes they get into his eye and them he growls at paul but them washes it of with some monkey urin eventually noticing that i mean no harm.
petting this creature can mean certain death in some cases- don't pet his head as thats where his testpickles lie(an effect of radiation). Don't pet from the bottom or he'll fart liquid nitrogen and you'll be a swelly frozen mass- i really don't know where to pet him so i pet myself and make him watch, meth knows for sure.
Best of all, djpream can be very appreciative and shows this by frogi movements- shaking of the head in rapid motion,slurrping from the tea hole and evacuating (not irradiating) his bowels in a swishy way. . . Help he's got me. Scots fired from his air gun hitting dj on the toenail which has to be amputated now
so long friend.
Posted by Cycovision
At the request of Scots, I cannot name the person I have in mind in this thread. I will say though that it's not you either, paulbang.
Posted by DJcreamz
@sotts, very good
@paul, very..... strange, perhaps one can learn to say my name right in just one post
Posted by JK
mmmmm is it me?? it is right??
Posted by mustafabay
I think this thread is about esato creatures in the wild not garbage posters.
Posted by scotsboyuk
@mustafabay
Is there a difference?
Posted by vanquish
wot does posting junkie actually mean, many posts, stupid posts etc.
Posted by paulbang
@dj hey all said in good humor- no hard feelings intended
Posted by Cycovision
@786KBR
no, it's not you
@Vanquish
yeah, post junkie = someone who's addicted to posting so much that they'll post anything anywhere
@Scots
sorry for sending your thread widely off topic, I didn't mean that to happen at all. I shall now refrain from posting again and just await your latest wildlife write-up
Posted by methylated_spirit
I was talking to mince ages ago about doing a thread exactly like this, "Life on the Esato serengheti" i cant remember whether we started it or not...great minds think alike, eh scotty?
Posted by paulbang
@meth lol. . . I think you just insulted scots
.
By the way, where were you for such a long time?
Posted by Glenny
thats just plain stupid, thats why its so goooood
Posted by methylated_spirit
Hahahaha, proof that meths had this idea ages ago! This is a pm i sent to mince-inside...
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Posted by scotsboyuk
@meths
When did you knock that up?:P
Posted by methylated_spirit
har har har! Dammit, i've been gazumped! Ah well, i'm not going to dwell on it...well, maybe a bit, in secret
