Posted by mince-inside
With the sleeves rolled up on their white shirts and cravats removed.
Come on scotsboy, surely you've written something by now.
Edit:I suspect he's watching Grand Designs (TV prog on CH4)
_________________
Pictures in my head
Worst job ever! v's Dream Job
[ This Message was edited by: mince-inside on 2004-09-08 21:08 ]
Posted by scotsboyuk
@mince-inside
I am watching Will & Grace.
@all
I was involved in a bit of a scuffle once. Gather round for I have a tale to tell:
I was standing a very nice girl dinner one evening; the sort of girl one would crack a nut in one's teeth for. We had just finished our meal when the sommelier came over to take our after dinner drinks order, he was informing us of the choices when a brutish looking man brushed past him in a rather forthright manner. The sommelier obviously wasn't up to much as he wobbled knocking over the lady's glass of dessert wine; any sommelier worth his salt should be able to balance an open bottle wine on his head whilst dancing the Charleston without a drop being spilled.
The spilt dessert wine cascaded towards the girl like a Biblical flood. Throwing ettiquette to the wind I removed my napkin from my lap and through it on the table, depsite the meal not being officially over, in an attempt to stop the wine from staining the lady's dress. Alas I failed, afraid of dropping my Churchill I misplaced my throw. The wine drenched the lady, staining her dress and illiciting a gasp of horror from her.
Whilst my dinner date tried vainly to mop up the wine I leapt to my feet, determined to give the brute who charged past a piece of my mind. He stood their agog as I asked him to look at what he had done. The brute, obviously recognising the steely determination in my voice and noticing my warrior like physique, backed down. He apologised to the lady and the sommelier. I sat back down satisfied that the situation had been resolved. I had been so intimidating that the offending chap promptly sent us over a bottle of champers.
All that was left was for me to apologise to the lady for displaying such brutal anger in public, and then it was a round of huzzahs as the band struck up 'Anything Goes'.
Posted by mince-inside
Well done matey - I was expecting pistols at dawn but overall good show old chap.
Posted by switchbitch
Stop making me laugh man, my lip hurts!
Posted by mince-inside
Where's 7th Dan Kimmy and his Kung-Fu tale - not allowed to fight or I'll go to jail - my arse.
He better turn up and answer my problem otherwise he's sacked!
Posted by methylated_spirit
The last fight i was in was *you guessed it* outside a kebab shop! Tw@ decked my pal, so i decked him, then all hell broke loose and me and my pal legged it! Not quite as eloquent as scotsboys!
Posted by SCORPIONKING1982
Ah the good old revenge beating, cant beat it (pardon the pun)
My gf cheated on me a few months back and I beat the shit out the guy who she'd kissed! he was a right slimey bastard, we knew him from the pub and he pretended to be a mate to me while on the side was tryin it on with my lady! he was a gardener for this rich couple and lived in a caravan on their estate, so one night I paid him a visit! I athletically climbed the gates to the estate and made my way to his caravan where I proceded to break all the windows with my bare hands, him cowering inside! he eventually emerged where upon I beat the crap out of him, he didnt even put up a fight! Job done, i turned and walked away, lighting a ciggy as I went, cool as ya like lol Proper messed my hands though, drove myself to hospital too lol
That was my first fight too
Well done switchblade, proud of ya mate 
Posted by kristaga
I would have turned his caravan upside down instead. At least pushed it over on the side. Much more elegant, no blood spilled but I would have made my point.
Posted by SCORPIONKING1982
yeah but blood and scars look cool lol
Posted by Sammy_boy
Jeeez, I've OD'd on testosterone reading this thread!!!
If only all life's problems could be solved by twatting someone. I have to say I probably wouldn't go to the lengths that many here have gone to in these situations.....
.....but I have never been in a situation where a girl has cheated on me. In all probability I'd at least go and ask the guy in question what the hell was going on and demand an explanation. I have generally an even temper, but if it goes, it really goes!
I haven't hit anyone at all though now for about 11 years, the last time being at school at the age of about 14 or 15.
Posted by kimcheeboi
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hey its not that exciting a story...
Thing is i'm a registered black belt in tae kwon do so any fighting will be considered use of excessive forsce by the court, that is if i get caught 
See? not very exciting eh?
Anyway my first scuffle was at the SYMF piano competitions ( i was 14~ish) and this kid just kept talking shit about my parents, so i punched him in the face
Escaped without a scratch, all that happened was the kids mom got mad and i got kicked out.
Posted by Jabe
WTF or ITF?
Posted by methylated_spirit
what do they mean, you berk
Posted by vanquish
yeah yeah switch pull the other one. your blatantly a little girl at her dads computer
hope you hit 'im good. nothin beats a bit of heartrushinbloodpumpinbonecrackinbrainbogglingskullsmashingasswhippin physical violence!
vq - although it could have been avoided with a masseur/vlamm type friendly man2man talk
Posted by methylated_spirit
OOOOH! vlamm may take offense at the suggestion she talks to people "man to man" but i see your point!
Posted by Lynx69
i think i see an essay coming up from vlamm telling you not to cal lher things like that!
Posted by methylated_spirit
Yeah but am i bovvered tho???
Posted by Vlammetje
wouldn't mind a 'man to man' talk with masseur
Posted by mince-inside
Listen is that @Merovingian singing 'Lets get it on'?
Posted by Jabe
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Is that meant for me?
WTF = World Taekwondo Federation
ITF = International Taekwondo Federation
It was a question for Kimcheeboi.
Posted by methylated_spirit
oh right, i was thinking
WTF - what the f...
ITF - ???
Posted by Jabe
It's OK, I suppose it wasn't very clear since I forgot to direct the question to kimcheeboi.
Posted by switchbitch
wtf?
Posted by Sammy_boy
Right now I could do with a fight with the moron whose just stolen the hubcaps off my car!
I'm majorly pissed off, and want to rip the thieving b**tard limb from limb at the moment!
Posted by kimcheeboi
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i don't know--i just have a little stupid card and a certificate in Korean. I'll check.
@uncle meths--
tete a tete might be a better phrase
Posted by soichiro
edited!
[ This Message was edited by: soichiro on 2004-09-11 07:53 ]
Posted by vanquish
hey i nicked some nice porsche hup caps
Posted by mince-inside
When and why?
Posted by methylated_spirit
Vanquish, there is absolutely no honour amongst thieves.
Posted by Sammy_boy
@Vanquish: I BET IT WAS YOU THAT PINCHED THE HUBCAPS OFF MY VAUXAHALL CORSA LAST NIGHT!!!
Although they're not quite in the same league as Aston Martin ones, of course!
I still want to bitch-slap the git that pinched my hubcaps, the car looks odd without them!
Posted by kimcheeboi
the hubcap-pinchin' thread
Posted by *Jojo*
@switchbitch - I hope you can post some pics of yours while in the recuperating stage mate . . . I hope you do recover fast!
Posted by ilia
what have happened to switchbi?
Posted by methylated_spirit
he was in a fight.
Posted by ilia
kool. i can't say i'm a good fighter but never give up.
respect, swithchbi. FIGHTING MAKES US MEN.
Posted by scotsboyuk
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Don't we also need to go hunting and slap other men on the back whilst whooping at sports?
Posted by *Jojo*
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@ilia - All along I really thought that you were a lady back there?
Posted by Guy89
Posted by Sammy_boy
I've never quite worked out the 'fighting makes us men' thing. Although all those morons that keep starting fights on a Friday night when pissed seem to think so. I suspect Illia was taking the piss a little bit there!
Posted by methylated_spirit
I dont start fights, i just finish them
Posted by *Jojo*
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And I just stay in the 'middle' (spectator) - most of the time . . .
Posted by scotsboyuk
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So your a referee then?
Posted by ilia
no ive been understood incorrect i suppose. i did not say we should fight with no reason or because drunk/badmood. definitely no. i meant real guys never give up or stay aside when smo starts a fight, starts making fools of them no matter if other people that see or not. i mean fighting makes us men when it is worth doing for your honor, because tone with no honor, or one who afraids to fight is no man you know. for understanding my position clearer i recommend you reading 'hagakure' or whatever it is called in english (by yamamoto tsunetomo), that book have really changed my lifestyle and lifeview.
Posted by kimcheeboi
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Like you watch other fights and throw bar stools and beer bottles into the fray?
Posted by methylated_spirit
Nah kim, i stand aside, and when someone lands near mer i give them a good hard kick then leg it
Posted by kimcheeboi
awww... projectiles are fun!
Posted by switchbitch
F*ck, this black eye aint goin away!
Posted by mince-inside
Post a pic of ya coupin then ya bam
- at least so I can print off and stick on the fire place to keep the kids away
Posted by methylated_spirit
do the other one and play "Panda"