Posted by *Jojo*
@methylated -spirit - OK! Now, just what do you think will be an appropriate gift for a nice and pretty girl for Christmas? She manage to own almost everything best things that life can ever own/have . . . My friend's budget is around US$ 1K (it's not for me mates, just wanting to heed a good advise for a dear friend) ! Many thanks!
Posted by plasmadog
hear me out uncles,
i have this problem... my girlfriend knows i browse/post on esato. lately she's been spying on what i've been saying here. she knows each and every post of mine.
she never misses an opportunity to bring up something i've posted here. sometimes they're funny, but i feel i'm losing my privilege of privacy and frankly, its really embarassing!
she's really sweet and nice, caring and gentle (i'm saying this cos she's definitely going to read this!!)
help me!
Posted by *Jojo*
@plasmadog - Request @laffen to have your username changed mate! Also, change all the things posted in your avatars - fone model, profiles, place where you live etc. . . . If not possible then might as well 'change' your girl
(joking here of course) !
Posted by mince-inside
@plasmadog our friend @jojo is not that far off the mark, what i'd recommend is 2 Esato accounts (apparently it goes on - schizos). Plasmadog for your 'lad' posts and create a new one for your girley/fluffy posts, the name of which I recommend to be an abbreviation of your firstname then the letter L for loves then the initials of your girlfriend. eg MikLSP
and show her your lovey dovey posts
Posted by plasmadog
hmm..
thanks
but i think she know's i'm plasmadog.
is there anyway in which i can prevent her from viewing my posts and making fun of them? (i'm thinking maybe some voodoo here).
or maybe, u guys can give ur views on the subject.. which proves that i'm not the only one who disapproves of this eavesdropping.
lol
thanks..
but she still is the sweetest, gentlest,kindest of all (i'm required by law to say this stuff)
Posted by Sammy_boy
What a bizarre thread!!
I go away for a week and this is what happens....
Anyway, my question. After spending a week in Malta, and when waiting to be served on food stalls etc. and having folk pushing in and generally not queueing for things, - is it just the British that queue for things? Does 'Johnny Foreigner' have an aversion to waiting their turn? I was very tempted on a couple of occasions to forget my non-violent nature and physically throw these interlopers to the back of the queue.
Am I being too British?
Posted by Vlammetje
Finns queue as well
Posted by plasmadog
| Quote: |
|
also: does it help if i give her chocolate and flowers in a situation like this??
heeeeeeeeellllp
Posted by mince-inside
@plasmadog - Hypnotism is the key (maybe @masseur can post a link). Call it a new relaxation technique and once she’s under your control set your avatar as the trigger to do some housework, so the next time she takes a peek she’ll be turning on her heels and getting the ironing board out it’s a guaranteed win win situation my man. Peace for you and a sharp shirt for the morning. Good luck.
_________________
Pictures in my head
Worst job ever! v's Dream Job
[ This Message was edited by: mince-inside on 2004-09-07 23:02 ]
Posted by plasmadog
lol
thanks mince!
you are a life saver.
anytime u got dirty laundry, don't hesitate in shipping it halfway across the globe!
thanks mate
Posted by mince-inside
@sammy, hope you had a good holiday (save the pics – please
) There’s nothing wrong with being polite especially to young ladies as it makes the queue view more pleasant. However, if it’s a kid give them the back of your hand if it’s a bloke ask them ‘does it say walk this way on my back’ (choose the appropriate language) and when they take a look and reply ‘no’ take one step forward. Sometime a fight is the only way to resolve these queue jumpers (more so at ski resorts!!)
Posted by Sammy_boy
@mince I'll bear that in mind, although I suspect the police will take a dim view of me punching people for queue jumping.
I think if I say to one of these queue jumpers 'oi! the queue starts back here!!' he will give me one of those 'you've just dropped out of a dog's bottom' looks
Posted by kimcheeboi
my application is still being processed
Posted by *Jojo*
@sammy_boy - Filipinos don't queue in line! We have all the impossibles here in Manila - "Only In Th Philippines" ! I guess Americans queue as well, same as with British/Britons!
@mince_inside - 'Bout my last 'Q' (friend's request) . . . gift for a girl who has it all? . . .
Posted by mince-inside
@jojo, this 'friend' the gift depends on what he wants:
Just to stalk: Underwear
Shag and move on: 24 hrs in a posh hotel
A couple of shags: Chocs and flowers are a good foundation
Posted by methylated_spirit
Sammy, the best way to deal with queue jumpers is simple, bitch slap them until they submit and start crying. The q-jumpers are arrogant, and think they are better than you because you are just a "Helmut Foreigner" to them. Show them that we are all equal by giving them a good hard back-hander and stomping on their feet.
Posted by methylated_spirit
jojo: Your "friend" has a thousand U.S. dollars to blow on a present? She already has everything? Buy her something cheap but sentimental, and blow the lot on hookers, beer, and charlie!
plasmadog: Whats she doing near your computer anyway? Relationships are all about sharing and giving, but there must be a line drawn somewhere! Its YOUR account, YOUR forum, tell her to back off! If she wants to be on esato, tell her to create her own account! Then buy some flowers to show you aint upset with her. The secret here is to be kindly, but you must be firm!
_________________
Hello, Scroto!
P800,P900,LG8110
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2004-09-08 09:20 ]
Posted by *Jojo*
| Quote: |
|
@mince-inside & metylated_spirit - Many thanks for the advise mates, I told my friend 'bout your opinions . . . and he told me to 'leave' esato at once (tehehehehe) - just kidding here as always! Yup, something sentimental, I guess, he'll give her an SE S700 when it is already out here in Manila, that is, if it does not go more than a grand US dollars! What is that - 'charlie' mate ? Is that the old 'cologne' of the 70's, similar with those of Jovan and Old Spice?
@methylated_spirit - Just wonderin' here mate . . . what is it with @plasmadog that has to be 'firm' with/against her girlfriend?
Posted by methylated_spirit
jojo, charlie is...erm...well..its what you are going to call the Springer spaniel you buy with the money!
He has to be firm on this issue because if he's not, she will walk all over him for the rest of his life!
Posted by methylated_spirit
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT DUE TONIGHT!!!!
Watch this space!
Posted by *Jojo*
What are you giving away mates? Celfones . . . or accessories?
Posted by methylated_spirit
Ladies and Gentlemen, mince-inside and methylated_spirit are proud to present, by popular demand...
Kimcheeboi!
This fine, upstanding young counsellor will be available to tend to your woes, needs, and wants up to and including Sunday the 12th of September! We feel he will be a great addition to the team, and, should he prove popular, he will be making regular guest appearances.
Thank you for your attention, i will now hand you over to the man himself.
Posted by mince-inside
OK Kimcheeboi here's my problem. I'm interviewing 3 implimentation coordination assisitants starting at 9am GMT. They are all girls, other than the usual tits and arse what other attributes shall I look for?
Posted by kimcheeboi
I'm very glad to be a part of this endeavor to bring sound and useful advice to all the folks on esato.
Folks, feel free to ask away, as I've been there, done that!*
Mincey-wincey, you seem to have quite a problem!
| Quote: |
|
Well, first of all, you can't be so shallow. You have to examine the inside! Does she have implants? Also watch for computer skills! Can she correctly manipulate a 3.5 floppy?
*excpetions may happen
[ This Message was edited by: KiMcHeEbOi on 2004-09-09 06:05 ]
Posted by mince-inside
thanks Kim
BTW my PC's quite old and the floppy is 5 1/4" thank you.
Posted by methylated_spirit
Kim, my sister is moving to New Zealand on the 20th, and i'm worried now switchbitch is single, he will try to stick his winkie in her? What do you suggest? I dont want to be related to him or anything, he goes around beating people up!
_________________
Hello, Scroto!
P800,P900,LG8110
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2004-09-08 22:19 ]
Posted by kimcheeboi
well the solution is quite simple but elegant--you can buy a chasity belt at any of your local medieval retailers!
(also known as the 'winkie shredder')
Posted by SCORPIONKING1982
KiMcHeEbOi I have a dilema mate!
I suspect my gf of being a cheating lying ho, should I
a) kick her ass
b) wreck her car
c) none of the above
Posted by kimcheeboi
It seems to me as if you have not presented me a full list of choices!
what about:
d) all of the above ?
Posted by SCORPIONKING1982
ah touche! you are certainly wise
Posted by methylated_spirit
Scorpionking, may i just add an appendix to kimcheebois answer, and recommend setting fire to her garage? Works for me, every time.
Posted by switchbitch
I smashed a chicks car up with a 3 and a 1/2 pound wood axe once, it was extremely liberating.
Hey meths what town is your sis moving to? Ill look after her mate.
Posted by Sammy_boy
@switch, you sound like one person NOT to mess with!!
My new best friend!!!!
Posted by methylated_spirit
I dont know where she's going actually, i'll need to ask!!!!
Posted by methylated_spirit
mince, kim, i need your help. Does it really make a difference if you brush your teeth side-to-side or up-and-down?
Posted by mince-inside
Up and down first to clean ya gums man. You dont want gingervitis do you.
Edit:Where's the night shift boy?
Where's our bluechip client? Hope he's not stuck in some bitch that decided to run off whilst clamped tight
_________________
Pictures in my head
Worst job ever! v's Dream Job
[ This Message was edited by: mince-inside on 2004-09-09 22:14 ]
Posted by methylated_spirit
Yeah but, its like "no, johhny *SLAP* not side to side, up and down" Its not exactly endagering anyone is it? Your gums still get done side-to-side IMHO
Posted by methylated_spirit
mince, which "implementation coordination assistant" did you go for?
EDIT: Not much chance of that happening to HIM lol
_________________
Hello, Scroto!
P800,P900,LG8110
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2004-09-09 22:22 ]
Posted by mince-inside
None... Getting one more one Thursday to 'try before I buy'
Posted by mince-inside
Another one on the PM...
Case 2 - Canine dilemma
This was from a gentleman into the hunting, shooting and fishing scene and this sorry dilemma involves his oldest black Labrador "Nelson". Sadly Nelson is now 14 years old and has lost the use of his hind legs and the quandary was whether it's best to shoot the dog in the head as it's the life he's only known or got to the local Veterinary Surgery and have him euthansed.
M&M’s Answer
Neither my friend, simply but a black swimming hat on his head, black flippers front legs and cover Nelson in Vaseline (steady @jojo) and now you have a new pet Seal allowing him to die of old age with a certain level of dignity
Posted by methylated_spirit
If he was such a prized pet, go for he lethal injection, then have him stuffed and mounted (steady, jojo). However, you live a certain way, im sure you would want a fitting end. Blow its brains across a field, yeah thats fitting.
_________________
Hello, Scroto!
P800,P900,LG8110
[ This Message was edited by: methylated_spirit on 2004-09-10 09:46 ]
Posted by kimcheeboi
| Quote: |
|
First of all, let me remind you that brushing your teeth is a crucial part of your daily hygiene. However, if you really do want that ¡°Somali smile¡±, the best option is not to brush your teeth at all!
If you MUST, however, I recommend you staple your toothbrush to the wall, apply toothpaste, position your mouth correctly, and listen to some head-banging house music! Have fun!
Posted by methylated_spirit
Thank you, i think i'll try that. What music do you suggest? AC/DC? The Prodigy? Coldplay?
Posted by kimcheeboi
May I suggest some Mozart or brahms, as they really get the party rockin¡¯!
Posted by methylated_spirit
bollocks, i've decided. Guns 'n' Roses!
Posted by kimcheeboi
whatever floats your boat!
Posted by *Jojo*
. . . . .
Posted by methylated_spirit
Guys, another problem! I've got no money to go out, so do i watch only fools and horses dvd, or do i watch Peter kay live dvd?
Posted by kimcheeboi
order some good porn and... oh never mind
Have you heard of Dave Chapelle?
Posted by methylated_spirit
I've heard of him, but i dont really know anything about him, who is he?