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Esato Mock Elections


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Posted by scotsboyuk
Following on from the discussion in the 'Democracy on Esato' thread, I thought that it might be interesting to see who Esatonians would vote for if we could elect moderators. I think it could be quite an interesting experiment in determining how Esatonians would want Esato run if they could choose. I should also note at this point that this is not intended as any sort of challenge to, or criticism of, the current moderators.
Anyone who would like to be (mock) moderators please announce their candidacy and choose a running mate (why not?) and once we have three candidates we can have a vote.
I would therefore like to announce my own candidacy for the position of moderator with Vlammetje as my vice-moderator.

_________________
"I may be drunk my dear woman, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly." WSC

[ This Message was edited by: GOwin on 2004-07-15 02:54 ]


Posted by Lynx69
I seriuosly think Esato is fine as it is with the running of it, but for the purpose of this 'test' i would like to be a candidate and my assistant would be.... :thinks:

Dunno...ME!!!!

Who wants to be my assistant?

_________________
Cats have 9 lives, people have 1, mess with wiv me and u'll have none!
Dont hate the player-Hate the game!
Traders's Guild

[ This Message was edited by: Lynx69 on 2004-07-14 20:37 ]

[ This Message was edited by: Lynx69 on 2004-07-14 20:38 ]

Posted by scotsboyuk
The actual polling won't start until all candidates and running mates have announced their intentions and each candidate has had a chance to announce his or her 'policies'.
There is only one candidacy left, who will it be?

Posted by Lynx69
Ok, if Axxxr ent gonna be a candidate then he can be my assistant

My policies are as follow:

Our promises to the public:
for the sake of competition, we will NOT keep things the way they are )

Seriously-

* We will enable personal avatars
* We will implement a buddy list
* We will promote Masseur to Junior Admin giving him mthe control for small things like email changes because he is online more often.
* We will employ the services of someone who cando things like the buddy list for us, so that Laffen can ask him/her to do them for him is he doesnt have the time to.
* We will set up a section and will take in mind every suggestion you have for Esato!
*We will keep all mods and the God will stay as God
* We will set up new skins for Esato and let you choose what one you like the best.

We have the ablility to change these term before polling starts, so my Assistant can have his say


Vote For Us





_________________
Cats have 9 lives, people have 1, mess with wiv me and u'll have none!
Dont hate the player-Hate the game!
Traders's Guild


[ This Message was edited by: Lynx69 on 2004-07-14 20:56 ]

Posted by scotsboyuk
Come on chaps and chapesses, vote Scots & Vlamm, you know it makes perfect sense! A vote for us is a vote for common sense.
If we have a look at the current competition we can see that they haven’t even got any policies! A vote for Lynx69 and axxxr is a vote to sell Esato down the river, they will sell of the non SE portions of the board and cut the number of jobs here, is that what you want more bureaucracy, more red tape, more money being wasted?


One more candidacy is left!

Posted by Lynx69
Please read my Real terms above
We will also promote other sections for phones that are non because we feel it this should be fair amongst other manufacturers.


Posted by wapchimp
I suggested the buddy list

But I don't want to be a mod. I feel the need for a few more mods but some mods have said they are coping fine.

_________________
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The BEST & ONLY retro xhtml wap site.

[ This Message was edited by: orangeman on 2004-07-14 21:15 ]

Posted by scotsboyuk
Friends, Esatonians, SE users, lend me your ears! The pathetic Lynx69 & axxxr ticket is simply using our policies, they have no ideas and what's more they would probably sell your granny's off to the highest bidder.

Scots & Vlamm would like to announce the following new policies:

*The Esato Shop will be banned from selling mouse pads to stop this awful trade which offends so many mice around the world.

*The official language of Esato will be Esperanto!

Vote Scots & Vlamm!

Posted by Vlammetje
Quote:

On 2004-07-14 22:03:09, jojo51069 wrote:
it just feels awkward talking to someone who does not comply/reply back, it's like talking to the wind, much better to talk to a trained/verbal gymnast - parrot




We wish to assure you all we will always reply to all PM's

Posted by scotsboyuk
@orangeman

What about being our political advisor or campaign manager?

@all

There is still one more candidacy left!

Vote Scots & Vlamm on Polling Day!

Posted by wapchimp
OK i'll be general of the armed forces. Fair but harsh

Posted by scotsboyuk
@orangeman

Very well, all is set for our complete conqu ... er I mean election victory.

Vote Scots & Vlamm!

Posted by Vlammetje
glad to have you on board orangeman

Posted by *Jojo*
@scotsboyuk - Nice idea mate Are you planning to remove the existing ones in office I think you'll be better off in joining the presidential race in the US this coming November, maybe there you can even outdo Bush
Hmmm . . . for the love of the game, I'll vote for:

1. @flying finn - To have some 'neutrality' here at esato! Nokia will be openly be discussed in the forums without getting/being flamed at

2. @gelfen or @bianca or @vlammetje or @switchbitch or @pachy - as his running mate.

Posted by boto43
Where is Vlamm's thread ? Good job scot. U need some1 from eastern Europe for mod. I mean bobafet and elrond

Posted by wapchimp
I think esato needs some more styles (themes for the board) they are very easy to implement and users can even choose their prefered look, It works very well.

We could even start a competition for those who can edit & make styles for phpbb boards. What do you think?

_________________
wapchimp.com

The BEST & ONLY retro xhtml wap site.

[ This Message was edited by: orangeman on 2004-07-14 21:26 ]

Posted by scotsboyuk
Well apart from jojo proposing candidates, is anyone going to declare their intentions for the third position?
If not then let the voting begin!

Vote Scots & Vlamm!

Posted by *Jojo*
@gowin, @cytech, @arnoldc, @tranquil, @masseur and @:???: - better watch your backs mates There's a new batch of wannabees who wants your place Looks like even @laffen will be placed out of commission here . . .

Posted by Vlammetje
Come on now esatonians! You know that deep down inside, there has got to be another person longng for total and absolute power!! Come forward! take a shot at it!


VOTE SCOTS & VLAM!!!!!!!

Posted by kimcheeboi
This thread is as garbage-y as garbage gets (note all the "vote xxxxxx for moderator" threads in garbage), and therefore in accordance with @scotsboyuk's and @vlamm's official policies it should be deleted or locked.

vote @scotsboy and @vlamm!

(that is, once they are elected, so...)

_________________
Just a while ago my soul was confused, amused at what it did not know
Days went by, and amusement cried, I decided to let my soul fly on by itself , pick
happiness up and bring it back to the shelf
-O.A.R.

[ This Message was edited by: KiMcHeEbOi on 2004-07-14 21:42 ]

Posted by scotsboyuk
Who else will step up to the mantle and attempt to steer that proud and beautiful ship we call Esato through the stormy seas of mobile news and tosh posts, avoiding the rocky shoals of site maintenance and bringing her into the safe harbour of quality advice and discussion on all things mobile?
Ask not what your forum can do for you, but what you can do for your forum!

The last candidacy is still open, who will step up and take the challenge of leading Esato into the twenty first century?

VOTE SCOTS & VLAMM!

Posted by wapchimp
Give people time to respond you are to eager young jedi's

Posted by Gigs
(Decides just to be a reporter being a long time reader first time encumbant ;P)

"Yes welcome all to this crisp chilly morning at 1 esato drive where the hum of yet another well crafted yet completely fruitless debate is about to begin. The big questions on everyones lips, the hard hitting issues are who will be the third candidate on the grassy knoll? How corruptable shall the new officials be? Will the P910 have new features or will it just look shiney? Shiney. Thats an issue, are our candidates shiney? Stay tuned.

It seems that in general both parties seem to have fairly similar policies. What seperates them? Will it be another stunning sheep joke by axxxr? Or a half screen monologue from scotsboy? What makes these candidates shine out?

Recent BirdOnTheStreet polls suggest that 66% of those surveyed feel that they'll vote with those that offer the most candy. An additional 22% of those surveyed feel that while issues are important, its who they'll actually believe in the end and who is hiding cellphones of mass destruction. (Polls have a 99% margin of error and maybe factually incorrect)

For NZNN I'm Cheap nBoughtEzilee."



Posted by scotsboyuk
@KiMcHeEbOi

It's also in keeping with our policy of excercising our chuckle muscles from tiem to time.

@orangeman

Watch your tongue or I'll demote you down to private! Just remember who it is that is paying you good money to under mine the opppo ... er promote our worthy and noble cause!

Posted by Vlammetje
orangeman: you as a military should know the element of surprise is a good thing on our part


kimchee: there is a large difference between humour shared by many and humour enjoyed by the poster alone. So far this is a success, so why not keep at it?


Posted by Lynx69
Im back for a few mins and im going now but one thing before i go-

If you dont vote for us then you will have to find your own news

Ill be back....son!

Axxxr can take over when hes back (if he agrees to being my assistant )


Posted by scotsboyuk
We are announcing that under our inspired leadership Esato would launch a just war against Howard Forums. We have reason to believe that Howard Forums is massing for a major attack on Esato and we will not stand idly by and let our glorious forum be taken from us; we shall strike at Howard Forums first. The Howardians will crumble before our mighty attack and our brave troops.
It is also our intention to commit Esato to a programme of obtaining a Weapon of Mass Destruction, an old Nokia battery prone to exploding. With this we shall safeguard Esato for ourselves and Newbies for generations to come.

VOTE SCOTS & VLAMM!
The peaceful choice.

Posted by wapchimp
I'll rally the troops then

Posted by scotsboyuk
Is anyone going to be the third candidate?

Posted by scotsboyuk
If no one is going to declare for the third position then I would think that it is time to vote. Please people, cast your votes for the candidate of your choice.

VOTE SCOTS & VLAMM!
THE choice of the sane.

Posted by slattery69
if been the third candidate means i dont have to do anything then i shall put myself forward with the promise of spin sexing things up and absolutly no action what so ever

Posted by Vlammetje
VOTE SCOTS & VLAM!

Posted by Residentevil
Lynx69 is underage. Any minimum age we want to set?

Posted by batesie
i would like to take part as a candidate, with axxxr (offered him a better package & stretch mercedes)...

Posted by Vlammetje



I see how the opponents are fighting over one running mate..... keep it up fellas! I am sure we can use this in our campaign

Posted by batesie
we go back a long way, check the 'thanks axxxr!' thread... with him on my side we'll win a landslide victory...

Posted by Gigs
"Breaking News form the NZNN Newsfloor!

Cookiedough is the perfect internet snack.

Now back to our election coverage. Candidates for the yet unknown third person party appear to be silent, could this be a concerted attack by the silent majority? A ploy to outwit the 2 very vocal and media prominent parties? Time will tell!

Sources direct from our Scots and Vlam camp report that military action appears to be in the air, with possible rumours about a pre-emptive strike against the extremist howards. We wonder what intelligence this is based on, have talks already broken down between Coffee and Narn? Could not further sanctions at petitiononline prove to better the process between the extremists and the peoples ruplublic of esato? Be sure that we'll be keeping a close eye on this situation as it continues to develop.

This just handed to me. A sweet iced mocha, oh and this news sheet. Thankyou Debbie.

A third candidate has just announced their running! With the promise of political intregue and the promise of a nothing new policy, we suspect the new running mate to be very promising indeed!

With things heating up surely it can't be long until we find the heads of each major party clearly outlining how they will infact be different from each other. Stay tuned folks! This things heating up to be hotter than P800 owners at the time of the P900 release!

For NZNN, i'm Cheap nExpendable."


Posted by lovewalrus
How about 1 additional sub-moderator from each country involved in ESATO?

Posted by *Jojo*
@lovewalrus - That will just be too much here mate

Posted by batesie
quality coverage by @gigs...



This message was posted from a P900

##official announcement## our polices will be based on a 'polishing the edges' on an already outstanding institution that easto already is....

[ This Message was edited by: batesie on 2004-07-14 23:37 ]


Posted by scotsboyuk
We have three candidates people! Now is the time to vote.

If you want an Esato that is proud and glorious, an Esato that shines brightly in the sunlight, an Esato with lots of flags and banners, an Esato to be proud of, then vote Scots & Vlamm.
We welcome all here at Scots & Vlamm, or Scamm, as our political party is called, so please do not hesitate to join our ranks.
I hope to be speaking to you very soon, not as a candidate, but as your proud and glorious leader. A vote for the Scamm party is a vote for less talk of Nokia and more talk of SE, a vote for Scots & Vlamm is a vote for Esato!
Don't let our opponents fool you with their flashy campaigns funded by dirty money, don't let them sell Esato down the river; don't let them destroy our proud and ancient community here. We will abolish this republic nonsense and install the proper form of government, a constitutional monarchy. Be proud to call yourselves Esatonian, drape yourselves in our proud banner; we can hear your cries for more smiley and more avatars and we will deliver. We are not the party of broken promises, just look at our opponents, they can’t even decide who will stand for election, we are the party of strength and vigour, we are the party of health and vitality, use your vote to bring us to power, use your vote to make Esato a better place.


VOTE SCOTS & VLAMM!
The environmental choice.

Posted by axxxr
I'm with batesie!

Posted by Gigs
(Amazingly stunning graphic introduction that leaves you breathless in antici..........pation)

"Welcome back to NZNN. We interupt continuing coverage of the Blair Witch teach yourself Home Video classes to bring you more on the elections.

Today seems to be coming to a close with all the parties looking strong. The various parties all have their issues and are bringing them to a forefront in a race that looks to be more exciting that a debate on non existant emerging models. Of the candidates we feel that both Vlamm and batesie have been particularly strong candidates, showing not only a keen intellect for finance - but an apprication for the future and ensuring job security.

While candidates are very busy, we managed to schedule in an interview with Vlamm from the Scamm party. I take you now to this interview conducted by one of our top political reporters, Shak nVac.

(Shuffles paper slightly as screen expands to interveiw)
(- Shak nVac -) Vlamm, thankyou for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk with us today. Given the nature of these elections we felt it would be a little unjustified asking you the usual questions of wether lime is the best flavour for a milkshake, or should you use a screen protector when out in your electorate. Instead, we thought we'd gift you some screentime to say what really matters and address the public.
(- Vlamm -) Thankyou. Vlamm I am, Vlamm from Scamm, said Vlamm. Vote for Scamm! Else BLAMM! Vlamm from Scamm.
(- Shak nVac -)(Wiping a tear from eye) Well I'm not sure what to say, its hard hitting, its honest, thought provoking, frankly i'm not sure I can do Vlamms comments justice.

(Swivels chair towards screen with a penetrating serious stare)

Well.. The truth in its purest form. I must say I'm a little choked up myself, exscuse me.

(Takes a sip form something looking like water, but tasting alot like Vodka)

In further election news.

Lynx's party today came out strong with a message of equality in the posting place and a hearing of the peoples voice. One can only onder what the peoples voice infact sounds like, is it strained or will it sing to Lynxs tune? Time will tell how much talk time the peoples voice actually gets.

Batesies party shocked and sent other parties issue platforms reeling when their party announced today that infact esatos economy was fine and mearly in need of a little polishing. We can only wait to see how the opposition parties defend their stances against such scathing criticism.

Batesies party also caused another shock announcing Axxxr also as his second. Axxxr, also courted by Lynxs party has so far been unreachable for comment. Sources close to the Right Hon. Mayor of Newsthread however claim that Axxxr is infact sheeping.. oh excuse me, sleeping it of.. er currently thinking hard on all sides of the issues before coming out with an official statement later.

We'll be keeping our eyes on this story as it unfolds.

Possibly controversial signings in the Scamm camp today as they signed on long time veteran Orangeman to their military style campaign. Orangeman, a veteran of such battles as the great Manufacturers debate and the earlier bluetooth "Pair and Awe" trouble months has caused quite a stir when tensions appear to be rising with the extremist howards. We can ony wonder, will this Duo now have pro support?

Lastely we're currently waiting to see what the word is from the current Monarch Masseur. His office has been very quiet on which if any party has an endorsement or wether he's just waiting on a new model. Anticipation is high.

Remember to keep watching the only station willing to bring you the best in paid for truth as it happens. You can bank it to us! Our political reporters abroad in the google strip, and here at home continue to work hard to bring you upto the hour news as it happens.

You've been watching NZNN, I'm Cheap Nexchangable, Goodnight."

(Really cool credit sequence that for some reason features a sequence out of an old style computer game)

Posted by Gigs
(Gawd.. I am bored at work )

Posted by Residentevil
Just like real politics a lotta talk and hot air, but no action.

Posted by Gigs
Usually the action comes after you've been elected. ;D


Posted by *Jojo*
@gigs- Here in Manila it's the other way around Action comes when they are grandstanding their platforms during the campaign period . After elected, you will start seeing new cars, new houses new ladies under their belts If you can consider 'corruption' as an action thing . . . maybe with less movement, just pure signing in the vouchers

Posted by Gigs
Hmm corruption.. wimmin... cars.. I am in the wrng country and profession ;D

(I have always wondered why they don't give things like organised crime and international killer as occupations for trouble kids in school. Pays great, you get to travel, meet new people..)

Any of our parties offering such radically free thinking education policies? You could buy a vote easily


Posted by scotsboyuk
There now features a party political broadcast on behalf of the Scumm party.

Brave Esatonians as you know the situation with Howard Forums is fast deteriorating, vote us into office to ensure an Esatonian victory. I cannot begin to describe to you the horrors that a Howard victory would bring ... harsh moderators, endless technobabble and the loss of SE's special status.
Lynx69, axxxr, batesie and our other opponents would sit back and do nothing whilst advance parties stormed our forums, you wouldn't stand a chance! We here at Scumm are commited to fighting the enemy on all fronts.
We urge every Esatonian to join E.L.F. and defend our ... er, your forum, and remember, a new donkey to whoever brings me the head of General Montoya before the end of the rainy season!

All Hail Scumm!
All Hail E.L.F.
VOTE SCOTS & VLAMM
The moderate man's choice.

Posted by Residentevil
This is kinda getting silly.


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