Posted by gelfen
as requested, i have started putting actual jokes in the Post Your funny Jokes Here thread. i don't think this particular one falls into that category. if i'm mistaken, can a mod let me know?
HOW TO STAY AWAKE AT MEETINGS
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x 5" is a good
size. Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That
will give you 25 one inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
- synergy
- strategic fit
- core competencies
- best practice
- bottom line
- (collective) results
- lessons learned
- 24/7
- out of the loop
- benchmark
- value-added
- capacity building
- win-win
- think outside the box
- fast track
- results-driven
- empower (or empowerment)
- knowledge base
- at the end of the day
- collaborative/team approach
- next steps
- client focus(ed)
- paradigm
- horizontality
- leverage and last but not least
- MOVING FORWARD......
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,
stand up and shout, "BULLSHIT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "BullShit Bingo" players:
"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
-Paul D.,Caloundra
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D.,Rockhampton
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us
waited for the fifth box."
- Ben G., Sydney
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours."
- Kathleen L., Canberra
_________________
Gee, does that beat me? I only got two pair - two aces, and another two.
[ This Message was edited by: gelfen on 2003-12-12 04:32 ]
Posted by 701
Hahaha well, i wont b able2use it soon cuz i am on vacation already but it'll come a day;-)
Posted by 701
Hahaha well, i wont b able2use it soon cuz i am on vacation already but it'll come a day;-)
Posted by Elrond
:lol: Wish I had know that this week. Probably I wouldn't be bored during last meeting.
Posted by amagab
THE 10 TOP THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD SAY AT A MEETING
I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a f*ck.
How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ahhh, I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?
The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Posted by *Jojo*
I always fall to sleep during meetings . . . but I am surely awake during 'matings' . . . .