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sarcastic windows 98 review

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Posted by paul101
computer:

Intel Core 4 Duo
2 GB DDR RAM
160 GB 7200 RPM disk
512 meg ATI gaphics (not sure about model)

Installation:

installation was pretty painless, took 15 - 20 minutes

Installation proceeded, quickly , done in 20 minutes, but after installation... something went horribly wrong, Windows 98 froze on bootup! after searching Microsoft's articles, I came across one that says if you have a processor that is faster than 500 Mhz, Windows 98 will freeze (kind of like Vista), installing the patch was relatively painless... Decided to boot this time. this time telling me I didn't have enough RAM, then froze (kind of like Vista)

by then i was pretty exhausted, my dad came into my room and asked me what i was doing... he rolled his eyes when i told him i was installing windows 98. anyways, he took it and messed around with it...

the next day i woke up, booted up the pc... Windows 98 did indeed start up, but my sound, ethernet, and video acceleration did not work at all (kind of like in Windows Vista).

after looking through articles on the Virgin site (:lol:) i got the internet up and working, i could now surf the net!!

I went to update Windows 98 with several dozen patches, right after installation, (kind of like Vista.)

First impressions

Well, here I am, looking at Windows 98, it's been a while (10 years to be exact) , and I can honestly say it's good to be back, especially after trying to use Windows Vista.


Out of the box I had Microsoft Internet Explorer, the world's most advanced web browser ever!


Windows 98 also has the worlds best multimedia applications, Windows Media Player 6.4, and Sound Recorder, these utilities all integrate with each other, in the sense that Sound Recorder can record WAV files, and Windows Media Player can play them.

games taht worked on wibloze 98:


Games:

Microsoft's Halo: Combat Evolved
American McGee's Alice
Quake III: Arena
Sierra's EarthSiege and EarthSiege 2
Caesar
Star Wars: Rogue Squadon (using the Glidos wrapper to emulate 3dFX Glide)
Tomb Raider 1-3 (Glidos)
Carmageddon
Carmageddon II: Carpocalypse Now!
Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic I and II
roller coaster tycoon 3

games that didnt work:

Sauerbraten caused a Blue Screen of Death every time I tried to launch it, thats probably because it's free and open source software!! all free and open source software contains computer viruses... because Microsoft told me that, and I trust them...

Most of the games I listed above won't run at all on Windows Vista, I guess vista's just not advanced enough...


Applications: (Just to see what the Linux Communists have cooked up... I installed some of their programs, although I'm almost certain they've backdoored my operating system):

Mozilla Firefox 3.0
Winamp
VLC Media Player (It actually played DVD's!!)
Pidgin Instant Messenger


Windows 98 has an advanced feature that won't allow harmful software to install on the system, (kind of like Windows Vista), to test it out, I attempted to install Apple iTunes... Windows 98 told me that iTunes performed an illegal operation, and proceeded to dump out a list of all the Microsoft patents Apple violated.

And while we're discussing missing functionality, where do I get a plug in for Pidgin that supports the pop up windows and all the dialog boxes that come up when I'm not certain that I wanted to shut down Yahoo Messenger?

Mozilla Firefox supports Adblock and pop-up blocking, and doesn't even work, which is why I repeat my argument that those Linux communists are up to no good, after all, if a website owner can't install spyware on my machine... how will that man go home and feed his children!!??

On a side note, I'm disturbed that all this free and open source software was missed by Windows' malicious software detection feature, I must need file updates... (again)

what else can Winblows 98 do?????

i was able to mount my usb drive (using drivers i got off of a super geeky site)... i was able to copy media to it through an advanced, drag-and-drop interface that functioned so well, that Apple has yet to come up with anything better, it's called, I opened the folder, selected my files, and dropped them in, oh yeah, and it just worked.

windows 98 supports Desktop wallpapers, something that Apple clearly stole from Microsoft for OS X, but windows 98 supports the worlds most advanced image compression format, bitmaps. ( )

Windows 98 has a super advanced audio CD ripping system, I can put my microphone up to the speakers, and hit the record button in Sound Recorder!!! and viola!

Windows 98 ships with a complete office suite, it's called notepad, it even supports advanced features like Word Wrap, surely those open source communists will fear microsoft's innovation!!

Windows 98 also ships with the most advanced image editing tool, MsPaint, but it wouldn't open any of my pictures from my P1i or k750i, it told me the format was not supported, I guess that means that I'll have to throw the phones away

Windows 98 supports complete computer backups, just format and prepare 100,000 1.44 Megabyte floppy disks, and label them in sequence.


windows 98 comes with DirectX 3.0, for all of you that are ready to take your gaming to the next level, this thing renders like you've never seen, H--L YEAH!!


another thing that caught my interest, was that the product activation system must have malfunctioned, i hope they can get it back up and running, because i'd hate to think that I'm running "non-nenuine" windows 98. (look, they're on to me already)

Now, the interface is pretty boring... but thats easy to fux using an advanced program called windowblinds , i can now easily change my themes and adjust the transparency in vista, using mega amounts of ram (kind of like in windows wista)


so, opinion time, and winner by a mile.... winblows98!!

on a side note Windows 98 has the best community support system of any operating system, if you ever need help, you just load Microsoft irc chat service go into any chat room and ask how to get things done in Windows 98... the people are so nice and helpful, it only took 5 seconds before someone told me how to fix Windows should anything go wrong. apparently Microsoft has this hidden support utility that you load by going to the MS-DOS command prompt and typing "format c: /q"


ah yes! and i forgot, windows 98 comes with a nifty new feature called "spell check", helped me allot when typing this up




[ This Message was edited by: paul101 on 2008-04-10 11:51 ]


Posted by djtwistter
your r getting way to bored at home, go out make freinds and you would fell better

Posted by Cycovision
^^^



98 SE was alright as long as you saved your work every 20 seconds or so because of the likelyhood of a BSOD. It was certainly better than XP sp1, I holded out until sp2 before upgrading because I didn't fancy getting all of those viruses.

Posted by paul101
antivirus?? oops

Posted by Muhammad-Oli
So which is it? Windows 95 or 98? (you wrote 95 a couple of times)

Posted by arien617

On 2008-04-10 01:23:03, djtwistter wrote:
your r getting way to bored at home, go out make freinds and you would fell better

Go to school and learn to write without making any mistakes.

EDIT: @Paul
!!

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[ This Message was edited by: arien617 on 2008-04-10 07:39 ]

Posted by Rishone
This is the best Win98 (95 ?) review ever i read. Thanx Paul101, now am thinking about getting one for me also. Vista is pretty much outdated. now.

[ This Message was edited by: rishone on 2008-04-10 08:10 ]

Posted by paul101
i was going to do a review of windows 95, but that was a catastrophic failure!

Posted by Xugaa
Kind of like Vista blah blah...

Not to doubt the problems people have with Windows, but I haven't experienced one problem with Vista as of yet. So far it has been fast, reliable, it looks great, all my games and programs work perfectly, security is fine, has all the features one would need and it's nice to see updates and new features being supplied as often as possible etc.

In fact 98 and XP caused me far more problems than Vista 'imo' ever will. Still, I did see the funny point about the review and it was good.



[ This Message was edited by: Xugaa on 2008-04-10 12:17 ]

Posted by Daedalus85

On 2008-04-10 08:39:06, arien617 wrote:

On 2008-04-10 01:23:03, djtwistter wrote:
your r getting way to bored at home, go out make freinds and you would fell better

Go to school and learn to write without making any mistakes.




*applauds* And may I add to that, djtwistter (what a chavvy name for a start), you're one to talk if you're sitting here on a forum dedicated to mobile phones


And Vistas not that bad, but I won't be moving from XP for a little bit.


Anyway, if you don't like Vista, don't use it, noones making you.

Posted by Muhammad-Oli

On 2008-04-10 12:58:29, Xugaa wrote:
Kind of like Vista blah blah...

Not to doubt the problems people have with Windows, but I haven't experienced one problem with Vista as of yet. So far it has been fast, reliable, it looks great, all my games and programs work perfectly, security is fine, has all the features one would need and it's nice to see updates and new features being supplied as often as possible etc.

In fact 98 and XP caused me far more problems than Vista 'imo' ever will. Still, I did see the funny point about the review and it was good.



Yeah I agree. Its a funny post, but none of my family have experienced any problems at all with my dad's two vista computers. Before that we had 98 and it was a piece of sh*t that couldn't go a day without messing up.

Posted by Cycovision
*Grabs the fire extinguisher*

I love the way that the most innocent of posts can turn into a flame war

I might do a review of MSDOS 6 later, if I get the time...

Posted by Muhammad-Oli
Lol I don't think any of us are flaming him. Maybe we should have added a ' ' into our posts or something. We're just saying Vista ain't so bad. <---there ya go.

Posted by Trev1982
haha nice one cyco,

Posted by Cycovision
Ooooh yes, I love a good smilie!



Ahhh, that's better!

Posted by Xugaa
Post edited, implimented for happy affect

Posted by Muhammad-Oli
Hahaha nice one.

Posted by djtwistter
i digg this lol http://digg.com/microsoft/sarcastic_windows_98_review

Posted by Daedalus85
Geek? Us?

Again, with the whole 'you on a phone forum' thing

Posted by Cycovision


There's something about that guy that makes me want to smack him in the mouth, I don't know why...

Posted by Daedalus85
Me?

Posted by Muhammad-Oli
Lol he means the fella in the picture!


EDIT: Unless thats you in the picture...
_________________


[ This Message was edited by: Muhammad-Oli on 2008-04-10 14:17 ]

Posted by Cycovision
@Daedalus85

Nah, I don't want to smack you in the mouth

You work in a mobile phone shop, don't you? You might come in useful to me one day

Posted by Daedalus85
lol, exactly, I have the power to cut you all off!

And sorry, didn't see the pic, I thought he was refering to me in the previous post lol, but as funny as that t-shirt is, the guy who wears it looks like he takes it seriously

Posted by ares
who said Vista is not so bad??? i want to kill him!!!

Posted by Muhammad-Oli

On 2008-04-10 17:36:15, ares wrote:
who said Vista is not so bad??? i want to kill him!!!



I said it. Come get me.


Posted by Danny_BFC

On 2008-04-10 01:23:03, djtwistter wrote:
your r getting way to bored at home, go out make freinds and you would fell better


Bitch i was going to say that

Sorry i didn't get the joke paul :\
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[ This Message was edited by: ..:/Ğanny:.. on 2008-04-10 17:12 ]

Posted by paul101

On 2008-04-10 17:44:39, Muhammad-Oli wrote:

On 2008-04-10 17:36:15, ares wrote:
who said Vista is not so bad??? i want to kill him!!!



I said it. Come get me.





i said it too, don't eat me!!

Posted by Muhammad-Oli
Is this excuse for my family's old Windows 98 computer not turning on as lame as it sounds?

"The Sound Blaster PCI128 driver cannot load MIDI waveset. MIDI playback has been disabled"

After that it says it can't turn on without reinstalling Windows... What the heck is that all about?

Posted by Cycovision
HaHaHa! That's a classic error, we used to get it a lot in the workshop! Ahhh, happy days...

I could fix it sometimes but most of the time I just did as it suggested and reinstalled the bloody thing

Posted by paul101
lol ive still got windows 98 installed on my pc!

Posted by Muhammad-Oli

On 2008-05-15 10:35:52, Cycovision wrote:
HaHaHa! That's a classic error, we used to get it a lot in the workshop! Ahhh, happy days...

I could fix it sometimes but most of the time I just did as it suggested and reinstalled the bloody thing



Haha I guess the thing is bung then. I don't think we ever had the installation disc, so I can't reinstall. Oh well, its a piece of crap anyway. The only use it had recently was to charge my brother's MP3 player.

Posted by paul101
Code:

format c: /q




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[ This Message was edited by: paul101 on 2008-05-15 11:06 ]

Posted by Muhammad-Oli
Whats that all about then?


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