Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
I'll sum it up quickly no one wants to hear the boring details lol, i have to be careful where I post as her and her mum look at my forum so thats a no no
Basically we became close on msn, went out a few times etc....but she became really really depressed, there are so good reasons why and i'm not going to post them around the net, but I had her on MSN saying things like she can't take it any more, she wish she'd just die etc.
Now...I care way to much to just leave, and i'm not a jerk, so i talked through some things etc and the next day she seemed a bit better.
Was talking to her wed night, all's good, then thursday she gets my valentines card (which i posted through her door at 4.30am lol)....then she gets my roses I had delivered...all's good, she went to work and for the 1st time ever she asked if i could pick her up...usually she says no when i offer.
She got home and things wern't too good, there were some problems there.
Anyway she went a bit quite on msn, only replying once ever 30-40mins...i say goodnight, she says night and that's it.
I get up friday and i'm blocked on MSN, she won't reply to a single text or anything.
As far as i'm concerned, i got her a nice card, nice flowers, picked her up from work, talked to her on msn..........then i'm blocked and she won't talk to me.
I'm just really baffeled by it, i'm sure I've not done anything wrong, thoughts?
Posted by BobaFett
ask her whats up. if she dont even answer within certain time, if she is not ready to respect u at least with an answer, to sit down and talk about it, then forget her imo. respect and understanding is more important then love...
Posted by garlic_bread
that sucks. my girlfreind (well ex now) just stoped talking to me after 4 years with no reason that was a month ago and i still have no reason.
i do hope she contacts you i know how i feels
Posted by BobaFett
there is alwasy a reason... good or bad, but just out of fun nobody stops to talk with sy...
Posted by Muhammad-Oli
That does suck.
Don't feel disrespected by her or anything, as she is obviously going through hard times and has a lot to think about. The fact that she blocked you shouldn't be taken too seriously at the moment either. Give her space, maybe a few days to a week before you talk to her about it, and be careful not to bring up sensitive subjects.
I believe she just needs time to think, and this may be about you, it may be about her home-life, about anything really. You've put in an effort and I don't think you have done anything wrong there mate.
I have gone through similar with my girlfriend (her parents both hate me and have hated me since we started going out nearly three years ago) and we have got along well just through respecting each others space and being supportive. Its the way to go.
Hang in there!
_________________
[ This Message was edited by: Muhummad-Oli on 2008-02-16 13:44 ]
Posted by MWEB
Women are unfathomable creatures, so don't go looking for any sense or logic in any decisions or actions that they take.
My (vast) experiance has taught me that if YOUR the one who makes all the effort in any relationship then ultimatly it's doomed and your better moving on and looking elseware.
Oli offers some very sound advice, see how things settle and pan out before pushing it any further.
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Thanks alot guys appreciate it, she used to say I was too nice lol but I can't help that
She told me once how she'd never received flowers, so i throw on me suit and show up at her house with a nice big bunch for no reason at all, soppy eh lol.
I will give it time like you say, i just hope that in 4-5 days time i'm still blocked and she still hasn't said why, it's not the being blocked that's annoying, it's the not knowing why.
At the end of the day I want her to be happy, and if she's happy not talking to me then that's how it has to be I guess.
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
On 2008-02-16 14:41:25, mweb6161 wrote:
Women are unfathomable creatures, so don't go looking for any sense or logic in any decisions or actions that they take.
My (vast) experiance has taught me that if YOUR the one who makes all the effort in any relationship then ultimatly it's doomed and your better moving on and looking elseware.
Oli offers some very sound advice, see how things settle and pan out before pushing it any further.
That's what another mate of mine said, he pointed out everything I had done and then asked what she had done for me and it made me thing....I have do so much stuff for her in the past week, little things like...we went out for ice cream 1 night and the place was closed, so the next day when she was upset, i went down town, bought her ice cream, left it out front and sent her a message saying look down.
Little things like that.
And the more I think about it the more I see she doesn't really seem to care what I do or try to do anything back. But the thing is, I know she's very unhappy and for some reason i want to help, don't know why i just like her so much that I want to help her, even as just a friend.
*thinks*
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
You know what, i'm sposed to be going to a party tonight, me 1 mate and 5 girls....it's an *all night* party too at one of the girls house, we're staying there.
Now, do I go or not?
We're not going out and she won't even talk to me, do i throw this opportunity away for something that may not even happen or do I just go, but behave myself.
I won't do anything, but I feel guilty about going...hmm
Posted by Ridahz
Theres something about women i dont get... There very strange, they wonder why us guys lose the plot, when its them who leads us lose our marbles, since my ex im very careful with girls lol, i can read them like books now lol!! 3 Girls are into me and i cant be bothered with any of them, but whatever they give me is just a bonus
And yes, they MUST talk to me to get a reply lol, P.I.M.P anyone?
Posted by Muhammad-Oli
On 2008-02-16 14:53:23, ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ wrote:
You know what, i'm sposed to be going to a party tonight, me 1 mate and 5 girls....it's an *all night* party too at one of the girls house, we're staying there.
Now, do I go or not?
We're not going out and she won't even talk to me, do i throw this opportunity away for something that may not even happen or do I just go, but behave myself.
I won't do anything, but I feel guilty about going...hmm
Go man! Like you said, you're not going out with the girl.
What you should do at the moment is take your mind off things with her for at least a couple of days, and focus on keeping yourself happy. So go out, have fun. Its nothing to do with her what you get up to.
She has blocked you which likely means she doesn't want to talk at the moment, and so you just have to wait it out until she does want to talk!
Try her in a few days mate.
Posted by MWEB
Someone once told me, " you have to throw a lot of darts at the board before you score a bullseye"
I envy those guys who end up with school friends as their lifelong partners, i was in my mid 20s before i met the right person after many false starts
Posted by Ridahz
On 2008-02-16 15:05:35, mweb6161 wrote:
Someone once told me, " you have to throw a lot of darts at the board before you score a bullseye"
I envy those guys who end up with school friends as their lifelong partners, i was in my mid 20s before i met the right person after many false starts
I agree with that statment and i guess i will go through many girls before i find the right 1 now lol
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Thanks guys, sounds silly but I actually feel better lol, I was sitting here all yesterday thinking about it all, now other people know and i realise it's not really something i've done I feel a bit better.
Just wondering are you all still fairly young? I turned 20 in November. (is that young or old lol). she's 19.
I'm sh*tting myself about tonight lmao, I think my mate basically realised that i've been down and that's why he's only invited me out with loads of girls, as you said, to take my mind of things.
I never know what to say though, thass why I plan to be nice and drunk before I go, drinking starts at 6 lol. Talking to 1 girl, with a mate is fine, but he's there with this girl he's seeing....and i'm gunna have to do stuff with about 5 other girls who i never met.
You know the shy type, who sits there, does sod all then goes home...well that's basically me lol, not sure what i'm going to do tonight, I don't plan to think about it. The plan is, leave my phone at home (no stupid drunken calls to people that way), go out and then just wake up in the morning and hope my trousers are still on lmao.
But I agree, girls always say it's men who loose the plot etc, they don't have a clue what they're doing to us lol.
Posted by amnesia
@garlic, happened to me too!!
I was with her for 3 years and she just vanished and stopped talking to me. I was such a gentleman too and gave her everything.
(then again, all my friend's who've had Japanese girlfriends have had that happen
)
Posted by Luke-the-magic-man
how old are you/her?
Also worth noting that you can never give a women everything she want's and treat her really good, theres no point as it's not what they want.
Posted by Paul_C
You want my advice? you might not like it! Walk away, I have been in a similar situation but over a much longer time period, ultimatly the depression will drive you away or drag you down too
Posted by LesleyAnn
guys, i hope you don't mind me butting in on your thread!
ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ i think your girlie is seriously attention seeking. she's only 19 and imo there have been some difficulties, maybe at home, work, with other boyfriends... that she hasn't found a way to deal with. the cutting-u-off on msn is the ultimate test, but imo she punishes herself too! best to wait to see if she comes back to u. check to see if u r still blocked in a few days... but this will be an even more difficult time. if u contact her u run the risk of saying the wrong thing and getting blocked again!
i really hope u have a good night out with the girls!
Posted by fatreg
ah, the female logic, the mind boggles. Could be anything mate, she may think that you want a go as she's "low", as people have said, see how things pan out and see what happens, if she realises that she has made a mistake and comes back it's all good, if not, it was never meant to be.
But as mweb said, you have to throw lots of darts, always alway remember that there are plenty more fish in the sea, I know it's hard to keep that in mind when something you hold close has gone but it's true fella, I'm mid 20s and I still haven't found Miss Right (Well, except for Wifey, she's brill) but you plod on, live each day as it comes something somewhen will happen..
as for that party... why are you still here? get there! it was planned before Wed night I take it? if so, of course you go, you don't undo plans all because someone is there, face "problems" don't run away from them! (and there's another 4 girls there!!!!!)
Good luck fella
Posted by haynesycop
Go to the party, your not going out with her so go out and have a nice time. It sounds like she has issues that she needs to sort out, you've done nothing wrong at all. Leave her be and let her come to you, if that is what she wants. There is somewhere out there for everyone just takes some people longer than others to find them. Men are from venus and women are from mars, the day we understand each other is the day the world ends, will always be the same.
Posted by fatreg
On 2008-02-16 19:42:09, haynesycop wrote:
Men are from venus and women are from mars
nonononon... Men are from Venus, Women like what Mars make!
Posted by haynesycop
I'll never understand men completely it's all too confusing but i can understand what idiots some women are, can't be doing with all the mind games crap that some women do, what is with that. Sometimes i think i should have been a bloke hehe.
Posted by fatreg
you don't need to fully understand men so it's all good! you will understand the one you want as much as you need to!
you a man? hmmmm it'd be a waste of a lovely female
Posted by Muhammad-Oli
On 2008-02-16 16:20:49, ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ wrote:
Thanks guys, sounds silly but I actually feel better lol, I was sitting here all yesterday thinking about it all, now other people know and i realise it's not really something i've done I feel a bit better.
Just wondering are you all still fairly young? I turned 20 in November. (is that young or old lol). she's 19.
I'm sh*tting myself about tonight lmao, I think my mate basically realised that i've been down and that's why he's only invited me out with loads of girls, as you said, to take my mind of things.
I never know what to say though, thass why I plan to be nice and drunk before I go, drinking starts at 6 lol. Talking to 1 girl, with a mate is fine, but he's there with this girl he's seeing....and i'm gunna have to do stuff with about 5 other girls who i never met.
You know the shy type, who sits there, does sod all then goes home...well that's basically me lol, not sure what i'm going to do tonight, I don't plan to think about it. The plan is, leave my phone at home (no stupid drunken calls to people that way), go out and then just wake up in the morning and hope my trousers are still on lmao.
But I agree, girls always say it's men who loose the plot etc, they don't have a clue what they're doing to us lol.
I am 19 and my girlfriend is 17 lol. I find when this sort of thing happens, your take on relationships matures pretty quickly.
How did your night out go mate? I'm a bit like that too when I go out (the quiet type). I'm louder when I don't drink lol.
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
A lot of good advice
Night was, well...dunno it wasn't good but i liked it still.
I got completely drunk and chipped my tooth on a wine bottle
Got in about 1am and she was online, didn't say to much as i couldn't really type lol, but she's on now and still just not talking much at all, so hey ho i guess, like someone said if it wasn't meant to be then it just wasn't.
Won't stop me thinking about her for a while though.
All's i ended up doing last night was getting drunk and spent most of the night asking people why she wont talk to me lol, oops.
Posted by fatreg
a while could be a while fella..
I split with an ex 3 years ago now, and still not a day goes by where I don't think of her..
glad you had a good night though
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
I hope it's not that long lol, it drains you, thinking about it all the time, I end up getting nothing done.
My tooth is annoying lol, it's sharp and to me it looks silly, mum and sister say it's noticeable, but it sure as hell is to me lol grrrr.
Posted by LesleyAnn
yeah ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ keep yourself as distracted as possible... to help u get through this stage. don't envy u one bit...
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Thanks LesleyAnn
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Hey you know I went to that party and got drunk....the guy i went with has told my *mates* that when i got in i drove 10 miles to kessingland drunk to be with my mates X.
I couldn't get my mouse to work for 20mins, how the fook and why the fook would I drive.
I don't care he's telling people I went to see this girl because she's a friend, but we were both like, i didn't see her at all i not seen her since Jan.
I'm livid that he told people i drank drove or however it's said....i had friends killed by someone who drunk drove and for him to tell people i was as careless as that upsets me.
Anyway, blocked em all on msn and not seen em in weeks, f*ck em all, start again I say!
Someone once said a friend is someone you can call at 4am.....none of them answered the phone when i called them at 4.
Posted by Brnoblade
A friend is someone you can rely on, the rest are acquaintances. We may not have as many friends as we would think, just lots of acquaintances. Remember, friendship is a two way thing. Treat others as you expect to be treated.
That was thought for the day
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Aye I agree m8, treat others how you'd like to be treated, and I can honestly say that they don't treat me as well as I do them.
There's alot of reasons, i'm not just spitting my dummy out, just feel it's time to cut out and start over.
Posted by brownlad007
stop being a pussy
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Right.
c*nt.
Posted by haynesycop
How very mature!
Posted by ÈL ® ö B ì Ñ
Don't really care
This can be locked now.