Posted by zuhib
hey guys just wanted have some advice on a personal problem here....the prob is tht my bestfriend is in luv with me...she told me bt i m confused cuz i like another girl whome i haven't told tht i like her!...she attracts me physically as oppose to my frnd whose n average lukin girl! bt i do have a soft corner fr me frnd too cuz v r bestest ov frnds....i'll b frank here cuz i'm confused cuz at ths age (23) physical attraction is more rather thn understanding wht luv actually is!!....need some advices nw
Posted by leeboy13
get stuck in....... youre young, enjoy youreself
its better to regret things youve done, than things you didnt do......
Posted by goldenface
Good advice for us all leeboy.
Go after the girl you fancy.
'Fortune favours the Brave', as another saying goes.
Add to that, 'Faint heart never won fair maiden'.
Ok, I'll shut it now.
[ This Message was edited by: goldenface on 2008-01-21 10:47 ]
Posted by kenoby
Depends how good friend she is to you. You can forget about the friendship if you go for it.
Posted by zuhib
dude shes my bestfriend!...i haven't told her tht i luv her so its nt final...n i recently was told by another friend ov mine tht she even rejected a guy just bcuz ov me!....n later i confirmed it! n i myself have a soft corner fr her in my heart!....m i being a fool leaving her bcuz ov her average luks fr a girl whome i dunnno if she likes me or nt!!!
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Posted by kenoby
Do as you think or feel. Later on you will regret if you didn't. I just said, if you go for your friend than you can forget about the friendship. Which one is more important is up to you. Then again, Somebody once said to me "It is better to have a canarian in your hand than a pigeon on the tree branch"
Posted by Cycovision
Normally I would start saying things like 'Looks aren't everything' etc. but in your case, I think you must go with your heart. If you don't find your friend attractive then it would be cruel and pointless to start something with her because it probably won't last.
As kenobi says, it would be a sure fire way to destroy the friendship if you're not fully committed to her.
Having said that though, Crosby, Stills, Nash and young once sang "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with"...
Posted by kenoby
@Cycovision, wow. Thoughtful one..
Posted by Chartreuse Eyes
@zuhib, This world is full with pretty girls
as you say that you are not sure just because the girl you think you are in love wid is pretty then your best friend? What if in future you met a more beautiful girl then you recent love , would you still stick to your girl or......
If still you would like to be wid your girl then you are in love man otherwise its just a beauty attraction. You just need to be honest with your feelings and thats it.
Besides all i know is love has no care for looks, like a mother loves her kid regardless beauty/looks.
Posted by zuhib
ur quiet rite....but call me crazy cuz v ppl always wait fr a perfect 1...i dunno if i m being a fool to leave someone who luvs me..cuz mayb i wont find nyone who will luv me truly as she does!....n also i dunno if the girl i like wud b able to give me the same luv as she gives it to me!
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Posted by fatevdestiny
As other said mate you have to make that decision on your own as its you who will be living with it.
I have been with my gf for over 3 years now and tbh she aint just my gf, she is like my best friend aswell. We do everything together and we can talk to each other about anything at all, even the slightest thing. Its just amazing.
So give it a bit of thought because that friend of yours might be the the one that your looking for in life
Posted by zuhib
cumon guys needs some more advices!!...before i make a decision!
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Posted by methylated_spirit
Reminds me of an old Scottish fable:
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So, he decides to give each one £5,000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total make-over with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the £5,000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the £5,000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and made a conclusion ...... he married the one with the biggest boobs !!!
Posted by fatevdestiny
^^^ Haha a aint heard that one before meths
Posted by Nanu
Go for the one with the cleanest feet, feet can say a lot about a woman and dirty smelly feet can be a real put off!
Just my opinion!
Posted by zuhib
duh!! ths is serious guys!!....i need some sensible advices....its no joke!
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Posted by arien617
Well there are some things that you have to make up your own mind on...
for example to use proper English instead of that shorthand crap.
but more to the point, an online community is hardly the place to ask personal relationship questions in my opinion.
Posted by Burgaz
If you don't know enough about how you feel at the age of 23 then you need some serious help...
Posted by lhaizza
You'll never know that you're inlove if you dont give it a try
Posted by mcrosser
hi, I just wanted to say, even if your eyes can't see her as pretty, if she's beautiful at heart, that is what stays throught the years because the skin wears of. True love is the one that lasts. She knows you (perhaps) a lot more than the beautiful girl, even some sides of your personality you don't usually show everyone (friends are like that), so if you come across an argument, she has the upper hand because she knows how you react and if she trully loves you, you will get to an agreement easier maybe than other girls to whom some of your reactins are new.
In conclusion, it really is a serious decision, remember don't do it to correspond her love and make her feel good, but do it (if you decide to) because you have maturely analyzed your feelings and understand that love is something learned and not what you feel in a specific moment. Because some people think that when they stop feeling atraction for their partner, love has ended and that's not right.
Good luck
Posted by QVGA
Let me make something crystal clear: you DO NOT start loving someone just because they love you too. Sure your BF loves you, that doesn't entitle you to love her too. If you don't then you don't, it doesn't matter if she does. Its like you're trying to be 'nice' by loving her back.
Posted by Twometre
On 2008-01-21 11:37:59, leeboy13 wrote:
get stuck in....... youre young, enjoy youreself
its better to regret things youve done, than things you didnt do......
One question mate, How do you trap a monkey?
I can only say that listen to everybody, trust nobody and follow your heart. Remember that no one is perfect but true love is to love the imperfect perfeclty and from all imperfactions to form the image of your desires.
good luck
Posted by kenoby
^^^ wave him a banana?
Posted by zuhib
thnx guys!!! i really really appreciated ur advices...i guess i m just being mayb nice to her by loving her back cuz shes just so into me!! v have been frnds fr like 3 years nw...she understands me really well!!...sometimes i do try to avoid her just to make sure if i miss her or nt!...mayb i'll definitely feel guilty if i leave her just bcuz she doesn't look pretty to my eyes!....let me put it this way tht my heart loves her bt my mind doesn't excepts!!....mayb i did find true love bt i guess i m just blind!
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Posted by adnansanni
You should ask first the girl whom you love, because some day you will think why you wouldn't ask her. Your friend loves you that not mean that you have to love her. When someone falls in love then he/she doesn't care to love by other one. You said you are friends for 2/3 years. So you know her very well, now try to know something about other girl whom you love. Then think who is best for you and the relationship will remain. Just one thing remember my friend, good looking doesn't work all time if she doesn't care about you.
Posted by Twometre
On 2008-01-22 15:44:19, zuhib wrote:
thnx guys!!! i really really appreciated ur advices...i guess i m just being mayb nice to her by loving her back cuz shes just so into me!! v have been frnds fr like 3 years nw...she understands me really well!!...sometimes i do try to avoid her just to make sure if i miss her or nt!...mayb i'll definitely feel guilty if i leave her just bcuz she doesn't look pretty to my eyes!....let me put it this way tht my heart loves her bt my mind doesn't excepts!!....mayb i did find true love bt i guess i m just blind!
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If a leopardwas given the powerto possess wing mate, surely and definately we would to stop it from flying. Unless I am wrong my friend.
Posted by Muhammad-Oli
Hey man, sounds like a bit of a problem you have there.
Is your friend (the one who loves you) your girlfriend? If so, I would stick with her. But if she is not, and to you she is just your best friend, then there is no need to hold yourself back. You can't be with her just because she wants you, you have to do what you want to do.
Have you had other girlfriends recently? If you have, then your friend should be used to it and so there shouldn't be too much of a problem with pursuing the other girl. She may be a little annoyed or upset but if she truly loves you, then she will stick around.
You seem young, and you've got your whole life ahead of you. See how the other girl goes and if it doesn't work out, I think your friend will still be around. Perhaps then you can give that side a chance.