Posted by SE4NICK
Ok here is a thread where you can show your work (poetry, song lyrics, short stories, extracts from things you have written). ATM I am looking for somewhere to host members writings so instead of writing being scattered all through the thread you can just click a link (that I will post here) and you will be able to see the writers work easily...Let me know if u have any ideas...
STRICTLY NO PLAGIARISM !!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wine Of The Dead & Dying...
The table overturned,
the glasses crash to the floor.
The blood red liquid already seeping through the cracks inbetween the maple floorboards.
Griffin smashes the glistning bottle on the end table.
He turns towards me, rage filled eyes that almost pierce my skin.
I stand my ground, without even thinking I remove a gleaming, silver dager from the dark leather holster on my waist.
My hand poised towards Griffin, the dagger shimmering in the candle light.
I take a step towards him, the tiny flames dancing, as if they were daring me to lunge at him.
My heart pounding, sweat dripping of my forehead.
I try to picture what my oponent is contemplating.
Suddenly, without warning, something from behind knocks me to the ground.
The dagger launched into the table, lodging itself there.
I look up, MY OWN BROTHER, Skye, towers above me.
I fail to make sense of the situation, expecting to wake up any moment now.
I hear Griffin's footsteps shuffle closer towards me.
In one swift movement Skye pins me down, hard agains the cold floorboards.
The shuffling stops, Griffin now above me in Skye's place.
In a split second, Griffin launches the half-wine bottle into my thigh.
I scream and struggle, no one can hear me.
The wine bottle is removed from my thigh, Griffin discards it with a sickening smirk on his face.
Skye releases me, already I feel weak from blood loss, I cant get up.
The pain is unbelievable, never have I expierienced a pain like this before.
Not just my thigh, but the betreal of my brother and only friend is equally as hurtful as the flesh wound itself.
Griffin & Skye, not showing any remorce,
leave me, shaking on the floor.
More red liquid now finding its way through the gaps in the floorboards, only this time it's the wine of the Dead.
A car outside pulls away with an erie screach, at that very moment a gust of wind blows through the open window, extinguishing the dancing flames...
NICK D
[ This Message was edited by: SE4NICK on 2007-11-06 06:44 ]
Posted by gola
fantastic,after reading the first few lines i just felt like i had to finish the whole passage...nice stuff mate,does it come naturally?
Posted by arien617
Superb passage.
A good read!
Posted by Sammy_boy
Gripping poem there - there's the odd spelling error if I get picky but nice imagery there! Quite a dark poem, makes you wonder why this happened and what happens next.
Posted by gola
poem?
Posted by Ridahz
Me likes
Posted by SE4NICK
Well i am slightly let down about the lack of feedback, however I am really glad that the few who read it liked it !
No the question "Does It Come Naturally" well some of the things I write do come naturally however other things take more thought....yes there are others.................
Posted by deluded
@SE4NICK, great piece of writing there. I particularly liked the "wine of the dead" metaphor. I used to do a bit of writing myself, but it's been a while now. I hardly have time these days. Here's something I wrote sometime back, hope you don't mind me sharing it here.
Restless
The meadow weeps as dawn breaks.
Tears roll down the glittering leaves.
The sun rises, fiery red.
A sight of magnificence.
Yet.
A moment too short,
A moment too soon.
The moment passes,
A sight etched only in memory.
Ahead lie uncertainties.
Will I see the sun rise again tomorrow?
Night falls, all is quiet.
The thumping of my heart is all I hear.
The shadows on the walls,
Slowly engulf my sanity.
There will be no rest tonight.
Again.
By: deluded@Esato
Just a suggestion, maybe you could make this thread a place where people can share their works if they wish to. Cheers!
[ This Message was edited by: deluded on 2007-11-12 12:13 ]
Posted by fatevdestiny
Both poems were amazing
Very talented indeed
Posted by *Jojo*
Those LINES can be USED as lyrics in a song . . .
Posted by deluded
@fatevdestiny, jojo, thank you both for the kind comments. @SE4NICK, I liked your piece of writing, if you've got more, do share with us! Cheers!
Posted by SE4NICK
GOOD work deluded !
I will share some more of my work and change the thread nowish...
Posted by SE4NICK
Ok here is one of many others I have written.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Untitled - Nick D
I press on through the soothing darkness, alone.
With every step, I grow colder.
I pull my bloodstained blazer even tighter around me, keeping one hand on the bullet wound.
I soon hope to find a way out of this mess of a world !
Trying to forget you, I remember more.
I now realise what a bitch you were.
The other bastards were fearful, cowering when you passed.
I, was the one.
I would have killed for you.
I always stood through it all.
NOW !
It has come to this,
I can walk no further, my clothes now drenched in blood.
I take one last look at the stars as EVERYTHING drifts further and further away.
I remove the cross from my neck,
throwing it with the last ounce of my strength.
It lands, glistening RED, in the snow.
I then collapse into the crimson pool of blood and snow beneath me.
I hear the WHISPER OF SIN creeping up on me...
Posted by deluded
@SE4NICK, nice one! Thanks for taking my suggestion about making this thread one where we can all contribute. I hope there'll be others willing to put up their works here. Don't be shy! I know it's not easy to put one's works up for fear of criticism, but I think it's a good way to improve. I also hope everyone won't be too critical of the contributors as I'm sure we've all put a fair amount of thought into our works and they mean something to us.
Here's the first piece I wrote many years ago:
Silence.
It is the most precious of things.
It is the most melodious song.
Silence speaks without a word,
Yet it says a thousand.
Silence is tranquil,
Yet it stings like a resounding echo.
Reverberating through itself,
Making itself heard without any effort.
By: deluded@Esato
By the way, Nick, I realised both your pieces are quite dark, are they usually like that? Mine are too, most of the time, I've realised.
[ This Message was edited by: deluded on 2007-11-08 16:39 ]
Posted by SE4NICK
All my pieces are dark.........never written a happy piece in my life lol...
Anyway ur last one was really really good, even though it was soo short it was wonderfull and conveyed sooo much !
Still lokking for sort of a "poem" hosting thing explanation in first post..
Posted by paul101
brilliant
Posted by SE4NICK
what if we all signed up for blogger then posted the poems, stories etc on a blog then in the main posts i could have links to the storie blogs and chatergorize them...???
Posted by SE4NICK
I and sirhackalot may have a solution if we work together, soo bear with us whilst we set up an ftp server...
Posted by deluded
Thanks for the kind comments guys, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm hoping there'll be more contributions. I've still got a couple more, but some are quite raw and unpolished.
@SE4NICK, I really appreciate the effort that you and sirhackalot are putting in to find a suitable outlet for us. I am a little concerned about plagiarism, to be honest. I know I'm not all that good at this stuff, but I really do hope due credit would be given if anyone does take stuff from this thread.
Posted by SE4NICK
My thoughts exactly !
Posted by parsnip
we had to continue this poem as a story so here is my attempt:
So here I am once again. The cold grey walls seem to welcome me as the rusted iron door slams behind me, locking me into my new home. Memories of my past achievements come to me as I look around. My home is just as I left it, the small unyielding bed, the compact en-suite bathroom and even the same roommate, Jeremy. Him and I talk for a while about good times we’ve had in the past. He tells me I’ll fit in well with the new crowd, I hope they like me. He asks me why I am back so soon and I tell him that I felt the need for another Holiday. As I slowly tune out of the conversation I vaguely hear Jeremy give an excuse to leave, I nod in his direction and a powerful feeling seems to fill me as my eyes search around the room. I notice a stain on the wall, just underneath the small blocked window letting through a pittance of light, following the light draws my eyes to some marks on the wall, scratched deeply and reflecting the light. 47 weeks by my count. I think about the design of the cell, it is similar to most cells I have been in although I think it is much more roomy than the others. The walls of meter-thick concrete and the once highly pol-ished but now rusted door contain me, the gaps in the door stopping any privacy from ever reaching me. There is a poster in the corridor; I can see the edge of it through the door, it is cheerfully coloured, reds and yellows and contains some sort of slogan. I can piece to-gether the letters but do not understand the word. M.O.T.I.V.A.T.I.O.N it reads. I stand up, give the room a last look and then follow Jeremy from the room in the direction of the Mess.
* * * *
We have been doing a lot of activities lately, I have cooked 4 different meals and I really enjoy how creative I can be, a lot of the others have complimented me and told me I could become a chef one day, I know this is true. Every Morning, at 6 we go to the recreation area where we exercise for an hour before Breakfast, I often fall behind and the guards laugh at me and push me around. I know that I could harm them. Just a touch of my hand and then darkness. I know I shouldn’t do this and have so far refrained.
I am thinking about complaining.
A social worker keeps coming to see me, I have informed him of the way I am treated and he says he will stop them. Good riddance. He keeps asking me about my past but I ha-ven’t told him anything, I don’t want to. I can still remember it as if it were yesterday. I had a good life, I was doing well at school and enjoyed it and I was proud of my work, however one day, I was sitting with my Gran at home while my parents were out having a meal. We were talking about school and I vividly remember seeing the proud look on her face when I showed her a piece of work I had received a prize for when to my horror, she fell to the ground clutching at her heart. I remember wanting to help her but being completely immo-bilized with terror.
I was only 8.
Since that day, I have blamed myself for my Gran’s death no matter what anyone says, my grades slipped and my life seemed meaningless, I wanted to kill something, anything to avenge her death.
I remember back to the fatal evening which caused me to be sent here, it was raining out-side - rain always worsens my mood and that was no exception. I remember thinking about my Gran, I was feeling so depressed and empty that I wanted human contact and recognition so I called the radio station. It was the only phone number I had. The DJ came on the line and asked me what my standing was on global warming, I tried quickly to think of a reply but words failed me. After a pause I told him that he was speaking to a Super-star. The buzz of the dialing tone’s somber voice cut through me like a knife as the phone disconnected. It felt like I was once again being cut off from society. I realised then that the only way to gain attention was to resort to real violence.
As I walked outside, the bright orange glare from a streetlight seemed to light up the pud-dles of rainwater on the pavement causing them to glitter suddenly and then fade to a dull grey colour as my eyes got used to the brightness. I shivered and started to wonder why I was outside on such a cold, dreary night. The feel of the knife in my hand reassured me and gave me a purpose. I walked slowly, powerfully, gracefully towards a woman in a dl blue raincoat and grabbed her arm.
* * * *
The blinding spotlight focused on me as I sat, nervous and sweating in the courtroom, the gavel gave out four booming cries. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. and a hush fell over the room, all eyes turned to me, feeling like a deer trapped in the headlights of a fast ap-proaching car I glanced quickly towards the Judge as he began to talk.
“Charges of attempted wounding, assault and possessing dangerous weapons”
I try to explain that I had only intended to talk to the woman but I’m cut off once again. He asks the jury for their verdict and after only a short pause the powerful blow smashes into me as the word “guilty” escapes their lips. “Guilty” I repeat slowly.
by me (Adam Hutchinson
_________________
--Nitro--
[ This Message was edited by: Nitro1360 on 2007-11-07 22:21 ]
Posted by SE4NICK
Nitro I really enjoyed reading that, thanks for contributing.........
Posted by deluded
@Nitro1360, commendable effort, appreciate that! I read the original in the link you posted, and some of the comments from the readers as well. I guess interpretation of literature can be quite controversial and somehow that's the beauty of it. Everyone relates to their own experiences and interprets it differently.
Ok, here's another one from me. It's the most recent one I wrote, if I remember correctly. My friend wanted me to write something to do with life and death in 10 minutes, here's what I came up with:
"Life"
The cold night sky,
the pale moon light.
The smell of death
lingers in the air.
A battle rages
within his heart.
A mind so strong,
a body so weak.
He fights to live,
some choose to die.
Another thousand miles away,
People awake to a brand new day.
The clear blue sky,
the fiery sun.
The laughter of young children,
fill the air.
A battle rages
within her heart.
A body so strong,
a mind so weak.
She could have lived,
yet chose to die.
Another thousand miles away,
People awake to a brand new day.
By: deluded@Esato
Posted by SE4NICK
Thanks that was brill, and in 10mins !
We have a littlehic up with the ftp........will figure it out.......
Posted by SE4NICK
Almost got the ftp set up.........
Posted by deluded
Thanks nick, it's still quite raw I think. Anyway, thanks for helping us set up the ftp server. I'd still like to appeal for more contributions though. Come on people, share your works with us!
Posted by SE4NICK
THE FTP is ready unfortunately i wont be able to set up the thread until thursday sorry
Posted by deluded
No worries, I'm a little busy with exams right now anyway, so I won't be able to post much for the time being. Thanks for all you're doing for us, appreciate it mate!
Posted by Adz21
Can't say i write much these days, i sometimes or used to when i could be arsed write some songs for local punk bands my mates are in. Here's my contribution, hope you like it. feedback would be nice
Why?
Death and poverty consuming the globe.
Whilst fat cats get rich in their humble abode.
2007 and still people die.
Whilst wicked politicians sip champagne and lie.
Everyones human were all from one place.
So why choose who dies its a total disgrace.
All this death from money and greed.
We are all one race forget colour and creed.
Its got to be one world or none.
Or everything we have will all soon be gone.
Adam Wright
The worlds a messed up place, with messed up people
_________________
MDMAOK Alright, yeah yeah yeah.
MDMAOK Alright!
[ This Message was edited by: Adz21 on 2007-11-11 23:09 ]
Posted by SE4NICK
Although im not usually a fan of "rhyming" that was nice, truthfull...the world is messed up !
Posted by deluded
@Adz21, as Nick said, I like it cos it's a truthful piece. More or less sums up what a lot of us feel I think. Keep them coming!
Here's another from me, it's quite a short one:
Strangers
Passing time,
Passing souls.
Two passing wanderers.
Their paths have crossed,
Brushed past each other.
Two passing wanderers.
Passing souls,
Passing time.
By: deluded@Esato