Posted by *Jojo*
ABC Dictionary's latest definitions . . .
_______________________________
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds
of either
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest
piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
By feminine water power
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls
into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before
elections and your
confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his
bills. ...
Posted by whizkidd
have seen this earlier but tis funny!
Posted by *Jojo*
@whiz - Yeah . . . and it did NOT come from YOU mate . . . from the - USA !